Loving ourselves (unconditional), is our natural state, it is only the fears and walls that we build that block it. And as each fear or wall is removed we begin to ‘feel’ on a much different level.
It becomes easier and easier to understand and have much empathy for another, because of the love we actually give ourselves BECAUSE we have looked into those fears, had the courage to face them, and once understood we release them, they no longer hold us in the patterns that we give them.
Most people do not understand what it means to love ourselves. When we love another it is built with so many expectations (and I might add, a needed lesson like any other), because we look for beauty, attitudes, strength, and those other things like money, security etc. But when we give love to ourselves….there is no expectation, it is an unconditional love.
We don’t first look for something so that it is accepted when we face our fears, there are no conditions when we finally gain the courage to look within, see our pain for what it is, and finally understand what had kept our walls in place and then by removing them in that understanding, give that love to ourselves within that healing.
We remove the duality of feeling a low sense of self worth (by isolating ourselves by building walls to keep it at bay), and finally accept ourselves for exactly who we are. That is unconditional love, and not an expectation within miles.
Once we give ourselves that unconditional love, we then give from that place. It isn’t until we love ourselves that we truly can love another, with no expectations.
The following is a very profound and beautiful verse that a lovely lady (Christy) shared with me as a guest post on Michelle’s Lipstick and Laundry blog:
The Uses of Sorrow
(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)
Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.
(by Mary Oliver, from Thirst, Beacon Press, Boston, 2006)
And yes, that box full of darkness has great meaning. We cannot know that unconditional love until we know conditional love, it has great purpose.
Be brave, be strong and believe in you…for through that darkness is a beauty beyond measure. It is the truth of what you really are.