Tag Archives: Path

Change!

It’s time. This battle has been very big. The tide has turned, and I must go with it, face it, as the battle against the flow becomes too tiring. It is a journey we all must make. As each cycle in our lives takes us through so many things to create a more wiser, loving and stronger person within.

But in that cycle we become entrenched in our safety, our knowingness, even our routines that in themselves give comfort. But as each cycle is concluded we don’t want to release all that we hold, for it has been a big journey and we have gained much from it. And that is the point. We have learned much, and understood it. And we won’t go willingly because of that. But the universe needs us on another course, another journey to take our wisdom to, and guide us in our quest for that unconditional love within.

Things start to ‘fall apart’, our lives begin to wobble. The unmistakeable feeling of the build up of stress due to these changes are taking their toll and we begin to react in a way that only weeks before was unheard of. Responses from people around us goes into new territory, even close people, and our confusion becomes staggered as we deal with the many things on the radar.

Things that we felt WERE our security have changed. Lost jobs, lost finance, even lost relationships are all around. When everything seemed to be fine. The change, in hindsight, will be seen many months or even years ago. It is a gradual thing, though at the time felt like an avalanche. The universe is being gentle, but we hold on so tightly that what follows feels like a skydive. Everything rushing up to meet you.

Well, my friends, I am releasing the reins of this change and going with the flow. I had thought I was being pro-change by moving house and stepping into what I thought was my new direction. Little did I know. I have been tested from the core of my being. My belief in self, and giving from that core belief in what I thought was who I was within, has taken a hit. I gave from such a place of total acceptance, of that belief, only to have it thrown back in my face.

It stung, and very badly. It brought up much from the past and it was time to look within and understand why my reaction to this was so intense. After much soul searching it raised it’s head, and the mask that I had in place over it. We always wear masks when dealing with other people. Be tough around stronger people, gentle with not so strong. Even a different mask for those close to us. The real us only seems to be with those we are closest to. But in this case, and something we all do, I had hidden my truth from me.

I was giving from such a place that I thought was a genuine understanding of unconditional love…no expectations! Was I wrong. When a previous relationship had ended, it felt really bad, and I put this down to the obvious feelings of rejection, loss of that love etc, etc. And I did feel those things, even though they were quite tempered by what spirit had explained to me about that particular relationship. But when this new event occurred, it really stung AND brought back up all those previous feelings from before. I needed to go inside big time and search for an understanding of why I was feeling this way.

And it was a sneaky little thing. I kept re-adjusting the mask. Gave myself excuses for doing this or that. But I forced myself to come back to that original feeling of being so upset by their actions. And then it hit me. I WAS having expectations from all that I do. And I don’t mean I wanted bits and pieces…I WANTED to be accepted for what I was doing….my FEAR was in NOT being accepted…which all came back to my childhood years of feeling rejected by my dad. My thinking that if I did this or that…he would accept me for who I was. And here I was nearly 50 years later still in that time warp. The fact that my whole existence is given from a place of truth has suddenly been thrown out the door. I had been living a lie. Making out something that I was not.

It has rocked me totally. It may not have been intentional, but I believed in what ‘I’ was doing, and to realise it was done from this place of fear leaves a very sour taste. For me to understand that ‘I’ was lying to me, through my fear, really gives a feeling I’ve let myself down, let alone the others I treat. I know it has purpose, and like all else that we do, we put ourselves in these positions so that a healing can take place. And create a more truthful, loving and giving individual within.

Truth can be quite painful within, but I do know it brings a more open and understanding soul who can now be more empathic to others because of it. Time will tell if I have healed with no more masks on my path. Facing a truth of that magnitude has shaken what I thought I was within, lowered my confidence and taken some of the wind out of my sails. It makes you question yourself and try to understand what it means. In that journey I hope the unconditional love that I know is there in my heart, is no longer shaded by a fear.

I have been a little quiet, and I think I have a little more time to adjust to what I have learnt. For the wisdom that has slowly been reached also has purpose for my new direction. But for now I feel very drained and tired from going through this event. A part of this journey is to allow ourselves to heal, give ourselves time to adjust to a new understanding and become that new truth that we have discovered. It is only in denying this that reinforces the fear that kept it in place originally.

May your changes bring you closer to that unconditional love.

Namaste

Absorbing Emotions!

Me being the cancer with a cancer rising sign that I am, and in the early days doing my Massage Therapy, I was always absorbing everything around me. At times I felt like an emotional magnet. Empath on steroids 🙂

But one day spirit showed me a little journey, how I was always on guard to all those emotional people around me, and I was in fact attracting that to me because I was holding up an imaginary sign that said, ‘I’m afraid of emotional people’.

So spirit said, ‘the only way you can overcome any fear…is to step through it’.

So I said, ‘how do I step through other peoples emotions’.

And spirit said, ‘by releasing yours, by being totally open and unafraid of THEIR fears and giving out the love that is always within you. Standing in your truth’.

I said, ‘If I open myself up, I’m afraid of being hurt’.

And spirit said, ‘I know, and until you release that fear you will always absorb it. And the day you do, it will no longer bother you, and you will also find that because of that trust and love you are now giving out, other people and their fears will no longer wish to be around you because of that strength you now have within you. They will be afraid of the truth that you now show because they feel within that they can only heal themselves when they also step into that truth, but are not ready yet so will keep away’.

So everything changed at that point and I no longer fear people’s emotions. I no longer hold up my sign, and I just be my truth. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m in this world with all of its ups and downs and if something occurs that has great meaning to me, of course I’m going to feel it with great emotion, whether it is seeing the beauty of the birth of a child or the loss of a loved one.

But it is in understanding both those journeys that shows the love that truly is a part of all. And once understood they no longer cast a fear or our need to keep our signs aloft any longer.

We are the signs, by being the beauty of what that love has created within each and every one of us we become that understanding and shine that out into the world by being what we believe within.

It is in finding our own truth, stepping through those things that hold us at bay, that we finally release those walls within that were blocking that one thing that we all yearn for in our lives, the unconditional love that is right inside us, waiting for that wall to come down so that it can shine out and show all, the heart that is now totally giving and free.

May your journey show you the love and beauty within, for in truth, it is a beautiful destination.

Namaste

Soul Seeker

Right…it’s done! I have moved into my new place and have begun the contemplation of just what this move means for my future. The urge to restart my healing from a better place and also have space to find the soul within, without the struggles of life constantly knocking on the door.
So while I was in this mood of regarding my place in life, a Bardess of renown came knocking on my door…well, a comment anyway…and being also in the hold of a thought on what is life, proceeded to bring my soul out to play, and convince me it was time to express myself using the words that were tumbling within.
So in collaboration with scottishmomus, the poetess of the highlands, here is our poem to begin a new journey, one of hope and healing for the future.

Soul seeker,
journey far in waxing, waning moon…
Heart healer,
words of healing, life in tune…
Believe then, in magic,
writ by silver’d stars…
And belief within,
Life open, without bars…
Hush, spirit, listen well,
heed that aching need…
To find the truth,
the beginning of a seed…
Be still, in the knowing,
Let silence fill your mind…
A gift from up above,
a wonder you will find…
No magic be cast here,
Mere souls in perfect tune…
With love and a sharing,
Perfect harmony with the moon…
Be faithful to the aching,
The voice that cries within…
For in that understanding,
is a love that’s always been.

Many thanks momus, it was a pleasure to ‘come out and play’ 🙂

Namaste

A Moment in Time!

And you will never forget that moment…all has led to this beautiful point. All the striving and hardships to achieve some unknown yearning, some direction or path that has meaning. And suddenly a understanding comes within…just a flutter, you try to grasp it, and it turns away. Release it and it comes back, opening like a flower. Sometimes it is difficult, but I realise now, that was because I was getting in the way. The mind trying to grasp something by the good old fashioned way of logic.

Totally useless when you begin to realise this understanding comes from within. It has always been there but life just gets in the way. It has taken me many years to gain this understanding, and like any journey there is a beginning.

You read and read, listening to others around you, all the while taking some things on board and rejecting what doesn’t seem to fit. And even coming back to them because over time you have changed, and you now have some pull towards them. At this point you realise you had to go through something, which changed you, and you now understand what you had rejected. A little more is added to the mix.

This goes on, bit by bit as you gain enough wisdom to release those fears and that interaction with life that block that understanding within. It is perfectly balanced so that until you reach that point of ‘wanting something more’out of life, you will stay on that path of the world. Keep trudging until that guiding sentinel within gently shows you something, a moment of understanding that sits you up and allows you to realise ‘there is something more’, and the change begins.

You hold it to the side, not speaking of it for fear of being labelled as ‘different’, but this is also part of the understanding. As you realise there is significance in these ‘events’, your attitude begins to change. You start to feel a purpose, a reason for being who and what you are within. Even though this begins a struggle with the world all around. For until you step fully into this journey, it will keep you at bay. Law of attraction, you hold it at bay, it will hold you at bay.

You are now developing your truth and integrity because of what you are now feeling. You are beginning to understand that you needed to feel everything that you have, so that you will understand these events as they come. You are now beginning to accelerate by letting go of the world, your understanding increases because you are letting go of all those things in life that block your journey.

And then one day you are just being…nothing more, and an understanding will come forward within. It will be so incredible that it will stop you in your tracks. The world around you will disappear for it will no longer have any meaning as you feel the truth of what has been revealed. The tears will flow, and gladly, for the beauty in this understanding will wrap your heart in the most incredible love that you will never, ever forget. You are free, and open to this love now forever. You also see that this beauty within has always been there, just waiting until you are ready.

As more time goes by and you come from this new place within, you see the truth of all your interactions with your life, within others and the purpose that it holds for you. Yes, just you, so that you may realise the beauty from within, and in doing so, give to others from that place because that is what you have gradually attracted. A love to self. A release of that life long ‘I can’t do this!…I’m not good enough!’, that has kept that duality, that non connection within. And in that belief in self, that beginning of that love for you, you stop blocking the one thing that has been trying to gain a foothold in your life, that unconditional love that is all around.

At this time you realise, yes, you are still on this earth, but it no longer has the drag of life you have endured. Your lessons in life and hardships, have reached their purpose, and you now stand in your truth, giving totally and freely within, as the understanding of that unconditional love unfolds.

Welcome to my world fellow traveller, I bid you wel-come, for even though it is a journey of much pain, it’s destination is one of such incredible beauty. Be strong, persevere and know that this path is one of completion, and the freedom and love gained will far, far outweigh anything that went before. Be at peace in that knowledge, for it is with great love that our creator wants us to be a part of all that is, that unconditional love, forever.

Namaste

Finding the Beauty Within!

My previous post that I reblogged from :

Endless Light and Love!

And click on this link for that post below:

Indigo Children, They are So Switched On to Life

was such an amazing thing to watch and feel, especially where it came from. (See this video first so that you may understand the rest of this post).

It was spoken straight from his heart with not a trace of this world to begin his doubt, fears and the journey back to that unconditional love. We can sense it from him, but this world, and the fears we have created within ourselves, block it in us for fear of being open to it, and being hurt. Just as his mum was eventually brought to tears because of what she felt in the truth that he spoke.

Our minds and ego’s have had years of blocking things to protect ourselves from those painful things in our lives, but the truth is, it is when we do face those fears, we are free. It is by doing that, that we are loving ourselves, and that duality we have had for so, so long, is finally let go, and we begin to truly love and accept ourselves by seeing ourselves for who we truly are, instead of convincing ourselves we are this or that because of those fears.

That truth when we finally see within ourselves, without the walls of fear, anger or pain, is so enlightening. You finally see the beauty all around for you are no longer on guard, no longer afraid of what may come next. You begin to feel all around you in truth, as it comes, instead of what you think may be there through fear, and prepare for the worst which does not allow you to feel everything as it is, because you are so concerned with the next ‘what if?’.

You begin to see and feel in such a way that you begin to smile at all those little things that you just didn’t have time for before, and now can be seen for what they really are, part of the beauty of life. You are no longer set in your ways to be ready for anything, you just appreciate what happens as it does for you are now beginning to realise that this journey, is a journey, and not a work routine.

You begin to live by ‘looking out the window’ of your holiday transport and relax and enjoy the views and the experiences of what is a beautiful, natural landscape that can be truly experienced for the wonder that they are.

I will make one other small comment here. For those that know, it has already been seen, but for others on their journey it is in the recognition of the power, and I’m not talking about worldly power where you have control in some way over another, it is the power that is given ‘unconditionally’ from within the child. When you recognise, without fear, where it has come from, then you have begun to answer your truth within and realise the potential of giving from your heart and understanding the journey of unconditional love. The power that the child has is simply the fact that he does not yet condemn himself for anything, view himself wrong in any way or have judgement of another. All is given from a place within that only knows that unconditional love.

You too can be that child within. May your journey and awareness, from your courage to look within and release those walls that you have built, blossom from the love that you give yourself to remove those fears. For in that knowledge and acceptance you then find that you are very perfect exactly as you are, and the understanding of unconditional love begins.

Namaste

What if!

What if, when we finish our lives on this planet, we have learned to love, have compassion, create from our hearts, heal from within and understand unconditional love? What if, after many soulful lessons, from struggling through life, turning ourselves inside out, emotionally crucifying ourselves and left physically drained from all of life’s hardships, much understanding has been gained?

And God say’s, ‘Now you are wise!’.

What if, after God say’s this, that we finally do understand that we are a part of God, He is inside all of us, teaching, guiding, loving…unconditionally? What if, we then begin to understand our new ‘life’, one of being a part of the whole, but each an individual spark of creation, a birth of something new?

And God say’s, ‘Here is a new planet, it is called Gaia, now be that truth!’.

What if, as we realise where we are now going, we now become that guiding influence, that whisper to another’s heart, that truth from an understanding within, that creativity from deep inside, that love for another? What if, as we see the hearts within mankind below, we understand what went before so that we can now, with that unconditional love within, guide them on that same path?

And God say’s, ‘I love you…be that unconditional love within!’.

What if……that is our truth…..and our journey has only just begun?

A Path!

So far, after a great deal of time of my life, I am seeing the underneath fabric of all that connects us, and really understanding some depth into the journey and its purpose. Not all, obviously, but with much better perspective of something that I thought I knew from earlier in my life (for where I was at), but really did not. I suppose it is like using Tarot cards, they look like cards with pictures and writing on them, but after a while they begin to tell a story.

This journey we are on always follows the theme of the heart. One of struggling with a myriad of emotions that always come back to that one truth of unconditional love. But that understanding can only come after many, many paths that test us in so many ways. We at times wish it would all end, but in hindsight, begin to see the wisdom of the journey and how it has slowly changed us in such a way that we begin to see the beauty in our understanding of just what is really going on underneath it all.

When I first began to ‘see’, I thought I had cracked the secret of the universe and went out to heal the world, which (in hindsight) was exactly what I needed to do as I was drawing people to me that needed healing from that perspective. But as I understand more and as I have ‘opened’ more, I realise that in reality, I need to do less. Then I only attract to me from that perspective.

This journey we are on is set up so perfectly to attract exactly what we need within our lives to such a degree that it astounds me with the beauty of it. I can be helping someone, and as we go through the particular emotional turmoil they are experiencing, I begin to see exactly why they go through this experience, from whatever fear they are experiencing, to attracting exactly what is required for them to go through and release that fear allowing them to experience, understand, release the emotions and gain the wisdom from this path.

And all of this wisdom begins to show the truth within, the journey of understanding and the knowledge that we are all here to gain the beauty of unconditional love. The releasing of all of our fears is the main agenda for it blocks our ability to ‘see’. We put up our physical and emotional walls to protect ourselves from those fears but in so doing we are so focused on creating a life to avoid those fears that it closes the ability to ‘see’.

These emotional walls are very important as they cause us to struggle within with so many onslaughts of ‘what if ‘ and ‘should I or shouldn’t I’, that becomes a hard taskmaster but in truth creates a master within. Like a chess game. In the beginning you see lots of pieces that do many individual things and your focus is in close on each piece for what they do, but after a while you can begin to see that these same pieces can in fact be looked at from further back and moved in context with the other pieces. Your understanding of the strategy of the game becomes more complex but easier because of that understanding. You gain wisdom by experiencing the game and understanding it’s complexities.

So is life. As you begin to understand the way that you react to certain circumstances and understand that those fears are in fact ruling your life and complicating you beyond measure, and you reach a point within that says ‘enough’, you begin to step out of a strategy that you have had in place forever to cope with this fear, and begin to try another strategy, and another, until you realise that none of them work. There is only one way…and that is to go through that fear, face it head on, and then and only then do you understand why you have had that coping strategy in place, to protect you from it because you have been afraid to face it. But it was never going anywhere, it was just sitting there until you do face it.

So you begin to look deeper to understand why this has been in place for so long. You poke and prod in frustration until one day you see or hear something that you relate to, and suddenly you understand what it is that you have been afraid of. At this point you usually burst into tears from the release of understanding. The final checkmate that finishes such a long and drawn out process that the relief is indescribable. It’s done. Leaving you very drained, tired but out from under a burden that you have laboured under forever. There will be a lot of time needed to get over this as it is a hugely emotional drain, and unlike a physical drain, this needs much more recovery time.

After this journey is complete you begin to see this same path that others are taking and you have much empathy to those others because of what you have experienced. You begin to give to others from that compassion within that you have gained from your experience. And this opens you from within, as your journey has now shown you your truth. You are no longer hiding, evading or even lying to yourself because of that fear. You are no longer bound by the walls that you had in place for protection. You begin to give from your truth and in doing that the universe responds in kind, to begin another journey, but with this one it is from the opposite side of the coin. This time you start to understand the journey and give from that place of understanding.

As time goes on and you ‘see’ so much more, you begin to master your wisdom and realise that all that went before has purpose. It also enables you to ‘step back’ further and begin to really understand just what unconditional love means. You are no longer judgemental as you can now see we all have our own individual fears and are driven by those fears. And what a fear means to one person may not affect another at all. This in itself releases you for the simple reason that those judgements are based on fear. You no longer have yours as you have now released it, and you are now coming from your truth within, which is totally free from any judgement and no longer a load to carry around.

You now understand the complexities of what a fear can do. It has always been the reason from doing or not doing so many things. It integrates itself into your life, not just a side of your life but an integration of just who you are. That is why it is such a release when it is faced and released. It will feel like the world has been lifted off your shoulders. And it is no longer at the steering wheel of your life. You now give control back to yourself, your true self that has been behind the wall.

So now as each piece of understanding is gained you begin to ‘see’ further and further into your truth, of just what you are and the meaning that we have so been looking for all our lives. To realise that this whole journey has been only about one thing, even though there is a billion ways to get there, and that is to understand the path of self love, to find that truth within, remove that duality and finally become one with all that is, the beauty and perfection that is unconditional love.

With love and light,

Mark

Learning to Love

I read a very nice poem by a  lovely lady on a blog here yesterday (scottishmomus you have been outed 🙂  ), and it reminded me of a love that I had experienced and what it had meant to me. Yes, that love was very special to me, but it showed me something even more precious. It showed me how to love myself, and I don’t mean that in a egotistical sense. Out of all that I went through over the last few years the main thing I found, and was shown by spirit, is our inability to love ourselves.

We always doubt ourselves, have little confidence in our abilities and belittle our worth in so many different ways. BUT, that is the journey, that is how we find and understand unconditional love. It is a journey within ourselves to find that capacity to give to ourselves that love that we find so hard to do, even to others because we don’t want to be hurt. It is only when we realise that if we give totally, step past the fear of being hurt, that we realise that it was inside us all the time, we just had to step past that fear in ourselves. An incredible realisation when you see and feel what it means.

So now I give from a totally different place, no more doubts, no more thinking I am not worth it, just do the best that I am able. Yes, I definitely still make mistakes, I’m still human, but that doesn’t give me the excuse any more for anything. I now know within myself that I always give from that place of love within and accept that. It has changed everything. Everything takes on a completely different aspect. All I have learnt in my life has practically been thrown out because it does not function in who I now am. But don’t get me wrong, all that went before was very much needed. Like trainer wheels on your bike, needed to start with but removed as your confidence in self was increased to a point that they were no longer needed.

So is life, the more we understand, the more we integrate our truth within into our everyday lives, the more we let go of what is no longer needed until we reach that lovely place of unconditional love. That is our path. It is the one thing that when we show our love openly, freely and with no fear, it is also returned in like manner. The universe is so in tune with our every move that when it see’s us take that step into ourselves, it will reciprocate in kind. I now see that on a day to day level, and when I do say ‘hang on, why isn’t such and such happening’, I know I’m putting expectations on it, so I let it go.

And slowly as I integrate this into my life I smile a lot more, simply because I am more happy within. People find that a bit confronting. My car breaks down, I smile, I lose money, I smile, because in the middle of all those things…they don’t matter. The most important thing in all this is you, and to learn you are that important in the scheme of things. Give that love to you, you deserve it, totally and unreservedly. Begin the change that will make all the difference in the world. And in return, be that change and give from a place that is now you, and like any relationship when you give something with love, it is returned in many ways.

First take one step…how do you truly feel about yourself within?…then take another…..and don’t worry about people looking at your trainer wheels, they are there for you so that you can find that truth within…this is YOUR journey, no one else’s, this is all about you, believing in yourself and finding that love and the perfect relationship with you. They will be delighted with the end product because of what you will become. Yes, it can be a fearful step, but be gentle on yourself, don’t put so much pressure on yourself that you enhance that fear, and more to the point, show me one child that hasn’t come tumbling down in the process. Even later on with the ‘look ma’, no hands’ that ends up in a heap because they got too cocky.

But that’s ok too. That’s the learning process. The most important bit is that you try, try to become that beautiful being within by being loving to yourself, and in return begin to express that love within that is just waiting to come out. Now…about that first step…are you ready to give that love to yourself?