Tag Archives: within

The Walls of Jericho!

Yes, those walls of Jericho were an amazing sight to the enemies of those times. Never to be breached as they were so well built to only allow friendly passage and not those who were against what those within believed and lived. Well, until the spirit of God arrived within the Ark to bring it tumbling down.

A little like those walls we build within, to stop that invader that would dare attack us, try to invade OUR space and force their ways on us. And to test whether those walls are there for the right purpose. Enable those that think like us free access, and refuse entry to those that hurt us and cause pain.

And those invaders are there to do exactly that. They are showing you your fears and walls that we all build to protect ourselves, and they have great purpose.

As you test those walls you realise why they are there, and understand that they were your only way of protecting yourself from what you felt was a very hard, unloving and hurtful experience in your life, so you put up a wall so you no longer get hurt.

And that is usually done as a child when your coping strategies were very immature because you were so young, so a wall goes up because you know no other way to protect yourself, and you then begin to avoid those situations like the plague. But when you begin to realise why you put those walls up and you start to see those coping strategies for what they are and how they are blocking your life, you begin to understand how that blockage is affecting you. And in that understanding that comes from your spirit within, after many, many years, you finally release something that feels like the weight of the world (and to you, it is), has finally been lifted and everything from that moment on changes forever. The change is so huge that you feel a little lost in the beginning because you have never been in this place before. Your life has never had such freedom and an ability to stop and smell the roses….literally.

We don’t realise that this fear has been so integrated to our lives that we are always ‘on guard’ in everything we do…from when we get up of a morning, working, playing or even scratching our nose, it has always been a part of who you were.

Now you are free, and it can almost feel like you are in shock because of that release. But it will be like no shock you have ever felt before. And when reached, you slowly make choices for you for the first time…and not from a place of fear where you are always second guessing yourself so that you don’t have to face that fear. It is a magical place that freedom, as it gives you unfettered access to that beautiful thing inside your heart….you…the true you, that has wanted to escape to a happier place forever. And now you are finally there.

As you release that fear you are no longer giving from a place of fear. We actually project those fears out from us everyday.

As an example, and this is me personally, I always gave to a lady with everything that I was….I would take them out, give them flowers, be courteous by pulling chairs out for them to sit etc. I would smother them in love….but that was the problem, after a while they would hold their hands up and say ‘whoa, that’s lovely but please just slow down a bit’. And I would be all offended, thinking I was being rejected for giving that love. I would point the finger and say ‘it is their fault, how could they possibly not want to be loved’. And because all my relationships ended like this I would always think that they had been hurt by some other man and found it hard to accept that love from some one. Any excuse in fact, bar the one that mattered.
Because I felt rejected from my parents as a child, and felt that total fear of being unloved by the very people that I looked up to and loved, I would bury my loves, with love, so that I WOULDN’T BE REJECTED.

And there lies the rub of my journey. I projected my fear onto all those that I loved. I wanted to be loved so badly, and not be rejected, that I led with my fear.
It is such a subtle thing these fears, and we do the most incredible things to not go through them, not realising that they are there for all to see…AND that they actually attract exactly what we need to go through them. How many fears have you avoided? None, zip, nada!

With great love the universe wants you to understand…you. And within that understanding come back to your truth. Not a wobbly version that is trying to avoid the pain that is carried within your heart for what seems like forever. But the real you within that is a very beautiful and loving person entirely. And as you break free and release that fear, and those negative feelings about yourself that go with it, you finally find that thing that you have always been looking for. That journey of seeking to find that ‘happiness’ somewhere and finally be at peace.

And it can be found…where it has always been, but hidden behind a wall of fear. That fear has great purpose, for it has led you to find this place…and finally understand, and appreciate the beauty that is within each and every one of us BECAUSE of what we have been through.

You are a beautiful soul…something that shines out forever. Believe in that, for at each turn in life a little more is set free and you begin to shine a little brighter each time to stand in your truth and release what you know is no longer you…and be that love that is always there.

Your walls of Jericho will crumble at a shout from you, and a determination within to seek the fear that holds those walls up. They will crumble in an instant when you find that truth that is you…and release you from their bondage forever, to finally be set free.

Curtain Call!

I have just read a great piece, En garde by candidkay, about our journey through our relationships and the choices we make in trying to come to terms with the decisions we have made in our life. Stay or not stay, go and live in the unknown or stay and put up with…um, something that is not so bad…I think.

These can be one of the most difficult things to admit to…let alone face. And even if we do the dreaded question comes up about our self worth. ‘Can I do this’ and ‘maybe I deserve this’ and our fears running backwards and forwards arguing relentlessly for a reprieve.

But it is part of the magic, to realise ourselves and begin that trek one step at a time to find that beauty that is inside us all. Bring out that confidence that IS in there, but only seems to peek from behind the curtain occasionally.

It is in finding that truth within that finally brings forth a new found confidence, and more than that, a beginning of understanding that in doing so you are starting a love affair with the one person in the world that means the most. You!

When you finally understand that, you begin to build within that confidence and courage because you are worth all that, and more. And as you step into that truth within, you begin to give out that confidence and love that you are beginning to build…AND…begin to attract that same energy because that is how it all works.

Give with an integrity and truth and that is what you attract right back.

The universe, in this, can be seen in its workings by what you are attracting. With great love it gives you exactly what is needed so that you may go past your fears and that unloving that you give yourself, until eventually you begin to see the journey IS all about you, and what you require to find that beauty within.

Once that understanding is reached everything begins to change, you realise self is very important in your journey and slowly you begin a path that will be outside what the world thinks is normal, but inside you will see and feel the change and the truth of what you have been through and what you now wish to become.

And the smiles begin, because you have seen and felt what it took to get here…and your self worth is slowly taking this worlds last curtain call for the last time, and beginning a new call for you.
Mark

Where is your love!

Giving love to another will touch that person within, and change them.
Who will then touch another, and change them also.
And as this change goes on and on, eventually this change will come full circle and be expressed as love back to you…but changed in its journey by the love expressed differently by each individual.
Each individual helping another in their journey, loving in their own unique way.
Graduating in its wisdom by the many emotional ways of pain, anger, fear, gratitude, faith and love that is experienced in all walks of life.
To eventually reach that beauty of unconditional love, that place within when all is finally completed.
No more karma, experiences or lessons needed….perfection within itself.

For each and every heartfelt motion given from within, is for you, even though it is given to another. And in its perfection, when giving love to another, it raises you even closer to that love within, opens your heart from the fears and blockages of life, and with a glow unmatched by anything else in this world, brings out much that is hidden….your truth within. Those things that you only ever say to one that you love and respect, to let them feel that truth within that is the true you, so that they may feel the beauty that is inside, and know that it is with great love that you are sharing something so deep within.

It is a connection that we all yearn for, a connection that only occurs a few times in our lives but drives us ever onward to find that thing within that always seems to elude us. But it is only when we can remove those walls of life around our hearts that we can finally see the truth that has been within us all the time. It is a needed journey, so that we can appreciate what is really there, a journey to understand what that love really means, and bring us to that final acceptance of self.

When understood, this is the perfection of love, all else is but a guide.

Where is your love for self?

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This came to me after reading a quote from the lovely lady from Soul Gatherings. Thank you Theresa!

Spirit in the Sky

To a beautiful lady with the heart of a healer.
I was blessed with the sharing of Ali’s life and being shown a truth that was her journey.
In memory of one of God’s healers, and nature’s gladiators.

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Spirit in the Sky

She invited me to see, to share that love within

Showed me her beauty, the further I walked in

The caring of all creatures, whether human or of fur

She would not go past, test the meaning that was her

Seen the laughter and the fun, each invitation that was made

Making sure our comfort, blessing us with her shade

And even in that care, an occasional tear would spill

To show the world that empathy, a climb to take that hill

And along that sacred journey, to find what it meant

A glow began to form, a love heaven sent

As slowly she did find, a heart that could heal

Giving to another, a love that they feel

And the light she did shine, given with a care

Always with a smile, an understanding she did share

For all along this path, as her truth did fly

Ali had now found, that spirit in the sky

_______________________

Always near as her love is a part of who we are.

Mark

The Safety of Awareness

Such a beautiful world. So balanced in all its ways. Yes, even the mistakes have purpose, for now we swear upon our hearts that we will never do it again, like so many other things in our lives. But we do….why?

It seems we have this insatiable need to have control of our lives, be in a place where we can handle most of what is thrown at us. And that ‘security’ is the basis of how we can face the world, even though we still find that many things throw us off balance. And we react to those things because they are the core issues of what we are afraid of, even if we don’t see them clearly all the time.

We spend so much time hiding in fear from the bully up the street, building and building this 30 foot monster until the very thought of going out the front door is abhorrent. But the bully is still the kid up the street that only knows that control of his life by what he thinks is ‘his’ safety. And probably totally forgotten about you unless you happen to be his current weaker opponent to make him feel better about himself.

And as our lives go on we build these safety places, places where we feel in control….falling in love, marriage, a home and even some ‘munchkins’ to build that inner peace (ok, the kids may be pushing that a bit 🙂 ).

But in amongst this we get tested. A button pushed here and there, just so we can feel the other side, see where we are not feeling that safety we are trying to build. In general we go through it and feel relieved that we have passed through this and can move on.

But sometimes we really get something prodded so that we are losing that safety zone. Something won’t let go and reaches a point where we have no choice but to face it and go through, what we feel, is one of the most stressful times of our lives. A life issue…divorce, break ups, a death and even a job loss can take us down this path…because they all point to that one thing inside us all that we all avoid as much as possible…that negativity, our sense of worth in whatever form it takes, about ourselves that has been hammered home all our lives by, originally, those we love, but kept alive by those we attract to us.

Attract I say…yes…how many people have you pointed at and said, “she/he is doing it again”, “they never learn”, “I can’t believe this”, about someone else who is going through, for the tenth time, something that you can see is not right and know the outcome because you have been there. But that is the whole point, it is now no longer your fear, it doesn’t have that fearful hold on you any longer because you have gone through it (or never did because you had no fear of it).

But again, that is the entire point. Each and every time you understand that ‘knowing’ inside because you have felt that pain, that terror of going through something that has tested you beyond what you think you could handle, has raised your awareness, given you the wisdom to see and understand that what was underneath was something that you alone had built to protect yourself, but in truth blocked you from seeing the truth inside. The understanding after you go through this is huge.

And it has been given to you in this way for one reason only…to show you the beauty that is you. Underneath all the uproar and that feeling of, “I can’t do this”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m going to lose it”, you show the strength that is really inside and you DO go through it, and finally see the truth of what you are inside…and you begin to stand in that awareness. You reach a point of, “I’m not doing this any more”, “I’m worth more than this”, “I deserve more than this”, and you slowly begin to break free.

Yes, it does take time, but that time is needed so that this very situation retests you, and each time you reinforce those words of worth and deserving a little more. Always more tears and even anger. But this anger is because your heart is asking you step past what you thought WAS your safety zone. That place that kept you in control of where you were at. But it was removed and the change was a serious asking of yourself to step out of that safety and move into a scary and strange world, one where you have never been before. And you will even find that you hold on desperately to this situation as it crumbles around you, out of the fear of losing that safety. Especially if it is a love for another.

Those people we give our hearts to are the one safety anchor in our lives that we think we can rely on forever. But it is also the one place that tears our hearts out. And it must or we will never step through those fears in our lives. We will use our love as a shield, to not see something within ourselves we don’t wish to, or even distract us so that we think everything is ok. But it is the power of that love that will take us on that journey within. It eventually makes us see that place we have avoided and suddenly our safe place is gone.

It is a tough journey, but it must be or we would never face what is buried inside. And after all is said and done, we do begin to love ourselves because of it. We are more deserving, we are worth so much more, and this event will bring this realisation and bring us closer to that heart within. Even the anger of being hurt and what we feel by being treated so poorly by those we loved will slowly subside as we realise that we are in a better place, much wiser, much more loving, because we have loved ourselves more and no longer need our love as a shield to protect us.

Our love for self is enough, we no longer need to rely on another’s love to be safe. And that understanding then allows us to give from that place of self love…and attract the same. We no longer ‘need’ to be in a relationship. We begin to understand that by loving ourselves we naturally give that love out. If we are angry, fearful or unhappy…that is what we give out and attract to us. When we love ourselves truly, go past our fears, we then give from an unconditional place, and attract that unconditional love….and no longer attract a situation where it asks us to go through something within.

And as that awareness grows, the more shadows in your life you go through and the more light you let in, the more that unconditional love shines out!

May your heart find that awareness.

Mark

Emotional Intimacy!

Ok, I’m now going to explain to you something that we all tend to unintentionally avoid. A little thing you can do to change that ‘who you are within’, and create a space that in most peoples lives has been missing due to the rush, rush of life. Or as most people come to realise, the person that they are with, or even themselves, have been raised in a way or been through something that takes this part of their lives away and is replaced with a wall to stop the fear or pain of being hurt or rejected. Or even do not understand its meaning due to never being shown how to express themselves in this way.

Now I’m going to ask you to do something very simple (and to those that know how to…ask yourself, ‘do you really’). I want you to steal 30 minutes from your hectic life, grab your partner and go lay down together (and I mean together, not you on the lounge and your partner on the floor, I want contact here) somewhere comfortable. Bed, lounge, hammock or just out on the grass somewhere (which is so much more grounding and will connect you much closer). And fully clothed thank you!!!

Now I want you to do the unthinkable…I want you to just hold and cuddle each other for 10 minutes and DO NOT talk (especially about any problems, the days uproar, the kids or the stock market). Talking does need to be done BEFORE you get to this position as it will remove any stress, tension or worry that is bothering you. Then you can lay down and not have this need to connect verbally, which is a bonding in itself, but I need your undivided attention on you and your partner and not a mind scrambling trying to sort out a problem.

At the 10 minute mark there should be this thing called ‘relaxation’. But more than that, you have now (and especially if you haven’t done this for a long time), just re-inserted yourselves into each others most intimate zone. (Yes, I probably could have worded that a little better). That connection is something that life tends to keep you ‘on guard’ for, and only a select few are allowed in that place. But life and it’s ‘zoom, zoom’ gradually distracts us and we seem to get further and further from that place that if you really think about it, is so much more inviting than the stress of everyday life. It’s a balance so that life isn’t all work and no play.

Now here is the hard bit. I want you both to touch each other. And NO, I don’t mean sexually! As a matter of fact I want you to be emotionally intimate, not physically. Just very gently, as the urge takes you, I want you to just lightly brush or touch your partners back or neck or hair or whatever you feel is that connection that shows your partner that you are enjoying the energy that is going on between you. Now here is the even harder bit. It can be a very fine line between gently touching someone to express how you are feeling…and not become aroused by the sensation that is developing between you. As a matter of fact it is a very fine line and normally it would be a way of really connecting from there to a very physical encounter which is also fine. But I want you to be strong and resist that temptation.

Over that 30 minute period you may start or stop that touching and go through different feelings and sensations as you hold one another. But at the end you will realise you have gone somewhere very different to what you are used to. Many of us start off this way but eventually reach that point of wanting to do the ‘tango’ and share something on a physical level. And that is fine. But this level of emotional intimacy is something that many of us can find to be quite difficult, due to our upbringing, life as we have experienced it or even many of those fears that won’t allow us to ‘open’ and share at this level. And especially the men. And that is not meant as an insult guys, we are generally brought up to be hard and ‘get on with life and don’t sweat the small stuff’, so that this level of intimacy is very foreign. Whereas the ladies are brought up much more emotionally connected and can express it a little easier.

And that is why we are physically intimate because we don’t know how to, or don’t want to become emotionally intimate. And I do think the ladies miss this type of connection guys. When they want to be cuddled, it is for this intimacy, not the grope, grope, c’mon let’s go into the bedroom. Trust me, if you build this type of trust it will change that connection for you both. You might be pleasantly surprised 🙂

Be gentle with whoever your partner may be as we all have ‘bits’ tucked away inside us and they can be a difficult thing to broach. Take it slowly and at the end you will realise that you have connected on a much stronger level with someone because you have established a very real trust because you have allowed someone into that personal zone and allowed them to see and feel the heart within. For many it isn’t easy because the one thing that this connection does is bring their hearts up to the surface, and in doing so may bring with it the many emotions that are kept close to their hearts on a day to day basis. It can sometimes bring tears…and fears, because with great love you have shown that trust. It is not something given lightly so be gentle with the emotions that are being shared. It can be hard to do, but remember, this is all about breaking down those walls and helping each other to share something that has great meaning to you both.

And even for those that are single, we all need to share our emotional intimacy with those that are special to us, whether they be friends, family or sometimes even strangers. To share our innermost feeling with someone is a healing within itself. It brings a closeness that our hearts need to share occasionally so that the power of those words can help us clear and know that another is connecting with us. And I have seen such beautiful heart connections with so many people and their pets. Now that is unconditional love. I defy one of us to express ourselves so fully with a sloppy grin and a tail that wags forever 🙂

The heart has great power, but it also is built from the most beautiful, gentle things in our life. From giving a flower with love, to the smile of another. All of it has great meaning and touches us all in such profound ways. We must return to that place within to keep our balance, emotionally and physically or we allow the things of this world to keep us away from what has true meaning in this life.

Enjoy that connection, that touch of life that brings a smile within, and you will see you and your partner (furry or otherwise), connecting on a whole new level. Namaste

The View From Within Here!

And then one day I saw it…and realised all our journeys have great purpose. I turned a corner and died to the things of man, but realised that those things are made of great beauty. The pain, the emotional turmoil that we endure, all take us to that one place we constantly search for in our hearts….unconditional love.

But it can only be found by being born into this world with all that it is, and finally see ourselves, our fear’s, our journey and the love that we understand as each mountain top is reached. We will always attract what is required for that understanding, and then one day we are there…and everything can be seen for the truth that it is…and our hearts open, totally, fully, and we then give from such a beautiful place.

I no longer see what is on the surface of things, because I now see below. I no longer judge another, as I now see purpose. And because of that understanding, I now stand in my truth and give from that place within…unconditionally…for I am no longer chained by the fears of this world!

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We begin this journey totally open, innocent and ready for such an imprint from our surroundings. This time is a barrage of emotions and learning, the good and the bad, to create a journey that will test us so that we may find that balance that is in all things.

We see a life of struggle and pain over many years, and even those things that many think small, like a silly argument, build and create so that you may reach great understanding. Slowly and over a great time we poke and prod to see a way out of those things that keep us bound. And finally after much heartache and agony, a crack appears. But it’s like no other crack…each time you look through it all you can see is the fear you avoid, that one thing that you ignore, hide and never speak it out loud, lest it come to life. But the pain from your journey allows no other path, and in trepidation you finally can no longer stay in your circumstances any longer and take that dreaded step that you think will be the end of your sanity.

And at that moment your practically in shock. You’ve done the one thing that you thought you would never do. You burst into tears, scream and even fall into a heap. Your mind is going at a hundred miles an hour. But you’ve done it! You’ve gone through the one thing that you thought would never happen. And you realise…you didn’t die, you haven’t totally lost it (even though it feels very crazy still), and you suddenly understand…you’ve never been in this position before. You have always had that ‘fear’ leading you around in everything that you do. This is virgin territory, never before circumstances where now YOU are in control and not the fear.

And it does take time to get used to. That fear has been there most of your life, it was a part of who you were. Now you are free…released from its servitude and are able to take the reigns and steer whatever path you wish. That in itself can be a little disconcerting to start with, but don’t put expectations on yourself. Give yourself time to adjust to this new place within. And above all be gentle on yourself. That is a very long time to be in a jail from a fear you’ve held within.

Looking back we see those things we’ve been through, but they no longer hold us at bay. No longer constantly in our minds because we’ve stepped through the fear that they created and released us from it’s bondage. Wiser and with more love for ourselves because we now understand that we are worth so much more than those fears and have become more confident in ourselves because of that. This is our healing of that duality that separates us from within at birth, the spirit and the ego, and the journey to find that balance of the two. And we gradually understand ourselves each time we go through those upheavals in our lives, we’ve been through many years of the one side of that balance, it is now time to feel and understand the other and no longer be driven by the fears of the ego. And when we see others go through what we have now experienced, our compassion will arise because we know and understand their journey. We understand that pain and suffering and with great love will help another to find their heart within and see what you now see.

Each time we respect and love ourselves more and more as we go through these things. We realise those many things that initially gave us a feeling of not being good enough or belittled were not true. We ARE good enough, and more than that, we are loving ourselves because we now realise it has taken great courage and love to face this journey and accept just who we are within. Exactly for who we are, warts and all. What is on the outside, in truth, has no meaning at all. For what has been created in the heart…is everything. And everyone is going through their journey, in their own way, to realise that truth within, just as you did. Judgement of another is only built on our own fears. Once released they no longer drive us.

That freedom is the compassion we now use, and is the beginning of that unconditional love we all seek. It is in us all but blocked by our constant struggle by those fears that drive us. When released it allows that compassion to shine through, and as each of those fears are removed there is less and less holding you to this world…and more and more love being expressed by that freedom. And the spirit within starts to shine through, and you truly begin to see much purpose in this journey.

Then you too will understand, and be what you truly are within, that unconditional love that is inside us all!

Life!


I sing a song, a song of life,
a rhythm from deep within
Ancient for its energy,
a tale of where we’ve been
Even to this very day,
our journey has never changed
We seek to find our purpose,
to find what was arranged
And as the road of life,
that bouncing bumpy path
Looks to find our inner heart,
amongst the aftermath
But the wisdom of our truth,
those pearls of yesteryear
Are bound to our destiny,
all of which we share
So hold your strength,
and face this world of stress
For even amongst its scary ways,
is a magic we are blessed
And when we feel the time has come,
to bid this land goodbye
We transform into another,
to begin again on high.

Namaste

Traits of an Empath!

Reblogged from soulvisionhealing

Just an interesting list to ‘see’ what traits you may have. We all have the ability, and it can be more pronounced depending where you are at in your life!

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Traits of an Empath

Empaths as a rule are often highly misunderstood people who have the amazing yet intense ability to be able to sense emotions from; family, friends, animals and even complete strangers both in-person and from a distance. Empaths can also sense energy from possessions (such as photographs or someone’s ring) nature and also the earth’s magnetic fields. This is how more often than not and not unlike an animal can sense something coming, so to can the empath on many different levels.
Just so you are aware being an Empath is not the same as having empathy. We are all born with empathy and have the ability to empathize with another; Empaths have not only the ability to empathize with another, but also to understand another person’s entire emotional process which can bring clarity and wisdom to those who are drawn to them for help or healing in some way or another.

There are many as explained in a previous blog that believe the gift of being an Empath is a double edged sword, on one hand we could see it as such a gift to be able to help so many, but there are many without the tools and knowledge that also see it as a curse or even a mental illness.

Below you will find some of the traits of an Empath, each empath is individual but all empaths feel, so if you are an empath reading this blog it is more than likely that you will have a few aha moments when reading these or relate on some level within your own journey.
Traits of an Empath
The number one trait of an Empath in my book is their ability to sense emotions or feel the emotions of others. Whether they are close within a family circle or perfect strangers. It doesn’t matter if the empath is in the same room with the person or on the other side of the world they still have the ability to tune into said person’s energy much like one half of a twin.

It’s very important for an Empath to fully understand each of the human emotions since it’s sometimes necessary to distinguish between the emotions of themselves or another. Knowing where the emotion stems from helps us to control our feelings in a larger capacity, not over-react to them, and then set them free from our minds as quickly as possible.

Some of the many emotions each of us can portray at one time or another are – Affection, Anger, Angst, Anguish, Annoyance, Anxiety, Apathy, Arousal, Awe, Boredom, Confidence, Contempt, Contentment, Courage, Curiosity, Depression, Desire, Despair, Disappointment, Disgust, Distrust, Dread, Ecstasy, Embarrassment, Envy, Euphoria, Excitement, Fear, Frustration, Gratitude, Grief, Guilt, Happiness, Hatred, Hope, Horror, Hostility, Hurt, Hysteria, Indifference, Interest, Jealousy, Joy, Loathing, Loneliness, Love, Lust, Outrage, Panic, Passion, Pity, Pleasure, Pride, Rage, Regret, Relief, Remorse, Sadness, Satisfaction, Self-confidence, Shame Shock, Shyness Sorrow, Suffering, Surprise, Terror, Trust, Wonder, Worry, Zeal, and Zest.

For an empath the awareness of their own emotions and others, as well as the release of that which is not there’s is extremely pertinent to leading a happy, balanced and healthy lifestyle.

1. Just knowing: Empaths just know stuff, without being told and seemingly out of nowhere. It’s a depth of knowing that goes way beyond a gut feeling, even though it could easily be described that way. The more finely attuned they are the stronger this gift becomes.

2. You can tell when you are being told a lie almost immediately: If a family member or a close friend is telling you lies you just know it (although a lot of empaths try not to focus too much on this because knowing a loved one is lying can be a painful thing to learn). Or maybe you are in the situation of someone saying one thing but thinking/feeling something completely different, you just know.

3. Being in public places can be overwhelming: Places like supermarkets, stadiums, concerts, malls, fairgrounds, the movies, any where there are loads of people around, can fill the empath with an overwhelming sense of emotions coming at them from all directions and without room to breathe to even focus on trying to work out one emotion from another.

4. Watching violence, cruelty or tragic events on the TV is almost unbearable: The more attuned and knowledgeable of their gift an empath becomes the worse it is under these circumstances and may make it so they eventually have to stop watching the news, news updates and or reading newspapers, current events, violent films altogether.

5. Constant fatigue or lacking in energy: Empaths often get extremely drained of energy, either from energy vampires or just taking on too much from others within a day/week etc, which even sleep will not help or cure. Many get diagnosed with a form of chronic fatigue syndrome.

6. Taking on physical symptoms of another: An empath will almost always develop the ailments off another person (colds, infections, headaches, muscle strain, body aches and pains to name just a few) especially those they’re closest to, it’s sort of like going out in sympathy for another.

7. Creative expression: From singing (all types of genres), dancing, acting, creating all types of artwork from scrapbooking to painting or writing an empath will have a very strong creative streak and a sometimes wildly vivid imagination.

8. Always looking out for others: Anyone whose suffering, in need of a lift, in emotional pain or being bullied in any form draws an empath’s attention and compassion almost immediately, they simply can’t help themselves when they see or feel someone in need.

9. The ever present counsellor to the masses: An empath can become somewhat of a dumping ground for everyone else’s problems friends, family and even strangers dramas and issues which, if they’re not careful can end up as their own. Self care is VERY important in this trait.

10. A cluttered environment: This is something every empath struggles with at some point or another, whether it be in their own home/workplace or others, it makes an empath feel completely weighed down and blocks the flow of energy, leaving the empath feeling heavy and lacking motivation.

11. Addictive personality: Shopping, alcohol, food, drugs, sex, are to name but a few addictions that empaths turn to, to block out the emotions of others, or to what i call band aiding the real issues, burying them deep inside with a big old bandaid over the top to try and forget about them. It is a form of self protection in order to hide from someone or something.

12. Drawn to healing in all it’s forms, holistic therapies and all things metaphysical/spiritual: Although many empaths have the natural healing ability within them already and would love nothing more than to heal others they can end up turning away from being healers, after they’ve studied and qualified or been certified in some way, because when they start using their new found healing or channeling abilities they take on far too much from the one/one’s they are trying to heal or channel healing too. Especially if they are unaware of their empathy. Anything of a supernatural nature is of great interest to empaths and they don’t get shocked or surprised very easily.

13. Digestive disorders and lower back problems: The solar plexus chakra is based in the centre of the abdomen and it’s known as the powerhouse of all our emotions. This is where empaths feel the incoming emotion of another, whether that be human or spirit, which can weaken the area if not looked after, protected and can eventually lead to anything from stomach ulcers to IBS and the list goes on and on. Lower back problems (amongst other things) are a big one for an empath, especially the empath that is unaware of the strong need for balance. This back pain is due to being ungrounded which empaths often are.

14. Love of anything related to nature or animals: Being outdoors in the fresh air and within nature is a must for empaths and providing themselves balance. Due to the energy of others empaths tend to lock themselves away to protect themselves, nature is an important part of creating balance for the empath and pets are an essential part of their life. Pets show such unconditional love and for an empath that is so important to have, animals are very giving and that’s a nice balance again for the empath that likes to continually give.

15. The need for solitude: An empath will get aggravated if they don’t get their quiet time. This is even obvious in empathic children. Empaths need that space to recoup from others energies, to bring balance to themselves and to just be in their OWN energy for a change.

16. Finds routine, rules or control claustrophobic and will fight against it: Anything that takes away an empath’s sense of freedom is extremely debilitating and can even have a poisoning effect to the moods of the imprisoned empath.

17. Finds it hard to continue or do things that don’t amuse them or fulfill enjoyment: It almost feels like they are living a lie by continuing something they don’t enjoy. To force an empath to do something they dislike through guilt or calling them lazy will only serve in making them unhappy. It doesn’t feel right to an empath to do something that doesn’t contain some passion or enjoyment for them.

18. Is constantly searching for the truth: This becomes more prevalent when an empath discovers his/her gifts and has a strong identification with their empathic self. Anything untruthful feels just plain wrong to them.

19. Always looking for the answers and the knowledge to back it: To have unanswered questions can be extremely frustrating for an empath and they will endeavour to find an explanation as quickly as possible. If they have a knowing or even a small amount of knowledge about something they will look for confirmation. The downside to this is an information overload and the possibility of endless hours of research if to do nothing else but obtain peace of mind that they have found the information.

20. Likes the thought of travel, adventure and the freedom of large spaces: Empaths are definitely free spirits.

21. Gets easily distracted or bored quickly if not stimulated: School, work and home life has to be kept interesting for an empath (a good place to help empathic children get creative to spur their imagination and keep things alive and stimulating for them) or they just switch off from it and end up steering off into space or doodling to keep themselves occupied.

22. Lover of daydreaming: An empath can stare into space for hours over the smallest thought or picture they have created in their minds, in a world of their own and blissfully happy.

23. Can sense the energy of the food they eat: Many empaths don’t like to eat meat red or white and some even fish products because they can feel the vibrations or the energy of the animal (especially if the animal suffered in their lives or even in death), even if they like or love the taste. To feel the energy of the animal suffering, can make the finely attuned empath ill after eating.

24. Has an intolerance to narcissism of any kind: Although kind, caring and compassionate and often more than tolerant of others, empaths do not like to be around overly egotistical people for very long, especially those who put themselves first and refuse to consider anyone else’s feelings or points of view other than their own. The more attuned empath will distance themselves further and further from a narcissist as they begin to realise they cannot help those who won’t help themselves.

Note to the empath – How can you tell when you are in the presence of a Narcissistic person who is an energy vampire:
All that you say and do is never good enough
Everything you say is spun around and turned against you
That gut feeling or natural instinct you have is sending up red flags or alarm bells non-stop
Nothing you do will ever please these people
You’re constantly made to feel beneath them or made to feel in-superior around them
You never feel heard, listened too or even validated
You speak your truth in love, they show sympathy and then moments later attack you for it
Every time you gently criticize their actions, your words are used against you to make you feel bad
Nothing you say or do to please them will make them like you or love you anymore or as equally as you love them.
They will use past situations and your insecurities against you whenever they feel like it and sometimes for no reason at all
You may feel trapped into an argument that has no resolution and that you didn’t cause nor want to be involved in from the start
It’s always your fault or the blame is always on you no matter what
You will be criticized and made to feel bad for sharing how well you might be doing in your life. That is seen as a slap in the face towards them and how they are doing.
When you finally do stand up for yourself they are sorry, then five minutes later or the next day attack again.
They constantly wear a mask and put on their best face to others, all the while you know exactly what’s coming next, what’s brewing inside and how that may affect you.

All of the above points (plus many more) you could possibly suffer from while being around these types of people, it generally will never change. They will sense your caring, giving heart coming a mile away, and will undoubtedly abuse you and use you much like a neverending drug. These types of people are known to say things like; “I can’t do without my (your name) fix”, or “I can’t do this without you” which is more often than not a tell sign that if you leave them or choose not to help them, that they will do everything in their power to; keep you hooked within their reach, making you feel small, unwanted, not very good for much else other than helping them and then ashamed for leaving them.
This is where you need to set loving boundaries and if that is not an option or does not work,
detach with love and RUN!

25. The ability to literally feel what day of the week it is: An empath will get that “Thank goodness it’s Friday Feeling’ whether they work Fridays or not. An empath picks up on how the collective are feeling in the moment. A long weekend to an empath feels like bliss around the world, like the world is quite literally smiling, calm, happy and relaxed. Sunday evenings, Mondays and Tuesdays however tell a different story, with a heaviness and dread behind them.

26. Excellent listeners, people often vent to empaths: An empath generally struggles to talk about themselves much, unless it’s to someone they really love and trust. They love to put their energy into learning about others and holding compassion and care around other’s journeys in the most sincere and authentic way.

27. Can often appear moody, shy or disconnected to others: Depending on how an empath is feeling inside will depend on what mask they wear or what they will show of themselves to the world. They can be prone to mood swings that can often spiral out of control, much like four seasons in one day and if they’ve taken on too much negative energy they can appear very quiet, withdrawn, unsociable and even miserable within themselves. An empath detests having to pretend to be happy when inside they are sad, this only adds to their energy load. That ever loved catch phrase used especially in retail of the customers are always right and service with a smile can make life really hard for the empath when all they want to do is challenge the customer that is wrong and not smile when they don’t feel it.

28. Will not choose to buy second hand anything or antiques: Anything that’s been pre-owned carries the energy of the previous owner, so you won’t find many empaths garage saleing especially if they are finely attuned. An empath will even prefer to have a brand new car or house if it’s financially possible, with no residual energy of previous tenants or occupants. Unless they have the tools of clearing the house, things that they live in, use or wear.

29. Prone to carrying excess weight without necessarily overeating: The excess weight gain is more often than not a form of protection to stop the negative incoming energies having as much impact. If an empath is in a toxic environment or around toxic people, more often than not the area around their solar plexus chakra will expand. the moment the energy changes in the environment to a light one and happiness is in abundance, the weight seems to disappear.

30. Greatly affected by the Psychic Vampire: Whatever the type of person, the pay attention to me, poor me, sitting on the pity pot, the talker, the friend greedy for your time or the biggy the drama queen. Empath’s tend to struggle in this area because they are so used to helping and giving, It’s important for the empath to create strong, firm but loving boundaries around their friends, family and even strangers.

31. Rough sports or violent activities can deeply affect an empath: For many female Empaths, the idea of watching violent sports such as boxing, rugby, football etc puts them off just as much as; newspapers, tv and horror/thriller movies. Just like some men, they don’t see the need for violence in any form as a whole, and often feel compelled to speak up against it.

32. Feel compelled to tell it like you see it: Empaths aren’t a fan of negativity, feeling hurtful or nasty emotions from people, so more often than not struggle to lie at any cost, since lying in itself takes a very negative thought process to begin with. That being said, Empaths can sometimes get into trouble for speaking the truth all the time. How many of you have gotten into trouble for speaking your mind and then standing behind your truth? (unfortunately not everyone can handle the truth, in whatever form it comes to them). Empaths tell the truth because it feels good to be honest, rather than to just pretend it doesn’t exist.

If you can relate or have said yes to most of or all of the above then you are most definitely an empath.

The Power of a Hug!

Think about this for a moment. All those times when we were small and we had fallen over and busted our knee, cut ourselves doing something or bruising our ego’s in life’s tumbles, our mom was always there with a hug and cuddle and some amazing words…and all that pain would go away….vanish in a puff of…well, yeah, magic.

We were shown this magic in so many different ways as we grew up, even to the point that we do it for our own children, but alas, as they got older, and especially the male of the species, it became less and less. You know, I’m tough, I don’t need that sissy stuff…meanwhile quailing inside from the pain that life brings.

In a new relationship you see the young’uns wrapped around each other so much you don’t know where one starts and the other ends. They FEEL everything at that stage from the flutter of an eyelid to the meaning in a glance. They are so tuned into each other with their energy blending with the power of love. Remember that glow…that feeling that you can climb mountains and heal the world. Well, you can. Just by the simple affect of a hug.

No, not just throw your arms around someone for 1.3 seconds, pat them on the back and say ‘off you go!’. This isn’t a marathon to see how many you can give. This is an act in itself, an expression of who YOU are within. By opening your arms you are saying to someone…I’m trusting you, opening my heart to you, and I am giving myself unconditionally to you. Your body language with the expression you give with it….ie. a smile or loving glance speaks volumes. If it is done with a snarl, trust me, it would be the equivalent to being hugged by a tarantula. Actually, I think I’d rather the tarantula. (My apologies to the spider lovers, after all, they are also God’s creatures too 🙂 ).

So the next time you are with someone and you feel a hug is in order, GIVE them a hug, step outside your boundaries and say to them in your hug….I care, I’m prepared to be open with you, and I’m giving my love to you, unconditionally. And sometimes that is just exactly what they need to help them go through something…a grazed knee, a hard day or even just because. The healing in that one small act is immeasurable, but we avoid it thinking we are overstepping a boundary (usually our own), and it is usually exactly what is needed. If in a circumstance you thought about it, do it.

Sometimes others may react to it by shoving you away and that is usually because of how they have been brought up or even bad experiences in their lives. The best way to signal your intentions is to just open your arms toward them with a smile. They will respond accordingly. But don’t judge their acceptance or rebuttal by reacting in any way. Just be the love that you are within. You have given from that love and the best of who you are. THAT is the important part, that you are giving freely, without any expectations, from who you are within. They will see and feel that, and that is THEIR important part. To see and feel that there IS love in the world, even though they may not be able to reach out for it at that time.

The hug is the jewel of who we are within. It shines out, interacts and heals more than any other act. Your intentions, integrity and care are all wrapped up in those few moments when you embrace. Whether its a baby, a child or a lover it has great meaning. Stand in that truth, break through your walls and be in a space that says it all. And especially with someone you love very much and you feel you have been bogged down by your work or troubles, just stop for a moment, and instead of the usual 1.3 second hug as you walk through the door, put everything down so that you are free, open your arms and be fully present and giving to that beautiful person in front of you and hold it for however long it takes to say ‘I love you, and nothing else matters’.

And everything will change, right at that moment because it has meaning, and care, and love, and all those things that really do matter in this life that we live.

Even Dr’s and scientists are now discovering the beauty and healing in a hug. The following article shows just how powerful it is.

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Fun Facts About Hugging (Article link)

By Dr. Mercola

Neuroeconomist Paul Zak, also known as “Dr. Love,” recommends at least eight hugs a day to be happier and enjoy better relationships. Psychotherapist Virginia Satir also famously said:

“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”

This may very well be the “hug threshold” that allows your body to produce ample amounts of oxytocin, which is released in response to physical touch. The neuropeptide oxytocin, released by your pituitary gland, is a naturally occurring hormone in your body with incredibly powerful, health-giving properties.

It is also a key reason why the simple act of hugging is such an incredible way to not only bond with others but also boost your physical, and emotional, health.

How Hugging Makes You Healthier.

Hugging increases levels of the “love hormone” oxytocin. This, in turn, may have beneficial effects on your heart health and more. One study found, for instance, that women had lower blood pressure following a brief episode of warm contact with their partner.

A 20-second hug, along with 10 minutes of hand-holding, also reduces the harmful physical effects of stress, including its impact on your blood pressure and heart rate. This makes sense, since hugging is known to lower levels of stress hormones like cortisol. But research suggests there’s even more to it than that. As reported by Mail Online:

“The skin contains a network of tiny, egg-shaped pressure centers called Pacinian corpuscles that can sense touch and which are in contact with the brain through the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve winds its way through the body and is connected to a number of organs, including the heart.

It is also connected to oxytocin receptors. One theory is that stimulation of the vagus triggers an increase in oxytocin, which in turn leads to the cascade of health benefits.”

A 10-second hug a day can lead to biochemical and physiological reactions in your body that can significantly improve your health. According to one study, this includes:

Lower risk of heart disease
Stress reduction
Fight fatigue
Boost your immune system
Fight infections
Ease depression

Does Cuddle Therapy Work?

There’s no doubt that hugging, caressing, and cuddling feel good. As neurologist Shekar Raman, MD, said in the Huffington Post:

“A hug, pat on the back, and even a friendly handshake are processed by the reward center in the central nervous system, which is why they can have a powerful impact on the human psyche, making us feel happiness and joy… And it doesn’t matter if you’re the toucher or touchee. The more you connect with others — on even the smallest physical level — the happier you’ll be.”

Yet, many people are touch-deprived. One study found that one-third of people receive no hugs on a daily basis while 75 percent said they wanted more hugs. Findings such as these, coupled with the emotional and health benefits of human touch, have led to the emergence of cuddle therapy centers, where people can pay for a lunchtime cuddle.

However, the verdict is still out on whether or not cuddles from strangers have the same impact as those from someone you know and trust. While cuddling with a spouse or partner has been shown to boost satisfaction in relationships, at least one study showed that hugs are only beneficial if trust is involved.

The lead researcher actually cautioned against worldwide “free hugs” campaigns (where strangers offer hugs to others), saying that this may be perceived as threatening and actually increase emotional burden and stress. However, proven benefits have been found from cuddling with a pet, which shows hugs don’t have to only be between humans to be beneficial. Even cuddling with your trusted pet may offer significant benefits to your heart and overall health.

More Fun Facts About Hugging.

Did you know that, on average, people spend on hour a month hugging? That doesn’t sound like much, but when you consider that the average hug is under 10 seconds long… that’s a lot of hugs!

Happiness Weekly compiled even more fun facts about hugging that highlight just how incredible this act of touch really is. For instance, a full-body hug stimulates your nervous system while decreasing feelings of loneliness, combating fear, increasing self-esteem, defusing tension, and showing appreciation.

And if you had any doubt about the importance of touch, consider that children who aren’t hugged have delays in walking, talking, and reading. A quick hug has a near-immediate impact on health, lowering your heart rate and inducing a calming effect while also leading to a more upbeat mood!

Interestingly, hugging has just as much a benefit for the person doing the hugging as the person being hugged, revealing the reciprocal nature of touch. Touch is even described as a universal language that can communicate distinct emotions with startling accuracy. One study found that touch alone can reveal emotions including anger, fear, disgust, love, gratitude, and sympathy, with accuracy rates of up to 83 percent.

Even More Reasons to Give (or Get) a Hug Today.

Hugs are one of the most succinct ways to encourage your body to release oxytocin, and the more oxytocin your pituitary gland releases, the better able you are to handle life’s stressors.

Oxytocin decreases the level of stress hormones (primarily cortisol) your body manufactures and lowers your blood pressure response to anxiety-producing events. Oxytocin quite likely plays a role in why pet owners heal more quickly from illness, why couples live longer than singles, and why support groups work for people with addictions and chronic diseases.

Oxytocin has also been found to reduce the cravings of drug and alcohol addiction, as well as for sweets. It even has a positive influence on inflammation and wound healing. Even beyond this, regular hugs have the added benefit of:

Cultivating patience and showing appreciation
Activating the Solar Plexus Chakra, which stimulates your thymus gland (this may help balance your production of white blood cells)
Stimulating dopamine, the pleasure hormone, and serotonin, for elevated mood
Balancing out your nervous system for better parasympathetic balance

Do You Need a Good Hug?

Often making a concerted effort to hug the people close to you is one of the best ways to get more hugs in return. This can include your spouse, children, and other family members along with close friends. But even if you’re not currently in a life situation conducive to getting daily hugs and producing enough of your own oxytocin on a regular basis, the good news is there are some alternatives you can use to help you deal in a healthy way with your emotional response to stress and anxiety.

With the already known and still-to-emerge health and quality of life benefits to be derived from the natural release of oxytocin in your body, your best course of action is to make sure you’re cultivating warm, loving, intimate relationships, no matter what stage of life you’re in. Additionally, if you have a pet, just a few minutes petting your dog or cat can promote the release of your body’s “happiness” hormones, including oxytocin. Since touch anywhere on your body, as well as positive interactions and psychological support, are known to increase oxytocin levels, you might also consider:

Holding hands and kissing
Giving and receiving a backrub
Nurturing others
Getting a massage
Practicing mind-body therapies like breathing exercises and yoga

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Well, all I can see is the positives about it, so what are you waiting for….hugs!…and lots of them!
And be happier, healthier and enjoy the connection. Namaste