Monthly Archives: September 2013

Learning to Love

I read a very nice poem by a ¬†lovely lady on a blog here yesterday (scottishmomus you have been outed ūüôā ¬†), and it reminded me of a love that I had experienced and what it had meant to me. Yes, that love was very special to me, but it showed me something even more precious. It showed me how to love myself, and I don’t mean that in a egotistical sense. Out of all that I went through over the last few years the main thing I found, and was shown by spirit, is our inability to love ourselves.

We always doubt ourselves, have little confidence in our abilities and belittle our worth in so many different ways. BUT, that is the journey, that is how we find and understand unconditional love. It is a journey within ourselves to find that capacity to give to ourselves that love that we find so hard to do, even to others because we don’t want to be hurt. It is only when we realise that if we give totally, step past the fear of being hurt, that we realise that it was inside us all the time, we just had to step past that fear in ourselves. An incredible realisation when you see and feel what it means.

So now I give from a totally different place, no more doubts, no more thinking I am not worth it, just do the best that I am able. Yes, I definitely still make mistakes, I’m still human, but that doesn’t give me the excuse any more for anything. I now know within myself that I always give from that place of love within and accept that. It has changed everything. Everything takes on a completely different aspect. All I have learnt in my life has practically been thrown out because it does not function in who I now am. But don’t get me wrong, all that went before was very much needed. Like trainer wheels on your bike, needed to start with but removed as your confidence in self was increased to a point that they were no longer needed.

So is life, the more we understand, the more we integrate our truth within into our everyday lives, the more we let go of what is no longer needed until we reach that lovely place of unconditional love. That is our path. It is the one thing that when we show our love openly, freely and with no fear, it is also returned in like manner. The universe is so in tune with our every move that when it see’s us take that step into ourselves, it will reciprocate in kind. I now see that on a day to day level, and when I do say ‘hang on, why isn’t such and such happening’, I know I’m putting expectations on it, so I let it go.

And slowly as I integrate this into my life I smile a lot more, simply because I am more happy within. People find that a bit confronting. My car breaks down, I smile, I lose money, I smile, because in the middle of all those things…they don’t matter. The most important thing in all this is you, and to learn you are that important in the scheme of things. Give that love to you, you deserve it, totally and unreservedly. Begin the change that will make all the difference in the world. And in return, be that change and give from a place that is now you, and like any relationship when you give something with love, it is returned in many ways.

First take one step…how do you truly feel about yourself within?…then take another…..and don’t worry about people looking at your trainer wheels, they are there for you so that you can find that truth within…this is YOUR journey, no one else’s, this is all about you, believing in yourself and finding that love and the perfect relationship with you. They will be delighted with the end product because of what you will become. Yes, it can be a fearful step, but be gentle on yourself, don’t put so much pressure on yourself that you enhance that fear, and more to the point, show me one child that hasn’t come tumbling down in the process. Even later on with the ‘look ma’, no hands’ that ends up in a heap because they got too cocky.

But that’s ok too. That’s the learning process. The most important bit is that you try, try to become that beautiful being within by being loving to yourself, and in return begin to express that love within that is just waiting to come out.¬†Now…about that first step…are you ready to give that love to yourself?


Belief in the Self within

Belief is a strange creature as it can create the most amazing things in this world by how a person’s belief system resonates within them. Whether it is a belief in science or technology, a belief in nature or a belief in themselves in some way doesn’t really matter. It is only relevant to them. That belief is an integration of what they come to believe due to what they have seen, heard or come to understand from input around them. It will usually only ever get changed in some way due to further input and an understanding on that level. Ie. Belief – The earth is flat, Further Input – First person to sail around the world changes that belief.

So a person’s belief system is always a changing system due to constant input from around them and the understanding of that input. And if most everyone can resonate with that change it becomes an easy piece of input to create that change. (Mind you, I think there may be a few that still think the world is flat, but hey, that’s their belief). And you begin to give to the world from that place, that understanding of what you believe.

Which brings me to something a little more interesting. Belief in the Self within. That is, in itself, a very interesting concept. All other belief has that input that can be verified, whether it is by doing something or a witnessed input that can be repeated to confirm that understanding. But what about that belief of something within. That vague, sometimes profound ‘knowing’ that inside us is this ‘something else’ that we only seem to realise during those deep moments when we are desperately trying to come to terms with ourselves and what we are going through.

Mostly the events that happen to us are very personal. They touch us in exactly the right way to show us this inner place even though it can be so gentle that we think we are imagining things. And even if we are sure of where it came from, everyone around us thinks it’s time we had a long holiday somewhere, the stress is becoming a little too much. There is no belief at this time even if it has come up quite strongly because we have yet to understand it. So this inner ‘knowing’ is kept at a distance…until it happens again. And because this is a second or third or fourth time it has happened, an awareness begins to form because it has been verified and repeated…for you. No one else. Because this is your journey of understanding, your understanding of that ‘knowing’ within….the Self.¬†There’s no one else to confirm it with, so you have to go through this for just yourself. It is all the more stronger because we have judged ourselves in that belief and come past that judgement. We are a hard taskmaster. And in doing this we believe in ourselves for exactly who and what we are becoming.

Now here is the beautiful part. While going through and developing this ‘knowing’, each time it touches on something within, you’re ego is asking do I trust this, is this my truth. And because it is your truth within, and you can feel and sense this truth, you begin to integrate it into who you are. As an example, if you think of someone, and then you out of nowhere change your mind and go somewhere different and suddenly run into them, that begins that belief that something unusual is happening. Your amazed by it but not a 100 percent sure, but it is enough to bring that awareness to the fore. If this begins to happen more, it integrates that belief stronger, until such a time that you truly believe that there is a Self within and because it is giving from a place of truth and love, you accept that and then begin to give from that place because of your belief in the Self. And you begin to love Self because of that unconditional love, trust and faith shown to you. And because of this love, the belief, faith and trust can be developed to such a degree that you can feel it in all your everyday actions. It is who you have become.

And you will know this in others, in whenever you meet someone, by their actions and attitudes and the confidence and integrity in how they give of themselves. They do not force anything or back away from their truth. When a person is IN their truth you will automatically listen when they speak because you can sense this. It may not even be consciously done on your part but if you are aware you will realise that you are listening intently for what they have to say. That is why when you listen to a great teacher, it is only because they have found their truth and are giving from that place. It will work when YOU are speaking your truth because you will have learned to love Self, believe, have faith and confidence within because of that, and also speak with that integrity.

This whole journey is about that condition of feeling alone and separate from everything. It is told in all of our actions in our lives and our struggle to understand just what it is that we feel we are missing. We begin by bringing together our beliefs to try to create a happiness in our lives but always seem to struggle to find this place. But it isn’t until we finally touch that belief within that we begin to¬†love ourselves and in doing so remove that duality of feeling separate and return to that state within of oneness by accepting that love unconditionally of self.

It all begins with the love, belief and acceptance of exactly who you now are….within and without.

The Final Act (or is it?)

Of all the things I’ve spoken about, this would have to be one of the touchiest subjects in the world. We can talk about a myriad of things but when the topic of death rears its head it always touches that place deep, deep within ourselves and brings such a large range of emotions to the surface because of the connection it places on us, and with those that were close to us. And the only way we are able to handle those emotions is usually by blocking them in some way (in the beginning),¬†so that we can still function on a day to day level.

It can be so overpowering because we were so close emotionally, physically and spiritually to someone who has passed away that it takes on such a loss that we feel we will never be able to come to terms with what has happened. The loss of that connection, from many years or even a short time is always measured by how close we were to that person, how we interacted with them and how they made us feel.

And as our lives go on and we deal with these individual losses at different times in our life we never seem to get past how it makes us feel inside. The pain and that loss changes us forever so that we find that our future actions are done with a much more caring and giving space. It gives us a wisdom in knowing that we really are here for a short time so we give from a different space. Things that were important, no longer are. Our attitudes to things take on different meaning. And most importantly, the love from those around us, is accepted in a more understanding and caring way.

It is by being taught and shown how to process this time in our lives that enable us to cope with a time that touches us to the core of who we are. We see it in others at a distance as well as those close to us by how they deal with a situation that seems to test us beyond limits. But eventually it is us, who we are and what we have created ourselves to be, by our beliefs and understanding that make us who we are within, that enable us to come through this time with a strength and faith in the journey that we are on.

Spirit has shown me this journey, this final act that we must all face in our lives so that it may give an understanding, a new way of looking at something that has always been kept at a distance, so that it may take on new meaning. Looked at in such a way that it no longer holds that ‘fear’ for us or our loved ones because of the understanding of what really happens at that time. And most importantly, the ‘knowing’ that where those loved ones now are, is the most wonderful, beautiful place that ever is.

This journey is on the menu above under the title of ‘The Death’ for those that may be interested. May it give you peace and blessings.


The Earthkeepers

(This story below is from a newsletter I received recently. I have always been interested in older generations of ‘truth’ seekers and how they interacted within their society. Thankfully we are moving past attitudes that happened in the past and are able to give from a more open place. But in saying that, the attitude’s we have now have been enabled by those that went before, good and bad, so that we may ‘see’. I think we are now reaching a point of understanding so that we can project that truth and create the world that we all want to live in. Many years ago I read a book by the author of this story, Alberto Villoldo, and found his writing about these Shaman and their teachings to be interesting for myself, and the path that I am on. His teaching from his site I have not personally done. Mark).



For millennia, secret societies of Native American medicine men and women carefully guarded their wisdom teachings and acted as stewards of nature. These “Earthkeepers” existed in many nations and were called several different names; for example, in the Andes and the Amazon they were known as the “Laika.” In 1950, a group of Laika from high in the Andes travelled to an annual gathering of shamans that occurred at the foot of one of the holy mountains. The local natives looked at the ponchos the Laika were wearing and instantly recognized the markings of the high-shaman priests. They realized that this was a group of medicine men and women thought to have vanished after the time of the Conquest. These high-shamans, knowing that humankind was on the verge of a huge upheaval, had finally come out of seclusion to offer all people the wisdom that would sustain us through the great changes we were about to face, which would help us alter our reality and give birth to a better world. The Earthkeepers teach that all of creation-the earth, humans, whales, rocks, and even the stars-is made of vibration and light. Nothing we perceive as material and real exists, other than as a dream that we’re projecting onto the world. This dream is a story, and we believe it to be real … even though it isn’t.

Earthkeeper practices and wisdom teach us how to rewrite our stories about our lives, to do what the shamans call “dreaming the world into being.” These invaluable teachings, known as the four insights, were kept under wraps for a very good reason. With the arrival of the conquistadors (the European pilgrims and immigrants who first looted and plundered and then settled the Americas), the Laika were relentlessly persecuted. Many, particularly the women, were branded witches and sorcerers; and they were imprisoned, tortured, and killed. Their knowledge was considered so dangerous and threatening to the Catholic Church that even now, 200 years after the Spanish Inquisition shut down everywhere else in the world, the Church continues to keep an office active in Lima, Peru. The Office for the Extirpation of Idolatries is run by ¬†the Dominican Order, who, in the 15th century, declared Joan of Arc a heretic and sentenced her to death by burning at the stake.

The Laika realized that this knowledge about human beings’ capacity to manifest our dreams is tremendously powerful and could be easily abused by those lacking ethics. Thus, they concealed the knowledge not only from the conquistadors, but even from most of their fellow indigenous peoples. Nevertheless, they recognized that the four insights belong to all-so when the Laika met a white person who didn’t possess the arrogant, hostile mind-set of the conqueror, they were willing to share their wisdom teachings. Shortly after the Conquest, for instance, they took into their fold a Catholic priest, a Jesuit by the name of Father Blas Valera, who also happened to be a mestizo (half Indian and half Spanish).

Father Valera became initiated into the mysteries of the Laika and wrote four books about their teachings, but unfortunately, three of these tomes mysteriously disappeared during the Inquisition (the fourth remains in a private collection in Italy). Valera claimed that the Inka were as civilized as the Europeans because the Inka were able to write by using a complex system of colored strings with knots tied in them known as Quipus. When Valera’s order discovered what he was up to, they incarcerated him for six years until his death. Why did the Jesuits silence one of their own priests? Why were they so afraid of the wisdom he was recording for the benefit of all? And why did they forbid the ordination of any more mestizo or indigenous priests after Valera was defrocked?

I was another non-Indian taken into the fold of the Laika, initiated into the lineage of the Wisdomkeepers in the Amazon near the Inka city of Cusco. Yet it was never my intention to become part of this lineage-as a medical anthropologist, I was only interested in studying the healing practices of the shamans. As fortune or destiny would have it, I ended up meeting my mentor, don Antonio. He was one of the last of the living Laika, and he took me under his wing and trained me for nearly 25 years. He was a man of many lives-during the day, he was a university professor; in the evenings, a master medicine man. He was born in a high mountain village and worked with the ¬†tools and practices of the 15th century, yet he was conversant in the ways of the 21st. Although he was a descendant of the Inka, he would tell me that the Laika are much older than the Inka, whose culture was masculine and militaristic. The Laika’s teachings were from an earlier time, when the feminine aspect of the divine was recognized. I once told him that I felt lucky to have found him, and he said, “What makes you think you found me, if the Church could not find us for the last 500 years?” ¬†Alberto Villoldo Ph.D.. The Four Insights: Wisdom, Power, and Grace of the Earthkeepers (p. xii). Kindle Edition.
Alberto Villoldo Ph.D.

The Four Winds Society

Dream a little dream!

What do you really want out of life…really? Big house, beautiful wife/husband, children, nice car? Great, but why is it that when I look around and check out all of these great expectations that I hear everyone aiming for, all I find is sadness, anger, frustration¬† or just numbness wherever I look. What is this missing link that very few seem to find? Is it the expectations, because if you put that out there surely your asking to be let down. Many things get in the way.

An opportunity came my way to build a home and get out of the rental market so I jumped at it. Lots of money, overtime coming out my ears, all I had to do was persevere with the very long hours to obtain that ultimate goal of a home.

Four years later, very, very tired and a family that I think remember me as someone they could do things with and enjoy weekends away and have quality time with, had nearly put out a lost and found notice but couldn’t remember what I looked like to put a description on it.

Where did it all go wrong? The great dream of your own home….but at what cost? Yes I believe in making sacrifices but where should you draw the line, when is that line crossed and it becomes a serious subtraction in who you are, what your goals are and probably more importantly how that is affecting those you love?

Had it all, five acres, nice owner built home, started to do the ‘Permaculture’ thing, all going like clockwork. But what was this ‘goal’ that seems to have become lost on the way. It all seems to have been forgotten on the way through or someone had moved the goalposts.

Or had we all become ‘duped’. Some ultimate goal that we all had been taught by our parents, teachers and peers. Some target off in the future that always seems to inch further away for each inch of ground that we cover. And everywhere I looked it seemed that all were coming from this same mould. All trying to find this mythical Shangri La in our own little backyard of peace and happiness.

So when this dream of having it all had gone by the wayside and my journey through life had seriously found me wanting in many areas in my life, I began to reassess and redefine just what it was that I wanted out of life. Spirit had been gently knocking on my door as I came out of my self imposed coma of life and began to show me another way. A way that at first seemed a bit outside the loop and frowned on by those who ‘had it all’.

It began at a friend’s place with a little meditation. When I began it was a journey in itself to shutup and quieten that racket that always seems to be going on ‘upstairs’. The ego is a noisy thing but eventually peace reigned and I began to ‘at first’ just relax and finally begin to de-stress this crazy life that I was in the midst of. And then the fun began. The ‘seeing’ and ‘feeling’ of so many things that at first I thought it was just the mind. My poor head, I thought I had finally lost it with all these things floating around in there but it was only a shock because I had never given spirit a chance.

I slowly realised as time went on that it is a learning experience to ‘see’ and ‘feel’ just who you are, and how spirit relates to exactly who you are so that you may understand what comes through for you. At first it may feel a bit disjointed but as time goes by it becomes more and more relative to you so that it can come across as relevant to where you are within your life. Like anything you do, practice at it will allow it to become easier.

And my life from that point has changed to such a degree that it was like going from black and white to technicolor. Everything changes. Life has meaning. Peacefulness, calm and that little thing called sanity has a room on it’s own with views forever. And as time goes on, and that understanding that spirit imparts, allows more and more realisation for your path. And the dreams you had are now gone, replaced by a new wisdom with no expectations and a love within that goes on and on forever.

In time I found it came easier when I used another technique while asleep. I have put this technique on the menu above under ‘The Dreaming’ for any who are interested. I have since found that this technique, I think, is referred to as Lucid Dreaming.

Have a great day, may your dreams guide you truly.

Stepping into you!

Throughout my life I have switched religious camps, this one, that one or none, but never closed my mind. Thankfully, after much heartfelt thought and a determination to understand, spirit (or God, or the universe), chose to have a chat with me. I now see my Truth. That in itself was my journey. I now pass this on within this site and my blog. It isn’t a be all or end all, it is just my journey. There are many,¬† many paths. Even the unbeliever of anything has their path. You cannot know love without hate, happiness without sadness, otherwise with what do you compare and be able to ‘know’ these things.

I can tell you to not put your hand in the fire because it will burn, and you will understand this. But the day that you actually do burn your hand…all changes…then you DO ‘know’ that truth for exactly what it is and what it means to you. It is just like love, until it is felt you will never understand or ‘know’ its beauty. We put out to God or the universe what we believe…and God or the universe in their perfection give exactly back to us for our benefit so that we may learn that wisdom that is exactly for just who we are.

It can be a rough ride but those things are the things that make the biggest impact on us until we understand and take those things within. When you finally see, feel and understand this, all judgement ceases (and I always thought that was some righteous throwaway line), and you finally begin to see what is meant by ‘unconditional love’ because it shows that we all have our own individual, unique journeys. They all have their good and their bad bits. That’s how we learn. And it occurs when you are ready, within yourself, to ‘look’ and ‘want’ to understand your truth.

What gives you that glow within when you do something, the feeling of love when you help the one or the many. But foremost, when you finally begin to love yourself, give to yourself, then and only then do you give from that place and God or the universe give exactly that back, and your life begins to change and you attract more and more on that level.

Do you think this is not truth, then try it…if you can drop the fear of what others think of you, the fear of feeling silly and the fear of failure…then you are ready to be your truth, ready to begin the other side of your journey. You have done the lower emotions of anger, hate, fear, non trusting etc, felt and ‘know’ that part of who you were. Now it is time to feel and ‘know’ the next part. The part where you ‘understand’ because you ‘can’ compare to the other things that you have already done, and now begin to truly understand within with the wisdom that you have gained.

To continue this story I have put a new menu item above ‘The Truth’ for any who may be interested.

Have a great day!

Unconditional Love!

This particular journey that spirit took me on was one of the most incredible experiences I’ve ever had. It took me somewhere that I didn’t realise existed. It has always been there, just waiting until I had reached a point in my life to understand something within myself so that I can then start to give from another place. A place that encompasses who I am and what I’d been through and how I integrate that realisation within myself and finally project out into the world that understanding of the same.

But a part of that journey that we all take entails the building of fears and walls from many things, especially from those we love, as it is how they have learnt and unintentionally passed these things on to us as we grow up. And in doing so we eventually must face these things on our path so that we may become the beautiful soul that we are. It brings much wisdom on this journey as we are shown all parts of the spectrum that is ‘unconditional love’ to finally reach a point of understanding that will change us forever. Change us in such a way that all that went before will seem to be a dream.

I have put this story on the menu above as ‘The Love’. I hope it can give you the understanding that it gave me, and the change that it made to my life so that you too can see and feel from a place that is just waiting for when you are ready.

With love and blessings on your journey,



Fear is an important part of our lives…it keeps us alive…but like everything in the 21st century we ‘overindulge’, and create something we don’t want, you know, turn something the size of a mouse into an elephant, just waiting to crush us with one false move. Now don’t get me wrong, this fear is very important, it keeps us in a space which allows our fears to seriously push our buttons and even make us do some of the most crazy things that usually embarrass us to the core.

But it is needed, because like all things in life, unless we are taken emotionally to a high point of fear or love or any of those emotions…it doesn’t leave an impact on ‘us’. We fob it off and forget it because it has no meaning. So when a fear raises it’s head, here is your chance to look within, feel what it means, and most of all…find the culprit that has you dancing to it’s tune.

What? You don’t like to waltz? Then get out your dancing shoes and show ‘it’ how YOU really want to dance. YOU make the moves. Be brave and step into the tune of YOUR music and make it follow YOU. Better still, get another partner. This partner of fear has become boring and to be quite honest you’ve quite had enough of following something that continuously leaves you exhausted, emotionally tired and drained.

Remember the last time you really danced, it was great, left you tired but so happy within yourself that you could do it forever. Find that person within…be that person…and recreate what it was to have that person back in your life. Have faith in you. It’s there, always has been. Take it back, it belongs to you.

Now, where’s a dance on tonight?

Added a new title on the menu (The Fear) above for any who are interested.

Have a great day, may your sun be always smiling!

Choosing a Spiritual Path!

Little did I know what I had asked of myself, when I reached a certain point in my life, in wanting to know my Truth, my Path, my reason for being here. We go through so many things in this life to find ourselves, understand our journey and integrate that within to create that idealised something that will make us whole. And after a lot of tripping, stumbling and sometimes blindly finding apparent dead ends, life shows a gift, a light at the end of a long tunnel to give us encouragement, hints at an end, a push to finally gain an understanding for what we had been searching for.

It was when I realised that those bits and pieces were there, that I really wanted to go further and try to understand the why. There was definitely something there. I knew that because of the ‘things’ that were beginning to happen in my life. The synchronicities, the events, the knowing of things that were increasing as time went on. I wanted to understand so that I could apply this to who I was and how I gave from that place within.

So I decided I ‘needed’ some assistance because I really wanted to know. After some searching I chose my assistant and went out and bought a lovely piece of Moldavite to help me to ‘listen’ during meditation or a dream state and better perceive just what spirit was giving me and how I could use that information to be in a better place. At the time I did not fully ‘know’ how it would help me, I just researched as much as I could and it appeared to resonate in what I was trying to do.


Moldavite meaning:

This highly treasured stone is widely effective in metaphysical practice. It accelerates one’s spiritual path. It¬†evolves the spirit.

Some uses of Moldavite are:

  • Clears blockages
  • Awakens the intelligence of the heart
  • Disconnects one from unhealthy attachments
  • Makes dreams more vivid and meaningful
  • Increases synchronicities
  • Spiritual catalyst

Sources of Moldavite:

Moldavite is found around the Bohemian Plateau in the Czech Republic, and is believed to be the result of an ancient meteorite impact.


WORD OF WARNING:¬†I can put this here now to help any that want to follow, but as I said in the first paragraph, little did I realise in what I had asked of myself. The strength of this stone took me a little off guard to say the least and the impact of what I had asked was a lot bigger than I had realised.¬†I had affectively asked spirit to ‘open’ the shutters, I was ready to look inside to see the truth and in that understanding, give from that place.

I did not realise that I had just asked spirit to get ME…to look at ME. All the faults, all the fears, all the emotional turmoil that made up who I was and how I looked at the world. Being in a space, of thinking I was going along nicely, and I could handle anything that came along was very quickly put to the test and placed right in front of me. I was given the understanding of just what I was actually doing and how that was blocking me in so many ways. And not only that but what I needed to do to remove those walls of fear that I had built over many years of just trying to cope with life. It is a very ‘in your face’ journey and would seriously test my mettle, but in doing so, the outcome is beautiful beyond description. I would then know exactly who I was.

Initially all I wanted was to be able to give from a good place. But I could not do that till I understood ME. And why I was being ME with all those walls. Here I was giving all that lovely advice to people everywhere from what I felt, which was truth, but not doing it within. I needed to ‘know’ it within. It’s like another Truth, I can ask you not to put your hand in the fire, and you will understand it, but you will not know it truthfully till the day you ‘do burn your hand’. Then and only then do you really understand it’s Truth of the pain and agony it truly entails.

So after each fear, that I had studiously tried to avoid for years, was brought to my attention, I took a deep breath, and slowly stepped into my fears, even some that I really didn’t realise were there. It’s amazing how we disguise them or deny their existence. This has released so many things to such a degree that I’m so much more relaxed, handling everything from a totally different place. And I now step into and live my Truth instead of ducking and weaving, afraid of what others will think of me or not wanting to hurt someone when my untruth is actually causing more problems.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not clean as a whistle, it’s a learning process, that’s why we are here. As I have said before, if it was easy it would not have the impact on us that is needed. Anything that we must struggle with and endure makes an impression on who and what we are. In doing this we gain understanding and that is added to the wisdom within. If it was easy, we would forget it in a week and probably make the same mistake again down the track.

The interesting part of this journey is, as you become more ‘aware’, you actually step back within yourself and let more and more go. From within yourself you become more your Truth and give from that place. In the beginning you go looking for your Truth until finally you realise it has always been within. But the first part of the journey is required so that when you finally reach this point, you then let it go because you now understand within, and begin the rest of your journey by now giving from that place. You don’t have to go looking for anything anymore, it has always been there, just waiting for you to make that realisation. And like Buddha, you search and search looking for enlightenment, and finally realise it has always been with you. And you then let it all go, and everything changes.

And the incredible thing is, you will not understand this fully until you are ready within. You begin to understand and start to look at YOU, and truly want to be in that space that is always there. You begin to remove those fears and walls that are a part of your journey, and in doing so, find the person that has always been within. And once they are released you are no longer putting those fears out to the universe, no longer saying ‘look at me, this is me full of fears’ and attracting exactly that to you so that you can learn to understand those fears and let them go. You are now coming from a completely different place. Relaxed, calmer, happier…and give from that place, so the universe then gives ‘that’ back to you instead.

Like everything in this world there are extremes. Yin-Yang, up-down, black-white. This is no different. You must know one to truly know the other, appreciate it, understand it and then give from there. And it’s one amazing journey, but, as you begin to understand, you let more and more go. For me it has reached a point that when I do something silly, get angry or one of a million other things….I just let it go. Feel it within for the experience it was but don’t take it on board as an anchor to create some other fear or wall down the track.

Those things no longer have the impact that they once had, because I no longer need to learn these things. I am now ‘aware’ of the Truth of my journey. And to add something even more amazing, everything changes…you begin to look at things differently…and I mean differently…you appreciate everything more…nature, the weather, people, events…and the human urge to judge disappears because you realise they are on their journey, you are now past that…and if anything you begin to help from that place. It truly changes your entire outlook on everything and you begin to understand from a much deeper place. A place that I can only describe as being embraced by unconditional love. You are becoming that unconditional love. This is who you now are, and now give from that place.

So…if you are ready…have a look inside…are you ready for YOU?

Fathers Day (Australia)!

What a day for Fathers everywhere, yesterday was a great day! But what does it really mean to all those children out there. Many have fantastic fathers who in their own way have lived their life in such a way that they are looked up to and cherished for all that they do. But some children, even on into adulthood, only remember the pain and anguish of being a part of a very disjointed family with the father figure being someone that was only remembered with loathing and hatred.

This I did, and only remembering the bits that I loathed my father for. Locking them in place so I always had something to rely on so I could always bring it out when I needed it in my life. Then one day a lovely friend of mine, while I was in the throes of a rant and rave about my father, casually mentions to me that, ‘are you happy with who you are?’, to which I replied ‘yes!’, she then went on to say, ‘if your father wasn’t the person that he was…you wouldn’t be the person that you now are…so which bit do you want to change?’.

I was stunned! I blustered and bumbled and then got angry. How dare she say…well, what was she saying…that I should ‘accept’ who my father was…no bloody way…I’ve invested a life time of hating that man…there was no way I was going to forgive that, not this side of hell freezing over.

For days after it I was angry, I couldn’t believe the turmoil it had created. And after I had cooled off after a while I began to realise something. She was right, and that got me angrier! I didn’t want to deal with it but the reality kept knocking on my door. She was totally right. I am who I am, because he was who he was. And he was only who he was because of how HE was brought up and only knew how to bring me up the same way. My dad was a part of HIS environment just as I was.

So I had (notice I say ‘had’, later on you realise that until you say ‘want’, only then does it truly happen), to¬†forgive him…AND forgive myself for judging him for all those years. And I then realised something else. I was only hurting myself, keeping myself angry, keeping myself sad, keeping myself in a state of hurt and pain. And also realising I am only really hurting myself and those around me. Because I’m in that space of hurt and anger, I’m giving from that place, and that’s what everyone around me can feel.

And then the penny really dropped. I had also brought my children up the same way. You don’t really realise it until much time has passed and you ‘see’ the actions in their lives that imitate you.¬†On¬†how they are treating you because of how you’ve brought them up.¬†How they begin to have their own children and the attitudes they use to bring them up. Even now I find it difficult to be close to them and even say those three little words ‘I love you’. All because of what I was taught and how hard it was to cross that wall that had been built up over the years which was now becoming very evident.

I began to feel guilty of all the things that I had passed on to them. The actions that cause so much pain and hurt and beguile their lives in so many ways. But after many years, and the understanding that life and the wisdom that you find along the way have opened your mind, you begin to realise that this is a journey of understanding so that I can now give from a much better place because of all that I have felt, understood and integrated into who I am.

No, the guilt isn’t an excuse, nor is it an open license to be a disjointed father. I now try to get past that wall by pushing myself past that fear of being hurt from someone I love by just being who I want to be and giving from that place. Yes, for a while it felt strange because I’ve never had that type of relationship with anyone but even I could feel the release from me AND my children because I was trying to be in that place.

An awakening is an understanding. An understanding gives a realisation. A realisation then allows you to change who and what you are. Now is that time to take in a deep breath, let it out, and be who you’ve now become. Release whatever is no longer needed in your life, the anger, the hurt and anything else that ties you to whatever you once were. Cry your eyes out, for it in itself is a great healing and a beautiful way to release what is no longer needed within your life.

Now look in the mirror and see what you have become. Love you for who you are. You are an incredible creation. You build on that creation every day. Be that creation. And be proud of what you have endured, but above all, understand the wisdom that it has given you and integrate that into who you are and build further.

My father’s day has a new meaning these days even though my dad passed away many years ago. It no longer drags me into that hurt and pain even though I do still remember it. The important bit is to just try to be your truth. What you know within is a part of you and how you want to be so that you can give from that place. A place that is changed and makes you feel at ease.

So for all of those fathers out there, who were once children themselves, and all the children out there, who will one day become fathers, eventually you will be able to forgive the actions, let go of the hurt and pain and realise that in all those actions is someone who from their learning¬†didn’t know how to love, how to show their emotions and by that began a¬†¬†journey to find the understanding that was missing in their lives. You were a part of that, and in that, with great love,¬†you have contributed to their becoming whole once again.

Sometimes it may not seem like any change can be seen, but within it will be very different. They may not be able to express it, for change can be a frightening thing, but all it takes is one step, spoken from the heart, and the change will begin. Done with integrity and the truth within, that awakening to a new you will start.

To all the fathers and the children within, have a beautiful day, and may it be with the love and understanding of a journey that is always done from the heart!