Becoming The Love You’ve Been Looking For

 
A wonderful understanding of that search for the love in our lives ❤

unfiltered from the heart

Fantasies about knights in shining armor started at a young age for me. I wanted a man to save me from my miseries; to whisk me away on his stead into the sunset. Fairytales, it seems, were a vast part of my psyche.

Then in my late thirties when my marriage dissolved and I was left to face my life, with my miseries and messes, I turned away by looking for the knight in shining armor again; and to no avail. In seeking, I upped my misery. Yet while I sought, I also began to look inward. This blog, in all of its iterations, reflects a good part of that journey.

Today, I am seeing that the love and acceptance I’ve sought in others was quietly waiting…right here, inside of me. Yes, I’ve read in books this concept of self-love. Yet, it was only recently that I began to experience…

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The People In Our Lives!

People come into your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do with that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty…

To provide you with guidance and support…

To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually…

They may seem like they are a godsend, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die…

Sometimes they walk away…

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand….

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled…

Their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has now been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON.

Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons.

Things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life…

Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime

~ Unknown author ~

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They are guiding us towards that self love those many people in our lives…the good ones, bad and in between…they each show us…us!
May those that you meet see the truth and beauty that those before encouraged us to stand in ❤

Finding our Happiness!

All of your life you are seeking that mythical place called happiness. Well…I found it…but not where I was looking.

This world will bring into our lives something called a fear, in our childhood actually, and we spend our entire lives avoiding it, on guard in case it jumps out from who knows where. And one day while I was going through the most horrendous time in my life, I had to look inside it because it had made me reach a point where I finally admitted to myself that I could not do this ‘pain’ thing anymore, I was worth so much more than this.

So I went looking at this thing that kept bobbing up in my life, those relationships that seemed to keep doing the same things to me…and in there was ‘it’. But I had to go digging because as a child my emotional handling capacity was very immature so I had just built a wall, you know, that block, block, block we do with the things we can’t handle emotionally so that it won’t cause us any pain.

But down behind that wall is something so amazing that when you see it, it will blow your mind. It will hit you like a steam train, simply because its simplicity will be incredible. But its power in that moment will awaken the slumberer, again simply because of the understanding of something that has held you at bay for many years. And in that moment the fear will lose ‘its’ power forever.

It will set you free…and a happiness we had searched for, for so long, will empower you with the one thing we have been missing for so long…that ability to love ourselves ❤

Is there a 'happy ever after' in this world…you better believe it my friend…and its got your name all over it ❤ 😀

The Love in Time!

Many years ago I had an ‘event’ where I was with a friend suffering from a bipolar condition, and during the evening she was emotionally escalating and I could feel the emotional pain that she was beginning to go through. And as my heart went out to her because of the fear I could feel within her, something happened. In that instant I was suddenly no longer there, I had opened and given from my empathy so deeply that I ‘let go’ of this world and was in such a place that was so beautiful, peaceful and loving. One moment I was touching that place where you feel so heartfelt for someone else’s pain, and suddenly I just ‘let go’. My awareness knew no bounds and an elation beyond anything I could describe even though I could still ‘feel’ myself sitting on my lounge…but not.

And while I was within this place I ‘knew’ everything, I did not have to ask. And the one thing that did stay with me was the total unconditional love all around me…because I had ‘let go’ of me and given with such an open heart, no longer guarded and held by those things that hold us back in ‘this’ world. And that there was no ‘time’ as it did not exist in a way that I could measure or feel its progress, it just ‘was’.

Well since that ‘event’ I have noticed something quite interesting. Depending where we are at within ourselves time does some amazing things. Have you noticed that if you are in a beautiful place feeling happy and elated, that time seems to fly on by. But if you are in an unhappy, or sad place, the time seems to drag on, especially if it is a time of real pain like the passing of someone very close or going through a divorce etc, almost to the point you can feel each and every second that goes by. There are even times that when something really amazing in our lives happens, time seems to almost go in slow motion, like we’re trying to absorb every single second of something that has great meaning for us, and we look back and ask ourselves ‘what just happened?’ as we relive something that leaves a great impact on our lives. We even think it flew by, even though we can touch many emotions and feelings that went with each and every part of it. One of those events that we never forget because it touches us so deeply.

I feel that time is our teacher, coming here so that we can fully experience the many things that we go through, touching the feelings that they bring. Slowing down in those hard parts to appreciate just what message they bring, so that in understanding ourselves a little more, that self love is built a little stronger and our vibration speeds up, coming a little closer, clearer and quicker to our destination.

When we are so madly in love, we feel we can fly, time no longer has any meaning…imagine where we would be when we love ourselves unconditionally…and it IS there waiting for us, I have touched it, when I fully opened and let go of this world. And we are all capable of doing that because that is what this world is built on…finding more love and empathy each time we go through those many hard things, able then to give that empathy to another because of what we have experienced.

But most of all, they each show us our love, unblocking those many fears in our life, unraveling what holds us back. Those fears block time, almost making it go backwards as we go through them many times, asking us to relive their pain so that we can break free in their understanding. Finally letting go of that time loop that we always seem to be in.

Have time for another in their time of need, it will speed theirs up. But most of all, have faith and believe in yourself, that self love is the cushion of time and will soften and speed this flight of a lifetime and show you an amazing journey in each step you take.

How many times have you come close to ‘letting go’ and opening to that place within, touching something so profound in the depth of your many emotions, opening your heart to the beauty of love’s tenderness? It is there…waiting, for it knows your destination, using a timetable so incredible that you will look back and see the many visits where your heart did open and show you a new path, each one coming closer to that place we call home. That final time when we ‘let go’ to be that timeless unconditional within us all ❤

I Had Lunch With God……..

 
No extra words needed…

Boundless Blessings by Kamal

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A little boy aged 8 years old told his mother that he wanted to meet God. His mother very sweetly told him, ‘Okay, dear but where will you find him in this vast Universe.’ The little boy insisted that he would set out to look for God and come back safely once he did.’ His mother knew that was not possible and did not seem to argue with him. She knew he would come back home so she packed his suitcase with two sets of his dress, a water-bottle and some packets of cakes for him on his way. The boy very happily started his journey, he walked a long distance and found a park! He was feeling tired so he decided to sit in the park and take some refreshment and water as he was feeling thirsty too. He opened a packet of cake to eat.

A little distance away…

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Tree’s!

I read these words by Ram Dass over on Grief Happens blog, and like her I thought it appropriate for the season too…

 

‘When you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees.

And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever.

And you look at the tree and you allow it.

You see why it is the way it is.

You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way.

And you don’t get all emotional about it.

You just allow it.

You appreciate the tree.

The minute you get near humans, you lose all that.

And you are constantly saying ‘You’re too this, or I’m too this.’

That judging mind comes in.

And so I practice turning people into trees.

Which means appreciating them just the way they are’

 

And at the bottom of her post she simply says…

‘Who are you turning into a tree this holiday season?’ 😀

Compassion! (The Post)

‘Our love, our compassion is in understanding the tears of another, and sharing that moment with them…our hearts cannot connect in a more truer way, hence the power within that moment’

What an incredible word. It brings so much feeling to whatever it is applied to.

But…why is it that some people have it, and others appear to have none. Where is this switch that it can be on or off at the drop of a hat?

And that my dear friend’s is where the secret of compassion is.

We all have compassion because it is built on our ‘experiences’ in this life. And if we aren’t shown compassion in our journey, we find it difficult to show others. But it is very difficult to have true compassion for someone when they are struggling with something that we don’t truly understand, because we haven’t experienced it.

I would feel compassion for a man who is married, lost his job and has fourteen children and struggling to make ends meet…but, when I realise he sits around all day drinking and chatting to his friends with not a care in world, my compassion diminishes…why?

Because my upbringing in life tells me that I should put effort into things, to achieve by that effort and within those struggles to create what I want, is the path I should take. And I measure everyone else by that, realising that everyone does have different dreams and hopes in this world, so shouldn’t be judged by their different dreams or their efforts. But to actually sit around and not really try to do anything lowers my compassion because I only see laziness or a lack of effort.

So in judging this man, I confront him and say ‘what a life! I wish I could do this, lazing around drinking and chatting to friends all day, it would be fantastic’. To which he burst’s into tears, shows much emotion to this accusation. And then begins to tell me of his journey where as a fireman he had rushed into a building to save four people, two adults and two little children. He had brought them out but heard their calls for their pet dog, to which he went back in but was caught in a collapse and badly injured by breaking his back and burning his lungs. Hence the sitting around drinking and chatting was just his friends giving him compassion for what he had gone through. And the fact that he could no longer contribute to himself, family or community because of what had happened.

I would be stunned, my compassion going through the roof for this man that had put his life on the line for the safety of others.

So because of what I had seen and experienced in life, I was judging another, when in truth I had no idea.

My compassion has changed five times in relating the above story. But why?

Well, in saying the above, there is one more thing that drives our compassion more than any other thing in this world.

Yes, our experiences are a big driver. To experience something means we can have true compassion because we relate to it directly, and can then truly understand what another is experiencing. But even then there is one other thing that will affect our compassion, and by its very nature it is a block to all that we do.

Our world is built on ‘conditional’. Loaded with it. And as we grow up it will implant its fears in such a way that we become that ‘conditional’, avoiding many things because of their pain. And in doing so we ‘hold’ much emotion within…because of that pain, and the love that we feel we are losing or we don’t deserve. And those walls are a buffer to the one thing that this life is trying to teach us. To love ourselves!

We cannot give out what we cannot give to ourselves. We are a reflection of what we are. If you are angry, you give out anger. If you are sad, you give out sadness. You can cover it by ‘acting’ a certain way, but deep inside you are still the person that you are from your experiences.

So our compassion is built on our experiences and how we are able to reflect that into the world.

Now I’m going to rock your boat a little further. Spirit said to me…’We know everything, but we do not ‘know’ it!’. Meaning that as Spirit they too must experience this conditional world to understand ‘unconditional’ love. That is our whole purpose down here. It is the only thing we take back ‘up there’, the compassion and love that we experience and develop ‘down here’.

So I will tell you something that happened to me many years ago.

I was with a beautiful friend who was going through a very rough period with her diagnosis of being Bi-Polar. During this afternoon I was watching her escalate beyond anything I could even imagine, becoming angrier and more agitated as the afternoon went on…and as a healer I could ‘feel’ that struggle of this little frightened girl inside struggling to come out of this wilderness that she was in…and my heart just ‘opened’ with so much compassion, and my heart totally went out to her.

And the most incredible thing happened…I was suddenly no longer there, I was ‘somewhere’ that could touch and feel everything. I no longer needed to ask any questions…I ‘knew’. Time was irrelevant, and the most incredible love and compassion I could never put into words, I would diminish it if I tried. But the one thing I did know was…I had ‘let go’ of my worlds fears and totally gave from my heart to this friend from a place I ‘know’ is within us all, a place that is all our destinations as we experience everything on our individual paths. And to reach this place we ‘need’ to have ‘conditional’ so that we can then truly ‘know’ and understand ‘compassion’, to achieve that ‘unconditional’ place within us all. We cannot ‘know’ happiness, unless we ‘know’ sadness. We cannot ‘know’ compassion, unless we ‘know’ fear. We cannot ‘know’ unconditional, unless we ‘know’ conditional. They are all our experiences.

So my journey has been built on that understanding, that all that we do is guiding us ever closer to that unconditional love that we all seek. To find that happiness within that is built on our ability to find that compassion within all that we do. And do it we will, because all experiences show us more and more of who we truly are within, the beauty that is only a wall away from a freedom like no other, and that happiness that we all search for.

I no longer judge anyone…no, not even a murderer. They too have their journey that affects them and all around them…but it all has purpose, to find that heart within by ‘seeing’ and ‘experiencing’ and find that balance inside, the one that says go past my fear, understand that it is just in place so that I can ‘see’ the truth within, release the duality of not loving myself because of that fear, and find that oneness that will make us whole once more.

My journey.

I have been blessed with touching something that is initially unseen by this world. And when I was ready, it came knocking to see if I was listening. And when I was ready, going through one of the most tumultuous times in my life, I was at a place where I asked God, ‘Why?… what meaning was there in such a ‘dark night of the soul’ experience. Show me, at the least, some purpose in what we do’.

And God did.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I had made the decision in my life to have meaning in what I do, so I became a Remedial Massage Therapist to help heal others. And it was within those healing’s that I began to actually ‘see’ myself within others as they responded to me. And as this grew, from each fear that I faced and understood, the clearer I could ‘see’ and understand others. The more I opened my heart to myself, the more I could share that opening to others. And as each step was taken, spirit would show me many things to understand what this journey really means.

I have shared what I was shown over the years here on my blog site. And with those incredible experiences is the one thing that spirit has always been very constant with…we are all here to find that self-love, it is what unconditional love is…that ability to no longer hold anything against ourselves, that negativity, self-loathing or fear because we feel we have been rejected by those we love and look up to as we have grown up. Always thinking deep down, ‘they don’t love me, there must be something wrong with me for them to treat me like that’ and not feeling loved because of those actions, and building emotional walls to block the pain that they cause. And we hold those doubts for a very long time, slowly simmering below the surface in all that we do.

Then along comes that event , a divorce or a death of someone very close, or a rejection from those we love, that will bring it rushing back up so that we can begin that journey to break free from our fear, a rebirth if you will, to finally understand and be released from its shackles…and touch that happiness we have always looked for.

And have that one compassion that always seemed to elude us…that compassion for ourselves.

Only then, in ‘knowing’ conditional, will we then ‘know’ unconditional, and a true compassion in all that we do.

( me 😀 )
I thought I better add a picture so everyone would finally ‘see’ who they were ‘listening’ to.