Reflections of Life!

And eventually we do put ourselves first…not as we normally do in life, forcefully…but by understanding our fears, and giving a love to ourselves that we initially did not dare because of how we felt about ourselves. It is in putting us first instead of our fears.

Our fears have to be lived to be understood, and in their outcome is the wisdom of that love. We always give from where we are at. And that is mirrored back to us in our lives by those around us. And as we grow up we give from those fears, a place where we feel unloved and unwanted. Each time we give a flower or argue with a friend, those actions are reflected back to us so that we can ‘see’ where our hearts are, giving out a curved version of who we are because of the expectations of ourselves built from those walls of fear.

And we can never see or understand our fears for many years because we avoid them because of their pain…but as life goes on, those around us keep reflecting back who we are, so that we can ‘see’ where we truly are inside. You know, those situations in relationships that always seem to keep repeating themselves, leaving you totally amazed at how these events keep happening. Making you feel like the universe is picking on you. Until you reach that point where ‘I can’t do this anymore’ becomes your mantra.

But once the fear is understood, it loses its power, and we then see that it has only been us that is blocking our love for ourselves…because we didn’t feel worthy of it.

Our negativities and low self worth from childhood hold those walls up until we are forced to step through them. As we have done by going through the many ups and downs within our life. Slowly we have been able to ‘see’ those walls and with great courage and strength, dared those fears to find that belief of who we really are within and become that love we always seek in our lives, that happiness that we look for but never seem to find.

It is there, gently waiting, prodding us to take the next step, to at last find that love, and be that true freedom within. And to be totally happy, for we have finally found what we have been seeking all our lives…to love ourselves unconditionally. For those fears ARE the conditions we had placed on our journey, and in defeating them we totally appreciate what it has taken to break through and find who we really are within.

And in doing so, we are finally free. Because that happiness is the love we dared to give ourselves, releasing the conditions that held us in chains, to find an unconditional that will leave you in tears…tears of love and gratitude because of what you have now found within.

May your journey dare those fears, for through them is a light like no other, and a beauty beyond measure…….your light   ❤

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58 thoughts on “Reflections of Life!

    • Thank you Sheri. Great words…’fear is a powerful paralyzer or a magical motivator’… and I think like all of life, there are two sides to every part of our lives, and one cannot be fully understood until both sides are seen and a balance reached from that understanding. We assign many shades of grey as we discover ourselves within that journey…and then the truth shall set us free 😀
      Thank you for sharing your magic kind lady, may it always show the balance within of that love you have found ❤ 😀

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  1. Just had to read this one, Mark. Saw it on a “like” you put on my comment on Amy’s blog, and the title is so close to my blog name, “Reflections On Life” that I tried it out. Love it, now following you til my day arrives to leave this life. Hands and arms cramping now so see ya another day. Angie

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    • Your comment to Amy was very beautiful. To touch someone from a place within is very loving indeed for someone who is going through a tough time, especially with what you are going through yourself. That is true ‘compassion’ because you ‘know’ that journey ❤
      Thank you for sharing Angie, may your day only know the love that is in your heart in all that you do. Love and light for your arms and hands, and the beautiful sleep you will have tonight ❤ 😀

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      • What a sweet thing to say, Mark. Amy is such a sweet person and I hate for her to be going thru this time of sorrow unable to go to her Mom. It’s hard enough when you are there and lose a Mom, but to have to be so far away is heart rending. As for my own situation, I’ve had MS since I was 11 and now I’m ready to go. Sixty three years is a long time to live with fatigue while raising kids and cooking for farm hands, but I wouldn’t change a thing about it all. Most days I wish I could be back on the farm with my garden and the kids still running around like little renegades trying to see what they could get into next without getting caught! It’s been quite a ride, but I’m ready for this train to get to the station. I think this time I might be my own train wreck, although to be honest, one glance at my apartment would cause you to question that.
        Well, as you can now see, I tend to talk a lot on good days. You did wish me a good one though. Thanks for that. God bless you. ❤

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        • And many blessings to you also Angie. We have developed much compassion through our own journey’s so that we can very much relate to what Amy is now going through. It isn’t easy, especially with a connection so close to our hearts. Our journey’s touch so much pain it always makes you think ‘is this worth it’, but beneath it all we know we have become something more beautiful, changed as time has passed us by, and can ‘see’ from a much better place within, making it a hard but most certainly heartfelt journey 😀
          May your love vanquish your pain, and your heart render those beautiful times between those painful episodes in full technicolor to show us our love inside. Have a beautiful day Angie, wind, rain or shine ❤

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          • Much better now Mark. It just takes time and patience for the bad days to pass but the sun always shines somewhere. Have a blessed and peace filled weekend. I’ll be enjoying my newest orchid’! 😇❤🎼

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          • That is good to hear Angie, just make sure you do get lots of sunshine as it increases our production of Vitamin D which boosts our immune system. For you and your flowers 😀
            Have a lovely weekend too Angie, may it be a painless, light filled adventure ❤

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  2. In War and Peace Prince Andrei finally realizes that freedom is when you realize that you can love someone you hate but that sort of freedom is a gift from God. On our own it’s very difficult to get to that place. If you truly love an enemy you’ve conquered many fears in the act.

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    • We have so many conditions on ourselves in this world Adrienne, but having personally seen and ‘touched’ that unconditional place I do think it is possible to at least get very near it. I think just being in a ‘body’ down here is a condition all its own. But above it all I do know that these conditions are our guideposts to reach that place inside us, and realise that beauty within by finally loving ourselves, going past the many fears and conditions we hold against ourselves, and understanding that love because of it.
      Our enemies are only that because of the way we feel about ourselves and the world from that place within…conquer our own fears and we release that view, and be able to love our enemies as we then are able to love ourselves.
      I say this because of what I have learnt and seen in my own journey. Once I finally saw and understood my biggest fear (it was my fear of a rejection of love from my dad which I carried into my life in all I did), everything changed, and I mean ‘everything’. I could now ‘see’ fear in others, understanding this journey we all make. Yes, they are all very different, but those patterns of fear are constantly repeated, blinding us to ourselves, let alone others. And when an event finally opens that curtain, the release of a lifetime of holding this fear within us, opens the floodgates of emotion, clearing that wall that we held before us in all that we did, so that we can now truly ‘see’ all around us where before was this constant interference because we were always ‘on guard’ for those fears.
      The freedom is absolutely incredible when we finally see it, in heart and mind. So much so that our lives completely change, we are no longer what went before and because we are now feeling a little ‘lost’ even, naked because we have now ‘let go’ all that was built on a lie. It removes so much of what went before, but glad to be free, and begin a true life built on that truth, no longer stumbling from those fears.
      May your love ‘know’ that heart within, as I think all around you will, even the animals 😀 Thank you for sharing ❤

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  3. Beautiful post Mark… For many years my ego didn’t want to me to step near my fears as it thought it wasn’t necessary… but as the years went by they came closer and luckily part of me knew to head on in there and acknowledge and embrace them one by one… AND yes like magic they transformed…much love Mark, Barbara

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    • They are a fearsome creature Barbara, residing within to keep us at bay. But that is so we will really appreciate ourselves all the more when we do step past our walls and finally ‘see’ the beauty within 😀
      And doesn’t the sun shine so much brighter when we do 😀
      Thank you for sharing kind lady, may your days be full of that loving sunshine ❤

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    • And God bless you too Leila. It was an interesting journey to say the least, but within it was a jewel I was shown…and quite simply it was those fears we hold within…are a perfection within themselves. They are there just as much as unconditional love is, but one cannot see and understand them without the other. They are the balance our life needs.
      I heard a story somewhere once that I totally scoffed at when I heard it…until this time in my life. It goes something like this. One of God’s greatest Angels, with a great love, unconditionally chose to be our ‘dark side’ so that we too could find and understand that unconditional love in our hearts. The act was so profound that God holds that Angel in great esteem and love for such an unconditional act…so that we too could find it also.
      I don’t admit to fully understanding it…but it has such a truth within it, like finally stepping into that love that scares us because we let go of that ‘control’, release our fears and be fully open as it is so totally pure and unconditional 😀
      I hope to one day be in that place. Thank you for sharing, your words are also a blessing ❤

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  4. “Because that happiness is the love we dared to give ourselves, releasing the conditions that held us in chains, to find an unconditional that will leave you in tears…tears of love and gratitude because of what you have now found within.”

    That so eloquently explains what I have experienced in my own healing. Thanks for commenting on my recent blog as through that comment I found my way here. And I really believe we need to engage with our fear to find the love for ourselves and others. If we run from our fears all the time without holding the hand of fear we don’t really get to know ourselves very well. ❤

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    • Thank you Kitt, it is a great message that the universe gives us. When I look back and can now ‘see’ how it is built, the perfection astounds me. I still look at the many people around me going through such turmoil and see it all perfectly coming together. It may not look it from the outside, but I swear when you ‘look back’, you too will see the beauty, and most of all, understand the ‘why’ it was needed to find that light….our light ❤
      Thank you for sharing my friend, may your journey also allow you to 'see' that beautiful big heart glowing within, it is waiting for us all ❤

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  5. Only too well do I know those words, “I can’t do this anymore” and then I seek change. Too much of our lives are consumed with fear and it takes constant observance to overcome those fears, IF we even see them to begin with. For most of my life I was consumed with childhood fears, Mark, and in so doing, detested (a nice term) my Mother. In realizing how short life is and how precious, I made a grand effort to bring the huge chasm that existed between us together to form ONE Land. And I did it. Her decline is bittersweet because I’ve only officially known a “mother” for about one year. And we have managed to come to know, really know Unconditional Love between us. How many daughters can say their Mothers really understand them and Love them Unconditionally? That is the Gift I know have. To know this experience has enriched my life beyond anything I could have ever dreamed. Beautiful beautiful post, dear friend. I related to every single word. Bless you and thank you! 🦋🌹🦋

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    • Thank you Amy. It is a big journey to rebuild the many bridges that our fears knock down in our lives. But they are the making of us as you have discovered with your mom. It has taken many years, courage and a faith in ourselves to finally ‘see’ that love, of ourselves because we have kept at it, and to those we hold so dearly.
      I am glad your bridges are mended and the love of a mother and daughter are once more united. And as you know, within this is that unconditional love that we all seek, and its beauty is a gift beyond price. I am happy for you both, that you have joined in that ONE land together, and as you have said, been enriched by that connection. Love and light to you both ❤ 😀

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  6. Don’t have a stroke, it’s just me…………………..I do make it over here sometimes……………..I must do better. :)I love this. Another good one. Oh, you know me all too well, don’t you? You even know my favorite mantra!!!! lol lol lol Peace out!!!! XXX :):)

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  7. Such a perfect title, Mark, “Reflections of Life.” At some point, I hope we all take the time to do just that, reflect on our lives. I know that I do that at least once a year, trying to figure out the whys of how I’ve acted and felt on my journey. I know we build the walls all around us to feel protected from the hurt, but I also know that facing our fears and going back in time finding the root of the fear is the only way to end the misery they cause. I think it was Gary Zukav author of “Seat of the Soul” that said something like: “We will keep making the same mistakes or having the same bad experiences until we learn the lesson.” Life is all about lessons and about forgiving ourselves. I can forgive others, but I have trouble sometimes forgiving myself. Lesson to still learn.

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    • Thank you Michele. Our journeys are packed with lessons, but they all point to something we all need to find within ourselves. That self love that we block with those fears.
      They are very long lessons, but if they weren’t a big impact on our lives we would just brush them off and gain nothing from them. And since we are in fact very hardy souls, it takes a bit of pushing to get us to really take notice. But when we do, we can ‘see’ the love we have been blocking, and appreciate it all the more because of the pain it had caused.
      It is an amazing thing when we finally ‘see’, that light bulb moment when we realise those past lessons did have great purpose, and in doing so realise that we had in fact been loving ourselves by forcing ourselves to ‘see’ the most beautiful part of us, and was really waiting to support us when it was found 😀
      Thank you for sharing kind lady, may your journey wrap you in that love that is you ❤

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  8. Found you over at Grief Happens. Odd or God? I am going through this exact revelation as we speak. I mean, literally today. I have been in recovery for quite some time, but it wasn’t until I made a super big shift in my life (physically) that I was able to open up the channels of other areas of my life that needed healing. I am so incredibly humbled (and a little freaking out) about the realization that so much of my life has been built on fear. “If I do x, y and z” I will lovable. Only to achieve “x, y and z” and need the next A, B and C to feel lovable again. I didn’t see this at the time (of course) but God has revealed to me lately, over and over, that I will NEVER be totally satisfied by ABCxyz because Him and only him can take that place. I know we all have higher powers of our own understanding, but mine has been patient with my doubts… my fears… and loved me enough to allow me to make the stands I’ve needed in my personal life to put the spear in the giant, chaotic, unwielding monster of fear that has previously run my life. And now, while I don’t know where I’ll land, God does. And while I travel in the fog, I am certain that he will be there on the other side, with arms wide open and full of love. “Welcome home,” he’ll whisper. (Actually, he’s whispering it now. I’m where I need to be right now… in the hallway… in the waiting room. I’ve arrived NOW, because God is there with me.)

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    • It is an amazing journey Andrea, and totally given to us by God…unconditionally. It is in finding the ‘conditions’ that bind us that we realise that we are only not loving ourselves because of those fears. But remember, they have great purpose, for going through them we only then begin to ‘see’ the fears for what they are, and in doing so understand the why we have felt as we did, and can now love ourselves fully, minus the walls in life we had built, and understand what ‘unconditional’ really means.
      Yes, those fears are needed, so that we can ‘see’ the beauty within us…gently waiting for us to break through, and become what we truly are within.
      And those fears are not ‘immediately’ removed, for you will be touched by them in the future, but because you have now begun to understand their meaning, they lose their power, each time giving YOU power in knowing you have won and can ‘see’ the purpose behind them.
      Welcome home my friend, may that love you have found be forever wrapped within and create the beauty you are now becoming ❤

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  9. Beautiful prose, Mark. This hit me right in the heart–like your writing always does.
    I’ve always believed that what we put forth, is what we receive. Now I’m trying to teach that to my children as well as the people around me. Imagine if we could create a groundswell of sending flowers more so than arguing. The ripples could last forever.
    Thank you so much for this today. Namaste

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    • Thank you Michelle. Honestly, I think that of all the things they teach in school, the emotional relationship sides of people do not get a look in.
      Yes, parents do give that, but only what they have learnt from their parents, and they then can only give what they have then learnt from their parents also.
      I think their needs to be a ‘counselling’ time for all children (and their parents), individually and in groups to show ‘life’ in a much better perspective and give them the tools to deal with the many things that hold us all to ransom because we don’t know how to, due to that lack in our lives or at least, an understanding of the fears that may be already building because of events in our lives. And that means adults as well as children. If a child feels they are taking that journey with those they love and look up to, they will feel closer, as even the parent will.
      As you say, learning to send flowers rather than an argument at that young age must give a huge hand up in life, for the children and those around them.
      And thank you for your lovely comment as well kind lady, it is gratefully received as always. Love and light to you 😀 ❤

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    • Thank you Paras. God designed this perfectly, unconditionally so that we will go exactly where our hearts guide us, so that we can ‘see’ the beauty that we are, and find the love that we are.
      We will trip and stumble, but in doing so understand after each time that we are feeling something…something quite profound if we dare to listen to it, and allow it to guide us home 😀
      May your journey have many whispers from your heart kind lady ❤

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  10. As I read your words memories of my childhood came to the forefront. My childhood was bitter sweet. But the truth is I would not be the person I am today were it not for my childhood experiences. I began to love myself after years of seeking to understand, why…

    What you wrote is so true, “But once the fear is understood, it loses its power, and we then see that it has only been us that is blocking our love for ourselves…because we didn’t feel worthy of it.”
    Thank you for this post.
    Blessings

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    • Blessings to you also Vanessa. It is an intricate journey to ‘see’, but in going through it, and in hindsight it all becomes clear. And with it the knowledge and wisdom of understanding it does have purpose.
      As you have said ‘you would not be the person you now are’ without going through those times that test us to the core.
      Thank you for sharing your journey also. Namaste ❤

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  11. You know dear Mark how I resonate here with your words in your post..
    ” And as we grow up we give from those fears, a place where we feel unloved and unwanted.”

    Something that stung deeply, and was a great reason I never put myself first..

    “But once the fear is understood, it loses its power, and we then see that it has only been us that is blocking our love for ourselves…because we didn’t feel worthy of it.”

    So so true Mark, our low self-esteem and worth that built up so many walls around ourselves.. It is not an easy task to just demolish them..
    We do so brick by brick.. Each brick another emotion that we have to overcome.. As we search deeper within ourselves

    It is not until you free yourself.. That you can finally allow yourself to Breathe… It is like your lungs have for the first time tasted air.. And the joy within at discovering who at last you really are..

    A wonderful post Mark.. And Long may your Light shine my friend 🙂 💜😁

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    • Thank you Sue. And that comment has come from someone that has demolished many walls my friend. Even your garden is testament to that. The ‘knowing’ to let it all go and put your heart into you, with the thing that you love the most…your garden 😀 (Oh, and hubby too 😀 )
      It allows you the freedom of just being yourself after those many years of being walled in by fear.
      A hard journey but a very appreciative one because of what you have found inside. And as you have said, finally a huge breath of lovely clear air, no longer blocked by all we hold inside, wrapped by those walls.
      May your garden, within and without, bear much fruit Sue, with the light that now shines in that discovery ❤

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    • And that is putting it mildly Kay. But even so, it is a teacher, and a very big one, for without it we would never understand that appreciation and love of ourselves for what we have endured. Without it we would be lost, never ‘knowing’ that beauty inside.
      I suppose it is like anything we accomplish, the feeling of elation, being proud of what we have achieved, and especially the ‘knowing’ of what we have done, its wisdom and understanding, makes us feel much better within ourselves because of that achievement, and ‘knowing’ we are better than what we had thought of ourselves before. The learning to love ourselves…yes, a hard task master, but the beauty in the home straight, regardless of looks, color, level or loss…is beyond your wildest dreams. I wish I could show or explain what I have seen, everyone would be lined up in a queue around the country for entry 😀 But regardless, we have already purchased our tickets, and are on our ride right here, right now…we may as well enjoy the journey by sometimes just letting this world go and stop and smell the flowers, there is much beauty here too ❤

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