Tag Archives: healing

An Experience of Death!

This post below (Part 1) is from my original page ‘The Death’ up on the menu bar. It was an encounter that I was privileged to experience and feel with spirit in my journey to understand my fears as I go through life. It was also a very profound and life changing event that has changed me forever. I was shown just what happens as we let go of this journey of life down here, the emotions, feelings…but most of all, the understanding that what we have experienced down here, isn’t the end of the journey…but a profound learning in building that unconditional love in us all.

For others that have read this post, I’m also adding a new section (Part 2), at the bottom of this post for something that I found I needed time to digest and understand, as it was very much outside what we normally view as death. We usually view it from where we are now at, down here contemplating ‘is this it’, ‘what comes next’. But the view I am adding is what I was shown from our spiritual side and just what this journey means to us, as a spiritual being experiencing ‘life’ in our journey.

This can be quite confronting, depending on your beliefs and attitude towards death, but it also does something else that I feel needs to be shown, and that is a truth that will ease our fear of death and help remove that ‘unknown’ factor, at least enough to allow us to understand our journey down here a little better and how we view what we think is the ‘so called’ final act within it.

In removing something that we carry with us all our lives, it can do something wonderful…allow us to live…free from a fear that weighs us down like any fear, and be the truth within, no longer reacting to things around us, but acting from choice and choosing to live while we are down here in this beautiful place!

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Part 1.

Death!

Um, let’s change the subject!

Why? Are you afraid of death? I was, and I have to admit something here, not only was I afraid of death, I totally swept it under the carpet and didn’t want to go there unless I absolutely had to. A family member or friend passes away and you have no choice but to bring it back into view and face that thing that hovers in the back of your mind to which we block nearly all the time. It’s healthy to respect our time down here and know it’s for a finite time. Our fear is only produced because of how we are brought up around it and that little thing called the ‘unknown’ when we finally go there.

Now if it was an easy thing to do we would give it no wisdom, no respect and end it all because things were getting hard and life was becoming quite painful. But that fear, that unknown, allows us to give it the respect it deserves. Like all other aspects of our lives, The Love, The Fear, The Heart, The Truth etc, we do not know or understand these until we go through that journey that relates to each and every aspect of ourselves. That hard and sometimes quite painful time so that we can experience each facet that is our true selves so that we can understand and gain that wisdom of all of these to create the balance that is as unique as it is beautiful. Like a diamond. No two ever the same but indescribably beautiful in their own right.

I felt this on different occasions and it wasn’t until I read a book called ‘Journey Of Souls’ by Michael Newton that I let out this huge sigh and felt this incredible release, and understood and realised I was holding in this absolute fear, ticking away underneath, of a time that IT was going to sneak up on me and drag me away. The explanation in this book had finally touched something within me and for the first time in my life I could let go of this ‘thing’ that had been a part of me, kept in denial, and affecting a lot of things I did, felt and understood within my life. It was amazing just how it affected my attitudes and directions I would take because of that fear. I felt almost afraid to do things that would appear to be simple to most people (then again for them, maybe they weren’t), but kept me from stretching out, and to put it bluntly, live!

So after reading this book about the journey of souls as told by a lot of people under hypnosis, explaining the different aspects of the soul and how it integrates with our bodies in its journey, I let this fear go. The relief and realisation that I had let this affect me in so many ways also let me understand that like all other aspects of our learning and wisdom, I needed to feel that side first (The Reverse), before I could move into that, release and understand where I had come from, so I could now move into where I wanted to be. So many things that had been affected by my holding that fear was now being looked at from such a different space like night and day. The let go, the release, and actually just be me. All this time I had thought I was me. Not even close. I could now see because I had let down that protection, the walls that I had around me, physically and emotionally, I had now let myself see further than ever before. Step out into life differently, freely and more accepting of just why I’m here. I could now see beyond the wall and realise I was deliberately choosing to live. And that fear, the fear of dying, was the wall, and it was keeping me from living. Always it’s the reverse of what we think it is, but with that understanding we begin to realise it’s always the fears that keep us from really going where we want to go. And when we finally realise this, the walls come down, the fear subsides and at last, with the blinkers removed, the vista changes to one of wonder. Of a new experience, a new attitude and a new way of being.

Now up to this point I had thought that I had a good understanding of just what death was, an end to a path that had given me the wisdom and knowledge to realise my truth by releasing so many fears and balancing out my life in such a way as to be able to come from a place within that was truly unconditional. Little did I know. Now don’t get me wrong, ALL I have previously said is my truth, and also very much needed to understand my path as I strive to live on this planet. Spirit in its wisdom let me absorb all that went before so I could truly understand it, integrate it within and be able to express it properly here so that others may understand. But there was one thing missing from the equation that I have mentioned previously, and that is true understanding, to actually experience and feel the action so that you really do understand what has occurred. Like my previous comment, ‘you can be told that if you put your hand in the fire it will hurt’, but you never truly understand it until you do actually burn your hand, and know the incredible pain, agony and hurt that is created by that act. Something you never forget and can describe in detail because of the physical and emotional imprint it leaves on you.

Well, to show you how incredible this journey can become, spirit came to me one night and showed me just what it was that I needed to understand as part of my sojourn on this lovely blue planet so that I can express it here and give you some understanding and idea of just what it is we are here for. Now again, I say that this is my journey, but having said that we can all go on a trip to the city or into the country but some will walk, some will take a bus or train and some will even go in a Lamborghini. The whole purpose is to realise what it means to you in doing this trip. I might not even like Lamborghini’s, but I’d love to go for a trip in one though! Just for that experience. Anyway, this is always about you and what you want to understand and feel that this journey does for you.

Now the following is an account of that incredible experience I had during that night, that brought together quite a few of the subjects that I have been writing about. I had been speaking to several friends about the subject of mortality because of the situation I now find myself in. I had been diagnosed with emphysema at the grand young age of 54 (take note of my smoking for 18 yrs, from 18 to 36yrs old, and working within a coal dust environment for the same period, give it up guys!), and was beginning to realise that this had taken place quite quickly. I had only noticed how serious it was over the last 3 years as I was getting quite short of breath and just thought my studies and writing at a computer was generating a lack of exercise and the relevant lack of fitness. So I now found myself realising that this isn’t what I really wanted out of life, I wanted more time, more quality of giving to life’s better things. What are those better things? I soon realised that when your mortality begins to knock on your door, those things I spoke of before, as in wanting to do things that didn’t seem important, and letting go of things that were important at the time, that no longer seemed important anymore, you begin to see your entire journey from a very different perspective. It lets you look back and understand where you have come from, what you have achieved within yourself, and then adjust accordingly to where your heart wants you to go. To give meaning to your journey and give a truth to just what it is that you wish to become within you.

Now at this point of time I had not had much sleep for three consecutive nights so was quite tired so I fell asleep quite quickly and solidly, but at about 4am spirit brought me up to ‘our’ conversation depth (explained in ‘The Dreaming’), and began to show me an understanding that quite literally took my breath away with it’s incredible inclusion of most of what I’ve written about before under the menu headings, and of how this all fits together. Spirit then also showed me something that left me so totally speechless that when I became aware enough to reach over and record this I actually turned the recorder on and just sat there with my mouth wide open and could not utter a thing. It was so profound that all I could feel was this total elation of understanding, grinning from ear to ear with tears running down my face. And after what seemed like ages I started to speak in a totally awed and quiet voice this vision that spirit had given me as an understanding of this journey that we all take, to find us, to create that beautiful creature that is inside each and every one of us, to finally reach that part we all yearn for and become…an enlightened being!

And this is how it works. All of our lives we have lots of fears that we create, cope with and adapt to within our day to day living. These fears are usually quite strong so they seriously affect what we do and so determine our journey by how much power we give those fears. When we go through a fear the huge release that is generated by this action allows the release of walls we have built, physically in the body as well as emotionally, and opens us up quite strongly to a physical release of endorphins etc and an emotional release by crying or screaming out in joy because you have come through such an amazing experience. This is an ‘enlightenment’, an understanding of what went before, what was endured and what you now feel afterwards. I don’t mean we are now ‘enlightened’, what is referred to as someone who has evolved to such a point that they no longer need the physical journey we are now on. But, I do mean it is an ‘enlightenment’ because it creates an understanding for that particular part of what you needed to understand in this part of your journey.

Now as we cover all these fears within our lives we become more ‘enlightened’ on our path to such a point that your ‘wisdom’ and ‘understanding’ has reached a place that allows you to impart this wisdom to those around you just by being who you now are. Those fears include all those things in our lives like The Love, The Reverse, The Truth so they are integrated into just who you are. You have reached a point that you are more comfortable in who you are, what has meaning for you and you integrate that meaning into your daily life. There’s just one more to go, the one thing that we joke about, avoid, deny, won’t talk about unless we have to, and that is our death. We say and give our condolence’s to friends and family and go through some of the most horrendous times in our lives due to the loss of those family and friends and this gets us the closest to it, but we still do not want to dwell on it in any way. And this is very understandable, who wants to die? Who wants this life to end, and more to the point….what ‘IS THERE’ when we finally let go of this path that we are now on?

I’m now going to put into words something that I find difficult to say in the least. I saw what spirit showed me, I understood what spirit showed me and most certainly felt what spirit showed me. But after all that…the experience left me in such an uplifted state of wonder that I feel I may belittle it for my lack of words or description. It’s like a beautiful sunset. You can say it was beautiful, wonderful and an amazing splendour…but when asked to describe it you say…well, it had oranges and purples and a blue background behind it with a yellow sun….and it just doesn’t do it justice in any way. So…here is my understanding of something that we all will one day touch, feel and understand so as to become that which we all wish to become. That ‘Enlightened’ being that has reached its nadir, its peak, it’s understanding of self.

So spirit says ‘You’re going to die!’. Now if you have read my story under The Love you’ll understand my reply of ‘Speak to the hand!’. And to top that off I already had the understanding that spirit had showed me (in November 2010), that I was going to die when I was 60 years old. At the time I was in the most incredible place of falling in love with the most wonderful woman in the world. I could have moved mountains, smiling like an idiot and loving every moment. And out of the blue one night spirit bobbed up and told me that I was going to die at 60 yrs old. Unusual because I always get a panoramic understanding of anything I get from spirit, a total data set that explains the what, why, where etc. But in this instance it was so abrupt and singular that it left a huge imprint on me by the fact that it was so direct and to the point. Now I know why. I needed to be in that space so that I could understand my journey, my mortality and be able to express this here, and now give this understanding for all that read this and take this journey as well.

Well, spirit thankfully thinks differently to me and with the most loving kindness, gently showed me my journey, how I was going to get there and the reason why I would experience this part of my life. After many, many years of dealing with my lower emotions of anger, hate, fear and balancing them with the happiness, love, and truth using The Reverse, The Heart, The Love, The Dreaming etc as my guide to understanding, and in that understanding releasing those fears that guided my life on an everyday basis, it was time for spirit to show me the final act. The one thing that must be faced that we obstinately refuse to touch, and for a very good reason. As I have said before, we only ever learn something when it has a big impact on our lives, affects us in such a way that we cannot but help to learn something from it, and because of that learn the wisdom that is a part of that lesson. Well this is no different. If it was easy, every time we hit a brick wall of pain, hurt and a loveless time in our lives we would just end it all…and miss the one thing that all this is trying to give us, that understanding, the wisdom, so that we can find the ‘enlightened’ and beautiful creature within that we are trying to become. And as life goes on after each of these hard times in our lives we begin to accept that this is an important part of our journey.

It is a very abrupt, to the point, in your face, meeting with death. You begin to realise that this is it, no turning back or maybe tomorrow is a better day. You have to finally stare it in the face. And it was then that I realised something, while I was seeing this ending, this last act….I was going over many, many things that I had said, did, felt and done with many people in my life, I was…letting them all go…releasing all that had gone before…understood that what I had given was the best I could do and accepting of that…and then another understanding came with that…this was in fact a grieving of that life…something that we never seemed to allow ourselves because society says ‘get up, keep going, be strong’. Which is fine for the support that we desperately need at those times in our lives…but do we truly grieve properly…let go of all those hurts and pain that are a part of this time in our lives…that release and acceptance of what we felt for the loss of that partner, friend or family that we were so close to. But in this instance it is the loss of ourselves…the releasing and letting go of who and what we are…that final thing because there IS nothing else…there is no life to turn back to…no getting on with our lives…trying to pull everything back together and begin again…it is the last let go…total and utter release…and just be.

Going into that grief is to totally let everything go. No hanging on to something to support us. The whole idea at the end is to ‘let go’, ‘release all’ to accept and allow self to come through. It’s a total embracing of death that allows the transition. It is giving to self ‘unconditionally’ and accept who and what you truly are within. The relief is incredible. It’s like the release of the entire worlds troubles and the acceptance of unconditional love all at once. It is very difficult to put this into enough words that it can be understood and embraced for all the different things that it means all at once. Like being in a fairground with so many colours, actions, voices and people all around. It gives such an incredible feeling of wonder, excitement and happiness from all that is around you, that you don’t need to understand it, it just is, and you accept it for what it is. Now, truthfully, that description of a fairground is not close, that is just an idea that may give you an understanding of what I’m trying to explain. When all is said and done, it is just ‘total perfection’. I think even a diamond has its flaws, but not this, this IS a total knowing and feeling of the love and beauty of this wonderful universe that we are a part of…eternally!

And this led to another realisation…spirit on its own cannot touch, feel or sense as is done from within this physical body…it is a total, unique sensation and understanding in its own right. It is a never before taken pathway to be shown and given wisdom for the understanding of unconditional love. It is then that I also realise that the actual journey within this body that we do here on this physical plane on Earth, is such an incredible blessing, to be part of such a beautiful creation to enable us to reach such a point within so that we may be complete. It’s a path that can be so painful, so lovely, so at odds from one moment to the next, that when it is that final time, that last step on your journey to finish who you are, and what you have become, the awareness and beauty that is finally understood, gives such an indescribable joy within as you realise it is all totally there in utter perfection for exactly who you are so that you may understand it and know it’s purpose. Regardless of all the mistakes, problems and horrible times that we have endured it is exactly what we needed to do, so that we can find and understand just who we are within.

It was then that I felt it…I’m wishing to cry at this very moment because of the beauty and love of what this moment means…the understanding of all that went before, the feeling of completeness, the truth of accepting the love that was integrated in all that I had done, the knowing that I can now let go, I am realising that it’s over. I’m coming back to who I really am. Returning to that instance of total and unconditional love. Truly a total acceptance of just being as one again. And as I let go and accept, I feel a release of my body, but there is no fear, no worry of ‘what if’, it’s a complete release of that Lamborghini that has seen me out for many, many years and release it with love as part of who I once was. I am now ‘coming home!’. Coming home to what I’ve always been and now realise, I am. The journey before is now the thing that is ‘not real’. Totally understood but now realised within to be an incredible experience and to add to something that is a completion of who I am. The love that is a part of us always, no matter where we are!

To finally understand this journey, that process of life and the many amazing things that we do within that life, I can now look back and truthfully see, feel and understand it’s purpose. All those things that we toss away in frustration, yell at in anger and even those moments where we really lose it and do some of those things that we totally regret forever are here for a reason. They show you….you! It makes you look inside and talk to yourself over and over and over. Trying to understand why, how you can change it and most importantly give you understanding as to whether you want to be like that or create something better that you do want to be. It’s a long slow process, even though sometimes you want to get off this crazy ride. But in hindsight you will realise that you are probably glad that it did take it’s time and you were able to really gain the understanding and wisdom that is needed for that journey. All of the things that spirit showed me were for my benefit, but for me to understand I needed to go through and feel each and every part so that I may fully understand it all. From the ‘dark night of the soul’ to truly look within after a horrendous part of my life, to understanding myself within so I could partake of life again, then give from each understanding I made as it was integrated into who I was. Each and every aspect I was given changed everything. Allowed me to drop more and more fears so that I could be who I truly am, and more importantly have the understanding that it all comes back to that one thing that everything is a part of…unconditional love! When you finally understand it, it’s meaning, it’s place and it’s part of creating everything by being a total process. The up’s, the down’s, the hate and the love, you then understand it IS a total part of everything. You cannot have one without the other. It is an incredible perfection that allows us all, with all our so called imperfections, to be totally loved and included individually within this beautiful place, and be helped and guided to reach that wisdom and the total love that is there for all.

Just remember, this creation we are a part of, this body that is helping you on your journey, your spirit within that whispers to your heart, is all here for you. It is your time, your creating expression from what you have learned and understood, and your building of that beautiful creature within so that you may reach that place that we all yearn for while on this journey down here. That place of total and unconditional love where all is in place within, the final and total acceptance and love of ourselves, makes us the perfect creation we are meant to be. And finally reach that place, that yearning to connect, and be a part of all that is.

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Part 2.

The above post is everything that I was shown on that journey with spirit…bar one other ‘small’ event that has taken me some time to digest, simply because it is something I have never seen before. And I will be the first to admit that it rocked me, simply because this life teaches a very high understanding of our journey, but as for death, very little. And maybe it is for me to understand for MY journey. Like what I have written above, you may ‘see’ much within it or only confirm what is already known for yourself. Most information can be felt by the truth it portrays within you. You can ‘feel’ a truth by simply in how it makes you feel within. When you sit and speak your heart, totally open, to another, it is a very peaceful, releasing and positive feeling for you. If it is not a truth, it is felt as a binding, uncomfortable and negative experience.

WARNING: Please read all of this section in total or it can be taken out of context. Within your spiritual or soul form you are totally ‘aware’ of everything all at once. There are NO confusing ‘what if’s’ or ‘maybe’s’ or any hesitation whatsoever. You just are. I’m trying to explain something that is a very small fraction of what I felt as part of that whole. As I spoke above of that ‘fairground’ feeling with so much happening around you all at once, it is a million times more complex….but so very much simpler within that state.

Death continued….

So there I was…taking in such an enormity but total understanding of that process of letting go, transferring from that human relating of life to what I really am within, that all knowing, beautiful and peaceful soul that is my normal state. I was in such a loving place that I felt complete, I was home. And in that split second of letting go to start moving towards ‘whatever’ was next…I’ll never know…until I do actually die. Spirit had blocked any further understanding from that point. But in that split second before then, I had seen and felt an incredible understanding that shocked me, and I think that is what had broken my connection with spirit at that point, purposely, so that I could understand what I had been shown.

What I had been shown up to that point is all that mattered for now, it is all that I needed to understand and relate to for where my journey has been going. That split second held a wealth of information and it has taken me over two years to digest and come to terms with what had been shown. And not because of what I was actually shown, as it was a very small piece of that event, but by what it meant to me back down here. (By the way, my references to ‘up there’ or ‘down here’ is just for ease of understanding).

I saw and felt the Earth (down there), but it was disappearing very quickly…but that wasn’t what rocked me…it was the feelings and thoughts that went with it. All I could sense at that time was…it is done…let it go, release it…it has served its purpose. Even the people that I loved and held so close…no longer mattered. I was shocked by my off handed manner. My journey had been completed and so what went before was now irrelevant. There was no longer anything to worry about, I had done what my soul needed to do. Now remember that this is instantaneous, everything is just ‘done’…if I thought I knew what living in the ‘now’ was, I really didn’t have a clue till I felt all of this…it just ‘was’. I’m trying to explain something so that you can understand what I was trying to come to grips with. And it was shown to me this way so I could understand it ‘up there’, and then relate it ‘down here’

Now, if you thought the above was in your face, that’s understandable. So this next bit I’m going to try to explain it in my way the best I can so that you can ‘see’ something and allow you to relate to it properly.

The above didn’t matter to me for a very simple reason…I ‘knew’ that I would see them all again. I didn’t need to think about them in any way quite simply because I didn’t need to worry about it. There were no thoughts of ‘what if’, ‘when’, ‘how’, ‘why’ etc. Remember, the soul is instant, that ‘knowing’ is all. We are only slowed down on Earth to absorb what we are experiencing in human form. Up here it just ‘is’. Now please, do not think that our loved ones are not within our soul/spirits thoughts…with great love they are FULLY aware of our journey back down here and what we are experiencing so that we will be complete in our understanding. I’m only relating this tiny piece for the simple reason that it has great meaning for us to realise ‘some’ of what is happening ‘up here’.

To give this more understanding, let me explain it this way. Let’s say that you are spending time with a friend, you’ve met them at your rendezvous, spent a good time together and you now decide to go to your place for a cup of coffee. Your friend says ‘I’m just going by my house so I can pick some flowers, I’ll meet you at your place in 20 minutes’. You go home and prepare the coffee. In that 20 minutes you do not give your friend a second thought. You have no reason to think anything about them, to worry or even think that they wouldn’t be turning up.
WHY….because there is no need to give it any thought….just as your soul/spirit is doing ‘up there’. They KNOW you will be together again, there is no reason to even think otherwise, it is a ‘known’ quantity. The time between when they have passed over and left the Earth, and when you will be together again, is but a moment.

And I think the reason it has taken me so long to digest all of this, and put into words, is because I have never looked at it in this way. Down here is a whirlwind of ‘what if’s’ of what is ‘up there’. A lifetime of not knowing, and to be truthful because of that, not wanting to look at it. Suddenly I’ve been shown something that really does affect a lifetime’s way of being.

So, what DOES this mean for us ‘down here’? Everything! It allows us to release a fear, you know, one of those things than we drag around all over. Those things that test us in so many ways so that we can go through them and find that love that is inside us all. This journey has so much beauty within it, even though those tough moments really test us to such a degree. I have seen something that has given me such a relief, release and such a greater outlook on life. It is a game changer in everything that I do BECAUSE of that understanding about death.

For most of us we have touched death in varied ways. Acquaintances, friends and those very heartfelt connections of our loved ones that have passed over. The grief is one thing that holds us so tightly because of the loss of that loved one and the beauty that was shared, within that loss. But grief has a huge purpose, it allows us to see and feel something that is built on a love like no other. It also allows us, by that loss and pain, to look within and find another love, one built on the empathy that comes from going through such a time, a healing love that leads to that love within.

I have written this above to give an understanding so that our journey may be a little less fear and pain, and a little more healing love inside so that our paths in that awareness will be built on a stronger love and empathy, and a knowledge that what is waiting, is a beauty beyond anything I could describe. We will miss those that we love, but we will also be with them again…the flowers they are picking as they drop in home…will be a love and beauty like no other.

Ask anyone who is in their sunset years knows how fast time really goes down here, it is much faster than we give it credit, and we can see that as we get older. It is a very short time, and within it is crammed a huge amount of beauty, all so we can find ourselves, that unconditional love that is a part of us all. All too soon this magic is swapped for another (up there). But down here, this magic cannot be experienced up there, that is why we are here. This is ‘our time’ to find that beauty within, not to be experienced in this way ever again. Our journey has great meaning for us all…and then we too will be sharing those beautiful flowers with those we love again.

Namaste

Loving Ourselves!

Loving ourselves (unconditional), is our natural state, it is only the fears and walls that we build that block it. And as each fear or wall is removed we begin to ‘feel’ on a much different level.

It becomes easier and easier to understand and have much empathy for another, because of the love we actually give ourselves BECAUSE we have looked into those fears, had the courage to face them, and once understood we release them, they no longer hold us in the patterns that we give them.

Most people do not understand what it means to love ourselves. When we love another it is built with so many expectations (and I might add, a needed lesson like any other), because we look for beauty, attitudes, strength, and those other things like money, security etc. But when we give love to ourselves….there is no expectation, it is an unconditional love.

We don’t first look for something so that it is accepted when we face our fears, there are no conditions when we finally gain the courage to look within, see our pain for what it is, and finally understand what had kept our walls in place and then by removing them in that understanding, give that love to ourselves within that healing.

We remove the duality of feeling a low sense of self worth (by isolating ourselves by building walls to keep it at bay), and finally accept ourselves for exactly who we are. That is unconditional love, and not an expectation within miles.

Once we give ourselves that unconditional love, we then give from that place. It isn’t until we love ourselves that we truly can love another, with no expectations.

The following is a very profound and beautiful verse that a lovely lady (Christy) shared with me as a guest post on Michelle’s Lipstick and Laundry blog:

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    The Uses of Sorrow

(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)

Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand

that this, too, was a gift.

(by Mary Oliver, from Thirst, Beacon Press, Boston, 2006)

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And yes, that box full of darkness has great meaning. We cannot know that unconditional love until we know conditional love, it has great purpose.

Be brave, be strong and believe in you…for through that darkness is a beauty beyond measure. It is the truth of what you really are.

Namaste

I’m Ok!

But if ok is enough, then you would never appreciate the discovery of that love within. It all leads back inside to finding your truth, that understanding that all your ‘looking’ for something out there, is really back inside your heart. And the only thing that is blocking it, is the fear to look within, that self doubt that we all have from years of having it drummed in that we aren’t good enough, not loveable which builds a wall of self doubt.
Look within, search for that part that upsets you the most, a switch that gets thrown when someone treats you a certain way and upsets you to the core, even creating an anger that you always try to suppress. And we all avoid looking because of that fear, who wants to go into something that makes us feel that way.
But there is your journey, because when you finally really look deep into it and for the first time ‘see’ what has been driving it for all these years….you will finally UNDERSTAND it…and it will no longer hold that fear anymore because you now see why it has held you fast…and you let it go, your life will change to such a degree it will feel like you have been released from jail after 50 years, it is that profound.
You will be changed forever….AND you will feel more closer and loving to yourself because you now see what has kept you in this unloving place. And in that love, you will find that thing that we all search for….happiness.
We had not allowed ourselves to touch that place within through those beliefs of ourselves….now there is no wall to block the truth of what we really are within. The duality that we all must face, to find that unconditional love within us all, can now be felt, seen and released, and we begin to stand in that truth….and just be glad and smile in that knowing πŸ™‚
That is our path in all that we do down here on this lovely big blue planet. It is to find ourselves in the millions of ways that it is possible as we trip, stumble and sway to the rhythms of life. It all points back to how we feel about ourselves and how we express that out into the world.
We all seek that happiness, that well of love that will lift us out of all that we go through and save us from the pain and hurt that this life brings. But within it are great wisdom’s to find that self truth. How can we know and appreciate love unless we are treated poorly….how can we find our compassion and empathy unless we have lost and suffered. All we go through cannot be understood until we actually go through and feel them, the good and the bad.
This journey is filled with great pain, but also tempered with great love so that we UNDERSTAND what it is when we finally step into that love of ourselves….that unconditional love of self. And it is all given with a great love so that we CAN see that journey.
We all know when a truth touches us inside….follow that path…for it is the path home, to that happiness we all seek within.

Self Love!

It takes a big event in our lives to reach that place within where we finally stop, and sometimes after a very long time of persevering with something…a marriage, relationships with friends or family, a personal situation or even at work, and come to that place where we can see that enough is enough.

It is a very pivotal moment. It draws the fears to the surface but now instead of recoiling and trying to shove it down so it can no longer be seen as we usually do, we finally reach a place that we no longer wish to fight this any more and so we step through it. And it will push buttons that you have never tested before, a strange world where you stand up inside and take those first tentative, wobbly steps to reclaim a sense of self and a realisation that ‘I am worth so much more than this’.

And finally, in that realisation you will achieve something that a lifetime had not. The ability to give within…to give that self love from a truthful place and realise you ARE worth so much more.

So starts the journey to stand in that truth and become what this path seeks, the creation of a love that builds an understanding of love inside, but all starting from a place of fear so that we can see and appreciate what it has taken to find that place within. Both have much purpose, as one cannot be achieved without the other. Hard yes, but if it was easy it would be forgotten in a moment.

That relationship you have persevered with has given you the one thing that you have been seeking all your life…to find that self love and the true happiness that it holds.

Lets say your going through a divorce. And your ex-partner was to find another partner who makes them feel all happy, alive and excited with life…inside they will still be seeking their self love in that need to be with another…based on their fears. That happiness they seek can only be found in that self realisation. If you have found the reason that drove your fears within that relationship, you can now release them but not through anger or hurt, but from a place of understanding as you will now realise ‘why’ you were attracted to that relationship. This will allow you to forgive them (and yourself), now in your self realisation of what you have now understood…as they may not have found the beauty of what you have now become, and still looking to fill the pain and loss in their hearts.

This may take several relationships to ‘see’ that you seem to be hitting the same snags in your relationships, going through the same patterns, but this has purpose so that you ‘can’ see what is holding you back, the fear that will be underneath all your actions and keep you travelling that journey. Until finally it all comes to the surface and it cannot be hidden any longer. This is your moment, your chance to release something that has held you forever in a half truth of life, a place that had happiness but always marred by this thing that would pounce to always let you know that it was still a part of who you are.

And as that uproar settles you are now free to truly look inside and understand that the more you act in that self love, and I mean that with integrity and not a selfish way, your life will now slowly find a happiness, a true happiness where you no longer seek another based on those earlier fears of ‘not being loved or insecurity’ because you have now found that within yourself, the entire purpose of your journey.

Self love is an ability to truly look inside and realise what those fears were, and see how they have driven your life in so many ways and held you in those patterns. To face them IS self love for you will give to yourself something worth more than any other thing in this world. It is a freedom that is unbelievable when you finally step past it and feel that freedom for the first time, and in doing so you realise just how constrained you have been in all of your life. That fear constantly held ‘out of sight, out of mind’, not realising just how conformed you have become to living with it riding on your shoulders.

And as time slowly goes by you become more relaxed, more ‘seeing’ the world from a whole new perspective as you are no longer ‘on guard’ for the fear that was always there as you went about your life. This freedom begins to rebuild what you ‘want’ to be, rather than feeling ‘forced’ to be something by the world around you. A happier place where even if anything comes up in your life, your ability to cope is more at ease, relaxed and understanding….because you have been there, have much wisdom because of that journey and can now help others from now being in that place…and glad to do so.

The anger and pain that usually comes with these events are a part of being able to ‘let go’ from the loss of the security and love that we feel we are losing. And usually because it feels like a total rejection of who and what we are, and a very painful experience that hurts because we feel so unloved…and that is the key…it is a fear that is built on our own self worth. Our own inability for self love. And this is built from childhood and the relationships we have with (usually), our parents and how they were able to express the love that THEY were shown by their parents….and on and on it goes. We are always trying to find what we feel we haven’t got. And we feel we haven’t got that love, and the happiness within that, so we try to find that love in others…but it is in our self love that the answer is hidden.

We have been through a childhood where we have felt either a rejection of love, a hurt or a denial by someone we loved and looked up to. And in that is built our self worth. Are we loveable or not? That self worth takes a battering at this time and we spend the rest of our lives trying to rebuilt that feeling of love and connection with another, to rebuilt that loss we hold forever in our hearts as a consequence of this hurt, and to find that happiness again that has so much meaning within it. But when each time we are with another and they do something that gives us that feeling of rejection again, it re-ignites that fear and we jump straight back behind those emotional walls to keep that pain out.

Holding onto the pain and fear will only hold us in that pattern. We must look within it to find why it makes us feel this way…deeper in your heart to find what you are afraid of, and seek its meaning. In that you disarm it, realise the truth behind your fear…AND LET IT GO.

In total truth the above journeys do have great meaning…those relationships that seem to be a horror at the time ARE done from a place of great love, so that we DO find that self love within. Those instances where the world seems to be crumbling around us DO allow us to eventually come to that place within, and in doing so we heal that hole that always seems to be in our lives, and completes us in such a way that we ‘let go’ and no longer hold onto so many things that in the end, have no meaning or worth and opens us back up to that love and eventually give back out what we have now become.

Because I have been on this journey from a healer’s perspective and actively searched for meaning within my journey, spirit has shown me a great deal of understanding as I step through my fears and see those fears within others. We all must go through them to find that self love within, and gradually we are shown where the love really is…inside us, not ‘out there’. And in that realisation we finally see that all the stress and pain in our lives are all built upon the foundation of our fears that we have held in place since childhood. It is our path…a painful one but with an outcome that will far outshine all that went before.

Some people come to us to teach us a lesson about ourselves. And this is the only way to find our truth, to look deep inside by going through a tremendous upheaval so that we can finally see the truth of what we are within and ‘know’ the love of ourselves. If we didn’t we would always be wandering around pointing the finger at the world for the pain that we are in. If you look around you will see this, but eventually they begin to realise that they are changing, and in that change they find a new heart, a new direction and a peace that goes with that understanding. There is a silver lining to all events, it is made that way even though at times it may not feel like it, and slowly we are guided to find that truth within.

This world has many things for us all…much beauty AND much fear, so that we can become what we all truly seek. It is a balance where we will attract exactly what we need to find that beautiful heart within and finally understand the love that we are.

Where is your heart now?

Look inside, find that self love…your happiness is there…that unconditional love that is who you are…you are so worth it!

Splat!

Well folks, I’ve done it again. Another little adventure to see a part of myself that obviously hasn’t been very clear to me.

And spirit being the very loving other half of me, allowed me to have a venture into life, allow me to fall flat on my face, and discover just where my heart is currently at.

Being a regular reader of scottishmomus’s site of poetry and words of life I usually click a like or fire a comment her way as I find the words of her poetry enjoyable. She has a way with expressing something, even if it is about something a little risque.

And she did this the other day with a very well written piece about problems that older , men and women, go through as they get older in life. I laughed because of its relevance and how it strikes us all, regardless of who we are and where we are in life.

And that’s where I decided to give a reply of an incident in my own life…..a very risque one ^^’

Now because of where I’m at in my life I have no problems speaking what is a truth within my life, so I do, without hesitation, because I know it is just a part of life that we all go through.

Well, I sent the comment in reply, and started to feel uncomfortable. So I went for a walk, I had a coffee, I chatted to different people, I got lost in multiple things…and it kept coming back to haunt me.

So I did what I always do and decided I needed to ‘see’ something here or why else the feelings.

So after another 24 hours (and a chat to spirit), I finally realised that my comment was having an effect on me simply because what I had said was an old way of how I used to be.

The following is a quote that I sent to mommus….

“When your awareness reaches where I am at, you no longer do ‘old’ things….like I used to fire off comments like that dime a dozen and not think anything of it.
But because I realise that how I am now within myself, is what I put out into the universe , and then attract back accordingly. I am no longer in that space and the comment has made me feel very uncomfortable.
I suppose its like kicking an old habit…when you do it again after a very long time, you kick yourself and feel daft for doing it again πŸ™‚
But no, I’m not worried about the goody two shoes bit even though I was constantly worried about what others thought of me up until only a few years ago, and I’m just as flawed as the rest of the planet, I can still do daft things (thankfully) as it teaches much, and I obviously needed to see this to realise where I’m now at.
But what my main ‘thing’ was….I have reached a point within myself where I stand in my truth. Now what happened IS a truth, but in understanding that truth you come to realise that they did assist you in becoming what you now are…BUT, they ARE no longer what you have now become. Standing in those old truths again takes you back into those feelings, attitudes etc.
We all change, and as you said, it is part of the process.
To give you an example…when we go back to a place long ago in our lives, it gives a range of feelings, some good, some bad…but almost all of them we think, yes it had its time but I wouldn’t go back there, because we have learnt from that time, we are changed, we are no longer that person. “And can actually feel uncomfortable…BECAUSE we now know better (of ourselves), and are past those times and feelings in our lives. We can even go back into old relationships…but because we have learnt and moved on, it is never the same, we are changed by our experiences.”
It is a natural process to move on, or we would be forever stuck in our childhoods of eating sweets, ice cream and wanting to ride on dads shoulders πŸ™‚
So it is an expectation, a knowing that I have moved past that. Yes, I laughed my head off at your post BECAUSE it was written with the wisdom of a mother, teacher and very funny lady, and because of all those experiences. Your take on life is done in such a way to enable us to laugh at ourselves, it is a very big thing to be able to do that, it is an acceptance of ourselves even though we can do some crazy things.
And those memories are important as they are the guide to our future. The basis of our wisdom and the love that that creates.”

I sent an apology to mommus, and on her post for any offense caused, but truly inside…I think it was because I wasn’t standing in my truth…and I know that isn’t my path.

So, I obviously needed to ‘go back’ and see where I’m now at. No, I’m not a prude or a holier than thou in where I’m at….but, I do know that I’m what I have become…a wiser, more loving and giving person BECAUSE of my journey through all of those things, like we all do as we go through life. And just maybe to pop a little ego bubble that was floating around in my life and make me stop and think a little πŸ™‚

And I accept that, for it brings us closer to that love we all seek within ourselves, a love of that truth within, our truth, by the journey that is us.

Another Wall!

Whenever you put up a wall, for whatever reason, it is to protect your heart! And you will carry it around forever, constantly on guard.

Face it, resolve it…and there is no longer any need to carry around a wall that weighs a ton, emotionally and physically. And it free’s your mind so that instead of constantly being on guard, you now begin to see life differently.

Suddenly you see…a flower, a bird…even a friend from a whole new unworried perspective, and a peace that is so….truly peaceful! Life takes on a whole new meaning…and can finally be lived from a heart that is no longer weighed down and stressed with the pain of that fear. You begin to see the landscape all round, no longer only up to the wall.

Give yourself that courage to ask for help, and share your pain so that others can give you the support to bring that wall down. We all have walls, just because mine is orange and yours is blue makes no difference, a wall is a wall, and its affect is the same, it blocks our view. And our hearts.

If there was a law against emotional blackmail against ourselves we’d all be in jail. Oh, wait a minute, we already are in jail…walls within and all round and not a key in sight because we are afraid to look for it.

Well, it’s time to go past those things that hold us at bay from our truth, and sets us free to heal. Forgive ourselves and start again. Love, and be loved for who we truly are within.

Invite in the engineer’s, go through that emotional blockage that holds you to ransom, and set the charges.

This baby is coming down….

The Walls of Jericho!

Yes, those walls of Jericho were an amazing sight to the enemies of those times. Never to be breached as they were so well built to only allow friendly passage and not those who were against what those within believed and lived. Well, until the spirit of God arrived within the Ark to bring it tumbling down.

A little like those walls we build within, to stop that invader that would dare attack us, try to invade OUR space and force their ways on us. And to test whether those walls are there for the right purpose. Enable those that think like us free access, and refuse entry to those that hurt us and cause pain.

And those invaders are there to do exactly that. They are showing you your fears and walls that we all build to protect ourselves, and they have great purpose.

As you test those walls you realise why they are there, and understand that they were your only way of protecting yourself from what you felt was a very hard, unloving and hurtful experience in your life, so you put up a wall so you no longer get hurt.

And that is usually done as a child when your coping strategies were very immature because you were so young, so a wall goes up because you know no other way to protect yourself, and you then begin to avoid those situations like the plague. But when you begin to realise why you put those walls up and you start to see those coping strategies for what they are and how they are blocking your life, you begin to understand how that blockage is affecting you. And in that understanding that comes from your spirit within, after many, many years, you finally release something that feels like the weight of the world (and to you, it is), has finally been lifted and everything from that moment on changes forever. The change is so huge that you feel a little lost in the beginning because you have never been in this place before. Your life has never had such freedom and an ability to stop and smell the roses….literally.

We don’t realise that this fear has been so integrated to our lives that we are always ‘on guard’ in everything we do…from when we get up of a morning, working, playing or even scratching our nose, it has always been a part of who you were.

Now you are free, and it can almost feel like you are in shock because of that release. But it will be like no shock you have ever felt before. And when reached, you slowly make choices for you for the first time…and not from a place of fear where you are always second guessing yourself so that you don’t have to face that fear. It is a magical place that freedom, as it gives you unfettered access to that beautiful thing inside your heart….you…the true you, that has wanted to escape to a happier place forever. And now you are finally there.

As you release that fear you are no longer giving from a place of fear. We actually project those fears out from us everyday.

As an example, and this is me personally, I always gave to a lady with everything that I was….I would take them out, give them flowers, be courteous by pulling chairs out for them to sit etc. I would smother them in love….but that was the problem, after a while they would hold their hands up and say ‘whoa, that’s lovely but please just slow down a bit’. And I would be all offended, thinking I was being rejected for giving that love. I would point the finger and say ‘it is their fault, how could they possibly not want to be loved’. And because all my relationships ended like this I would always think that they had been hurt by some other man and found it hard to accept that love from some one. Any excuse in fact, bar the one that mattered.
Because I felt rejected from my parents as a child, and felt that total fear of being unloved by the very people that I looked up to and loved, I would bury my loves, with love, so that I WOULDN’T BE REJECTED.

And there lies the rub of my journey. I projected my fear onto all those that I loved. I wanted to be loved so badly, and not be rejected, that I led with my fear.
It is such a subtle thing these fears, and we do the most incredible things to not go through them, not realising that they are there for all to see…AND that they actually attract exactly what we need to go through them. How many fears have you avoided? None, zip, nada!

With great love the universe wants you to understand…you. And within that understanding come back to your truth. Not a wobbly version that is trying to avoid the pain that is carried within your heart for what seems like forever. But the real you within that is a very beautiful and loving person entirely. And as you break free and release that fear, and those negative feelings about yourself that go with it, you finally find that thing that you have always been looking for. That journey of seeking to find that ‘happiness’ somewhere and finally be at peace.

And it can be found…where it has always been, but hidden behind a wall of fear. That fear has great purpose, for it has led you to find this place…and finally understand, and appreciate the beauty that is within each and every one of us BECAUSE of what we have been through.

You are a beautiful soul…something that shines out forever. Believe in that, for at each turn in life a little more is set free and you begin to shine a little brighter each time to stand in your truth and release what you know is no longer you…and be that love that is always there.

Your walls of Jericho will crumble at a shout from you, and a determination within to seek the fear that holds those walls up. They will crumble in an instant when you find that truth that is you…and release you from their bondage forever, to finally be set free.

The Safety of Awareness

Such a beautiful world. So balanced in all its ways. Yes, even the mistakes have purpose, for now we swear upon our hearts that we will never do it again, like so many other things in our lives. But we do….why?

It seems we have this insatiable need to have control of our lives, be in a place where we can handle most of what is thrown at us. And that ‘security’ is the basis of how we can face the world, even though we still find that many things throw us off balance. And we react to those things because they are the core issues of what we are afraid of, even if we don’t see them clearly all the time.

We spend so much time hiding in fear from the bully up the street, building and building this 30 foot monster until the very thought of going out the front door is abhorrent. But the bully is still the kid up the street that only knows that control of his life by what he thinks is ‘his’ safety. And probably totally forgotten about you unless you happen to be his current weaker opponent to make him feel better about himself.

And as our lives go on we build these safety places, places where we feel in control….falling in love, marriage, a home and even some ‘munchkins’ to build that inner peace (ok, the kids may be pushing that a bit πŸ™‚ ).

But in amongst this we get tested. A button pushed here and there, just so we can feel the other side, see where we are not feeling that safety we are trying to build. In general we go through it and feel relieved that we have passed through this and can move on.

But sometimes we really get something prodded so that we are losing that safety zone. Something won’t let go and reaches a point where we have no choice but to face it and go through, what we feel, is one of the most stressful times of our lives. A life issue…divorce, break ups, a death and even a job loss can take us down this path…because they all point to that one thing inside us all that we all avoid as much as possible…that negativity, our sense of worth in whatever form it takes, about ourselves that has been hammered home all our lives by, originally, those we love, but kept alive by those we attract to us.

Attract I say…yes…how many people have you pointed at and said, “she/he is doing it again”, “they never learn”, “I can’t believe this”, about someone else who is going through, for the tenth time, something that you can see is not right and know the outcome because you have been there. But that is the whole point, it is now no longer your fear, it doesn’t have that fearful hold on you any longer because you have gone through it (or never did because you had no fear of it).

But again, that is the entire point. Each and every time you understand that ‘knowing’ inside because you have felt that pain, that terror of going through something that has tested you beyond what you think you could handle, has raised your awareness, given you the wisdom to see and understand that what was underneath was something that you alone had built to protect yourself, but in truth blocked you from seeing the truth inside. The understanding after you go through this is huge.

And it has been given to you in this way for one reason only…to show you the beauty that is you. Underneath all the uproar and that feeling of, “I can’t do this”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m going to lose it”, you show the strength that is really inside and you DO go through it, and finally see the truth of what you are inside…and you begin to stand in that awareness. You reach a point of, “I’m not doing this any more”, “I’m worth more than this”, “I deserve more than this”, and you slowly begin to break free.

Yes, it does take time, but that time is needed so that this very situation retests you, and each time you reinforce those words of worth and deserving a little more. Always more tears and even anger. But this anger is because your heart is asking you step past what you thought WAS your safety zone. That place that kept you in control of where you were at. But it was removed and the change was a serious asking of yourself to step out of that safety and move into a scary and strange world, one where you have never been before. And you will even find that you hold on desperately to this situation as it crumbles around you, out of the fear of losing that safety. Especially if it is a love for another.

Those people we give our hearts to are the one safety anchor in our lives that we think we can rely on forever. But it is also the one place that tears our hearts out. And it must or we will never step through those fears in our lives. We will use our love as a shield, to not see something within ourselves we don’t wish to, or even distract us so that we think everything is ok. But it is the power of that love that will take us on that journey within. It eventually makes us see that place we have avoided and suddenly our safe place is gone.

It is a tough journey, but it must be or we would never face what is buried inside. And after all is said and done, we do begin to love ourselves because of it. We are more deserving, we are worth so much more, and this event will bring this realisation and bring us closer to that heart within. Even the anger of being hurt and what we feel by being treated so poorly by those we loved will slowly subside as we realise that we are in a better place, much wiser, much more loving, because we have loved ourselves more and no longer need our love as a shield to protect us.

Our love for self is enough, we no longer need to rely on another’s love to be safe. And that understanding then allows us to give from that place of self love…and attract the same. We no longer ‘need’ to be in a relationship. We begin to understand that by loving ourselves we naturally give that love out. If we are angry, fearful or unhappy…that is what we give out and attract to us. When we love ourselves truly, go past our fears, we then give from an unconditional place, and attract that unconditional love….and no longer attract a situation where it asks us to go through something within.

And as that awareness grows, the more shadows in your life you go through and the more light you let in, the more that unconditional love shines out!

May your heart find that awareness.

Mark

First Love!

I was just minding my own business, I think
Not concentrating on anything in particular
One of those idle moments when you’re just absorbed in yourself
Off guard, defence’s down, not expecting…anything
And I think that is the secret to this time
The shock of so many things coming together
All in a heartbeat, the twinkle of an eye
The possibility, synchronicities…even the sheer magnitude
Of something coming together in the universe of this scope
Is un-bloody-believable
But there she stood, not spoken or even moved
Just the sheer energy that she gave out left me speechless
Mind you, that is a miracle in itself
And then, as if she knew what was in my DNA, she smiled
I was lost until then, but now really entered somewhere untouched
Thoughts that hadn’t been engaged for…what seemed like ever
Scrambled to make sense of what that smile did within
And then I couldn’t help myself, I smiled back
It felt strange…those particular muscles also haven’t been used forever
But I didn’t care, I felt nothing but the sparkle in her eye
And then she was gone, leaving me gasping for air
Mind altered, perceptions in affray, dopamine charged to high
I was lost again, but this was so much deeper, I almost cried out
But she then returned, and this time she opened her heart and spoke
“Hi!” and smiled THAT smile again
I said, “Hello!” and her smile got brighter
And I knew right then, she was the one, without her I would die.

—————————————

Note*
I saw some magic in another’s eye, brought back memories.
Thankfully much wisdom has been gained for a more true love by being loving to myself, and then give from there.
And they are all First Love’s as we are always in a more wiser and loving place each time we step past those fears and open our hearts again.
Am I ready? πŸ™‚

Emotional Intimacy!

Ok, I’m now going to explain to you something that we all tend to unintentionally avoid. A little thing you can do to change that ‘who you are within’, and create a space that in most peoples lives has been missing due to the rush, rush of life. Or as most people come to realise, the person that they are with, or even themselves, have been raised in a way or been through something that takes this part of their lives away and is replaced with a wall to stop the fear or pain of being hurt or rejected. Or even do not understand its meaning due to never being shown how to express themselves in this way.

Now I’m going to ask you to do something very simple (and to those that know how to…ask yourself, ‘do you really’). I want you to steal 30 minutes from your hectic life, grab your partner and go lay down together (and I mean together, not you on the lounge and your partner on the floor, I want contact here) somewhere comfortable. Bed, lounge, hammock or just out on the grass somewhere (which is so much more grounding and will connect you much closer). And fully clothed thank you!!!

Now I want you to do the unthinkable…I want you to just hold and cuddle each other for 10 minutes and DO NOT talk (especially about any problems, the days uproar, the kids or the stock market). Talking does need to be done BEFORE you get to this position as it will remove any stress, tension or worry that is bothering you. Then you can lay down and not have this need to connect verbally, which is a bonding in itself, but I need your undivided attention on you and your partner and not a mind scrambling trying to sort out a problem.

At the 10 minute mark there should be this thing called ‘relaxation’. But more than that, you have now (and especially if you haven’t done this for a long time), just re-inserted yourselves into each others most intimate zone. (Yes, I probably could have worded that a little better). That connection is something that life tends to keep you ‘on guard’ for, and only a select few are allowed in that place. But life and it’s ‘zoom, zoom’ gradually distracts us and we seem to get further and further from that place that if you really think about it, is so much more inviting than the stress of everyday life. It’s a balance so that life isn’t all work and no play.

Now here is the hard bit. I want you both to touch each other. And NO, I don’t mean sexually! As a matter of fact I want you to be emotionally intimate, not physically. Just very gently, as the urge takes you, I want you to just lightly brush or touch your partners back or neck or hair or whatever you feel is that connection that shows your partner that you are enjoying the energy that is going on between you. Now here is the even harder bit. It can be a very fine line between gently touching someone to express how you are feeling…and not become aroused by the sensation that is developing between you. As a matter of fact it is a very fine line and normally it would be a way of really connecting from there to a very physical encounter which is also fine. But I want you to be strong and resist that temptation.

Over that 30 minute period you may start or stop that touching and go through different feelings and sensations as you hold one another. But at the end you will realise you have gone somewhere very different to what you are used to. Many of us start off this way but eventually reach that point of wanting to do the ‘tango’ and share something on a physical level. And that is fine. But this level of emotional intimacy is something that many of us can find to be quite difficult, due to our upbringing, life as we have experienced it or even many of those fears that won’t allow us to ‘open’ and share at this level. And especially the men. And that is not meant as an insult guys, we are generally brought up to be hard and ‘get on with life and don’t sweat the small stuff’, so that this level of intimacy is very foreign. Whereas the ladies are brought up much more emotionally connected and can express it a little easier.

And that is why we are physically intimate because we don’t know how to, or don’t want to become emotionally intimate. And I do think the ladies miss this type of connection guys. When they want to be cuddled, it is for this intimacy, not the grope, grope, c’mon let’s go into the bedroom. Trust me, if you build this type of trust it will change that connection for you both. You might be pleasantly surprised πŸ™‚

Be gentle with whoever your partner may be as we all have ‘bits’ tucked away inside us and they can be a difficult thing to broach. Take it slowly and at the end you will realise that you have connected on a much stronger level with someone because you have established a very real trust because you have allowed someone into that personal zone and allowed them to see and feel the heart within. For many it isn’t easy because the one thing that this connection does is bring their hearts up to the surface, and in doing so may bring with it the many emotions that are kept close to their hearts on a day to day basis. It can sometimes bring tears…and fears, because with great love you have shown that trust. It is not something given lightly so be gentle with the emotions that are being shared. It can be hard to do, but remember, this is all about breaking down those walls and helping each other to share something that has great meaning to you both.

And even for those that are single, we all need to share our emotional intimacy with those that are special to us, whether they be friends, family or sometimes even strangers. To share our innermost feeling with someone is a healing within itself. It brings a closeness that our hearts need to share occasionally so that the power of those words can help us clear and know that another is connecting with us. And I have seen such beautiful heart connections with so many people and their pets. Now that is unconditional love. I defy one of us to express ourselves so fully with a sloppy grin and a tail that wags forever πŸ™‚

The heart has great power, but it also is built from the most beautiful, gentle things in our life. From giving a flower with love, to the smile of another. All of it has great meaning and touches us all in such profound ways. We must return to that place within to keep our balance, emotionally and physically or we allow the things of this world to keep us away from what has true meaning in this life.

Enjoy that connection, that touch of life that brings a smile within, and you will see you and your partner (furry or otherwise), connecting on a whole new level. Namaste