Our Nakedness!

I am walking down the middle of the main street of my town, many people on both sides. Each step I take shows me a different part of the street, a new shop, different people…even the energy can be felt at levels never before touched. I have started at the beginning of the street, slowly making my way along its length and the people are quite loud. It is laughter and becoming quite distinct, and for some reason I’m really affected by it, squirming at each step and afraid that it is at me.

Then I realise why…I’m naked…exposed physically and emotionally, and totally at odds with the environment and bringing myself to the attention of one and all. There is nowhere to go, nowhere to hide…I just have to keep walking. At each step I begin to hear voices now, but they are no longer laughing, they are now voicing their concerns, branding me with their shock at what I am doing, letting me know that this is not acceptable. Many emotions can now be distinguished, laughter becoming embarrassment, raised voices becoming more stern and touching on anger as their judgement comes to the fore. I try to disappear in plain sight but regardless of my direction I must face what is happening.

And in that humdrum of noise it is my turn to be shocked, and strengthened by a lone voice, one of praise for daring the un-darable and standing in the nakedness of my truth, no longer masked by my fears. It puts another brick into the foundation of the path I am walking.

I have almost reached the end of the street and an overpowering urge to stop and look back overcomes me. And in that moment I finally ‘see’ where I have been and realise this is my life’s path. Many judgements from all around, reinforcing beliefs that were never mine, but locking me into their owners. All of these built on the fears that they held from that very same process I now tread.

My walk has taken quite a long time and I now realise that as each step gives me these understandings my nakedness no longer matters, and in fact has built a quiet strength as my belief in self grows. The people back at the beginning of my walk have forgotten me and moved on. I can see everything that has been directed at me was only coming from their fears, their embarrassment, their inability to deal with a moment because of where ‘they’ were at within themselves as they deal with their own ‘naked’ walk.

 

So, what does this all mean. No, I didn’t dream the above, it was shown to me after a little wander into my own main street that lives within each of us. In fact spirit has taken me on a guided tour ‘back’, and I mean ‘way back’ into my past, the beginning of my walk up that same main street to a time of my childhood to where my fears of rejection were really being ‘locked in’ at around that tender time of 9 years old.

That rejection I felt was a lack of love from my father and my attempts at gaining it by doing so many things to please and being knocked back each time until a coping strategy was put in place to deal with its pain. A wall of fear. And each time I faced that rejection in the future it would raise its head.

I thought I had faced that life fear over the last couple of years and understood that journey…and I had as an adult…but that 9 year old was still lost and needed to touch that understanding and the reassurance that it brings.

Over the last couple of years I had met this very nice lady that had an incredible energy that always gives me a signal that something is about to happen. But as the years went by nothing seemed to be occurring so I thought that it was just something in the ‘connection’ and it was doing its thing. Little did I know I was being prepared for that event.

I have visited this ladies home out in the country a few times now, each time to mind her home while she was away or on a mercy errand to help with a healing with her animals. And to be truthful, an enjoyable re-connection with her and my childhood love of nature growing up in a similar place.

But on the second last visit she had given me some Bowen Therapy that released something very powerful within me. And as I was minding her home while she was away at a workshop I was left to fend for myself, not realising I was about to re-enact those childhood fears in a big way.

When I was a child in those moments of rejection I would go out into the nearby forest, lay down in the long grass and just close down and hear the nature all around me, wind blowing through the tree’s, and an intense loneliness would envelop me. The first night at this ladies home after the Bowen Therapy felt exactly like those moments in the forest. Her home buffs against a state forest, so wind in the tree’s, birds and other animals calling…and that loneliness descended like a blanket, to a point that I was almost in shock because of my reaction.

At first I wasn’t sure of what it meant, an emotion that seemed to touch me and leave me drained, but with no understanding to follow. But the next journey to her home months later now finally opened that door, allowed that 9 year old to touch a missing link but with the wisdom of that hindsight above, and look back into my journey to ‘see’ a time traveled and why I reacted as I did.

I’ve seen that my dad had also been treated that very same way by his father and it was all he knew. He could only be what he had become on that journey, given to him by those he loved and looked up to, just as I had through my life. But understanding changes us, and that wind in the tree’s showed me that I have come a long way indeed, so far that I can now see, forgive, release and become the nakedness of my truth, no longer held back by thinking it was ‘others’ and uncovering those things that I had buried through fear.

It was a raw touch of those past feelings of a 9 year old, but for that 9 year old to see those truths and finally understand them released a way of being that had held him for way too long, no longer stealing life by living within those shackles that we mold because of our journey.

The road has cleared a little more, the light is extending further on my path, and an acceptance of myself has shown me that even though these paths are pretty rough, beneath them all is a love like no other, under those muddy steps there really is a yellow brick road for us all. The peace that has descended on me is quite profound, even though I feel I am still in shock dealing with these understandings. So much so that on arriving ‘home’ I feel very disjointed like I no longer live here and feel that I’m in a strange place. But the overall feeling is one of change, the releasing of the old so that a new path can be built. No longer ‘reacting’ to life but one of building a future of wherever I wish to go.

There may be more to add to this story yet as time goes by but its like going through any event, when we look back we see it with new eyes and understand it in its different pieces until an acceptance of who and what we have become because of it settles into place.

And in fact, and to be totally honest…at the moment I just feel like sitting in the sun and eating an ice cream…I wonder where that 9 year old really is right now, do we ever really leave them behind, no longer a part of what we have become? πŸ˜€

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54 thoughts on “Our Nakedness!

  1. I think I have this in common with you. My Dad. I have that wall of fear that you speak of and I have been working on it as best as I can these past few years. I am more accepting of myself now than I once was and I think this helps. Your writing always resonates well with me and it inspires me to better myself so I thank you very much for that! I do pray that you are well and happy. God bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Christy, I am doing well but I cannot say the same for my blog at the moment, it is being quite frustrating by not allowing me to receive posts, give comments or likes, and just being a pain. Some do come through like this comment of yours, but that only makes it more confusing, why does one but not others come through. But I think most of the problem is I am being blocked because I am facing something that requires a little more time than I would be able if everything was working ok πŸ˜€
      I’ll just ‘let go’ for a while and watch what develops.
      Glad to hear your resonating from my post, our fathers gave us something to ‘see’ within ourselves. Yes, it takes time, but that very time will build an appreciation and love of ourselves so that we can then ‘give’ from that very place, no longer ‘holding back’ from our pain. Once we understand the cause it no longer holds us in its thrall…and we are free, in more ways than one. Keep following that path, the answers are all just inside our hearts awaiting that moment to speak those three words that will reverberate forever ❀

      Liked by 1 person

        • Your blessings taken with gratitude kind lady, thank you. Sending much love and light your way also, may your journey be lit by your discoveries as each token of love, and even those trips and stumbles, can be truly seen for what they are, a blessing indeed ❀

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  2. To know who you are as a person, you need to have some idea of who you have been. Our memories are our reason, feeling and action that connect to the inside mental reconstructions of how things were, and that are shaped by how things are now. What an enlightening journey, Mark!
    For me, I have many details that are blurred or out of context, so I tend to tailor my own personal experience, emotions and sensory impressions of specific memories. It might be a fictional longing that wants to repair itself or a deep sensory mechanism I myself wanting to forget. Memory is like that. It makes us all storytellers…

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    • Hey kind lady, it is good to hear that lovely voice. And yes, our journey has many parts for us to see, hide from, venture into and finally understand them so that we no longer have to fear them. We do design our memories and usually, as you said, in our own constructs until we can truthfully see what they are built on…and in that understanding are set free. I can never stress enough just what that freedom really means, to explain to someone that it isn’t just walking out a door to freedom, it is a lifetime of holding ‘things’ so tightly in fear, that the ‘let go’ is initially a shock because we can now ‘see’ what had been there all along but our constructs had hidden it from us. We had lived a lie, so to speak, so that we would gradually face this thing and finally see for the first time that it isn’t so much the fear, but our ability to face it, and be changed. We then see our journey, that hard slog through many years of pain, and finally love the one person we had never allowed to touch that love…ourselves. Yes, we give ourselves lots of things, pats on the back, feeling good about how we deal with things…but it isn’t until that break free that we finally see that what we had truthfully done had been to block our love because we felt we were un-loveable, built from that childhood of fear. But it all has purpose to reach that final destination, to appreciate what we had endured, and see what is truly beneath all our pain. A love, peace and happiness that we had been searching for all our lives ‘out there’, gently awaiting this moment to envelope us in its beauty ❀
      Glad to hear you Linda, excuse my silence, I have had nothing but grief from my blog after what appears to be after I tried a 'test' of a new section in WordPress which has totally trashed my site. I get barely any posts, comments or likes, I've tried re-follows, manually tracking everyone down and commenting on their sites, and even praying πŸ˜€ But spirit said have a break because you have some work to do…mainly on me because of my last post, but also an urge (and the timing has been spot on, as usual), to do more face to face healing. I've suddenly had many friends going through some very traumatic times so I've gone back into my counseling but because of what I have been through recently it has been 'flowing' from a different place.
      So my friend, I am happy to hear from you and I will try (a bit later), a new theme to see if that shakes it loose, but if not I will have to do a new site which I'm not to keen on but maybe that is what this is all about, a renewal from the ashes to raise like a phoenix and become new again πŸ˜€

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  3. I so resonate with your story Mark… my whole life has been about being careful of others, don’t offend them, get their approval and find a way to fit in❀️ Until I had to break away and discover the truth hidden within… which slowly over the years I allow it to release… as you allow your final roots of truth to be revealed. So IAM sitting with you on the side, eating ice cream, our inner child finally at peace integrated within us now. Ready for the grand celebration of dancing quite naked, joyous and living in harmony with allπŸŒˆπŸ’ƒπŸΌ Lovely to hear from you Mark, hope you’re enjoying life… much love Barbara x

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Barbara, it has been an interesting Carousel ride, lots of colour, movement and emotions overflowing. But to find that final inner glow was like at the end of the days rides…overtired, overstimulated but most certainly at peace within with the knowledge that we have ‘touched’ something that had been missing in our lives and now feels complete ❀ πŸ˜€
      My thanks for your resonance in our journey kind lady, and the many more ice creams to be delighted in as we 'touch' those adventures within πŸ˜€ ❀
      P.S. Excuse my lack of replies, comments etc, spirit has my computer and blog in stasis, even the keyboard has started to write odd things (and yes, I've replaced it 4 times 😦 ). Hopefully I will resume normal transmission soon πŸ˜€

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      • In an authoritative voice claim your technology to connect with you so you can continue to support and inspire the world… as well as practice your energetic connections we all have together! We’ve all missed you… but understand the adventures within that take priority! Glad you are well and feel at peace, Much love mark, Barbara x❀️

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        • I shall my friend, I will call to re-open my path and spread the love of that inner journey, and light the way as only it can ❀
          Much love to you also Barbara, may your ice creams be plentiful for that child within us all ❀ πŸ˜€

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    • Hey Kristine, thank you and I’m glad to hear ‘another’ voice. I’m still getting barely any posts, comments or likes even though I have re-followed everyone I could possibly think of. And to be honest I still think I’m being blocked by spirit, this journey still has a few understanding to find yet, it was a bigg’un. And I have ‘felt’ that I may have to do a blog rebuild from scratch, maybe with a book attached πŸ˜€
      Your blessings gratefully received, as was your cheers for a bigger ice cream…that particular item was taken with an extra scoop and then some πŸ˜€

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    • Hello Yvonne, your healing hug gratefully received dear lady, and even that 9 year old will graciously receive it too ❀ πŸ˜€
      And what a trip down memory lane, so to speak, to begin anew with a much clearer view πŸ˜€
      And just to let you know how strong these full moons are, another good healer friend of mine cracked her ribs on Wednesday, bringing up memories of an old accident and the memories that they held. We all seem to be going through 'the mill' so to speak so we can 'let go' of those old bits that are no longer required on our journey.
      Yes, they taught us well, but it is time to take another step into the unknown and let the universe know that this time we are ready and willing to hold our heads up and believe in what we are becoming πŸ˜€ ❀ xo

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  4. You’ve been on quite a journey Mark. I too have found that once you understand why your parents reacted the way they had then you learn to accept them and forgive them. And once you connect with the small child that lives within you then you can totally feel free and whole. It’s a shame that so many of us have had to go through the mistakes of the parents, but it is a journey that is rich along the way and will make us better people. So happy to see you back πŸ™‚

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    • Thank you kindly Michele. And you are so right, that interaction of child and parent does need to occur, good and bad, to finally understand that love we are all looking for. And in that understanding we can finally ‘see’, and forgive them and us…and be free πŸ˜€
      Glad to be back, even though this blog is still wobbling. One day I can’t do something and the next it allows it…I’m still trying to figure whether it is spirit or other gremlins in the works πŸ˜€
      I must add that there is still much happening in the background in all this, so the ‘event’ still may have something more to say.
      My friend with the horses that I had stayed at for a while went to the Dr’s today because of the pain she was still getting. It appears she has fractured her hip and she needs a major operation immediately. The Dr was stunned that she was walking around on crutches, he had never before seen anything like it, she should be rolling around in constant pain.
      I did lots of healing on her and could feel the heat and pain in her hip but I did not feel the fracture. I feel a bit guilty for that because I thought if she was able to move around it couldn’t have been anything worse than very bad bruising and inflammation.
      I think I may stick to healing hearts, at least I can ‘see’ them πŸ˜€ ❀

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    • Thank you my friend, it took some big steps but has cleared some cobwebs to something that has been waiting for me for some time. Life seems to be flowing a little more gently πŸ˜€
      Thank you for sharing my journey πŸ˜€

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  5. Dear Mark, what an epic journey you have taken, as each road, each experience awakens in us another layer still buried deep within as we uncover ourselves layer by layer..
    It’s a journey more now are finally coming to expose their inner selves, and often at times, that rawness of the first wound hits us and rocks us as we fight to regain our balance..
    but each ebb and flow brings us ever nearer our centre..

    I so thank you for sharing Mark… And I hope also that as we travel deeper still we come to the centre of our BEing, to at last regain the peace of our inner child..

    Love and Blessings and so good to see your post today.. ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good to be back Sue. I finally decided, before I went away again, to just let it go and stop trying to fix something that didn’t want to be fixed. I needed to do ‘me’ first πŸ˜€
      When I came back it was just working, and I ‘know’ who was behind that lol πŸ˜€ ❀
      Glad to hear your voice again, and for me from a more balanced place, if still a little wobbly πŸ˜€ ❀

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      • Remember you told me ‘Small Steps’ it takes lots of little steps, but we get there.. And when we arrive, we are stronger for them. And each time we fall, we get up stronger still regaining our balance…
        Stay Blessed Mark… you are a special person… ❀ πŸ˜€ And your words have often helped me over my own obstacles.. ❀

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  6. Hi Mark – great story of healing a lost aspect – your 9 year old. I believe we have aspects of ourself that have split off from us due to trauma and intense emotions we can’t manage at the time. You went back and retrieved your 9 year old from that timeline and he is most likely with you now – growing up in your heart. I received some of my pieces like this – they came to me in a 2 week vision and I wrote about it and turned it into a book. It’s great to get the information out that people can go back and retrieve their pieces, closing that timeline so they are no longer subjected to the energies that had them split from us in the first place. Wonderful journey you are on!! Thanks for sharing! Donna

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    • Thank you Donna, I actually had not put the pieces fully together until you have just said this now. I was trying to understand that 9 year old getting ‘stuck’ and coming to the conclusion that this part of me as an older person was being ‘held back’ and needed that 9 year old to understand and let go. It was an interesting journey to see something outside my ‘normal’ healing, especially as it was myself. But we can only help another when we understand something. A bit like me trying to teach someone engineering when I’ve only done 2nd grade maths πŸ˜€
      So many thanks, you have allowed me to view it from a different perspective and understand my healing (and others), that we do get blocked, hindered and taught from many events and aspects of our past ❀ πŸ˜€

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    • It is an amazing Therapy, very gentle but can move mountains. I have seen and felt the most amazing things from the moves that they use, even to the point of people releasing very old emotional holding patterns and injuries and getting relief for the first time in many years.
      My very first website (a shared project when I was studying) was done for a Bowen Therapy teacher who goes around the world teaching it to one and all. If you are interested it is Great Lakes Bowen, in Australia. It has a links page to many aspects of the Bowen Therapy and a Worldwide Directory to find Therapists πŸ˜€

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  7. This was fantastic Mark. You hadn’t mentioned about Bowen like that before I don’t think. I had an amazing session on someone suffering from ME as he has a very long association with this problem. He couldn’t believe the release he got with his nervous system. After only a few sessions and 22 years of symptoms. I said to him, you didn’t expect such a gentle touch would ignite anything like that. I know myself the meaning this can give you and I hope more people can experience the energy this treatment can bring. Please come see me when you are in Sydney next Mark.

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    • I was amazed at my first treatment with Bowen Therapy. Initially I could feel so much releasing physically only to be blown away with the emotional content that was contained within them. I ‘felt’ my body as it let go over many weeks. The most incredible part was feeling my emotions releasing in tune with where my body was in a holding pattern. And all from some very gentle moves you spoke of πŸ˜€
      And to make it much easier I have one of the first teachers just around the corner whom I know well. She fixes me in a jiffy πŸ˜€
      If I make a journey that way I will try a visit. I don’t travel too much these days due to my crushed disks in my neck. A lovely days travel turns into days of pain. I’m just trying to grow some wings to see if I can travel softer πŸ˜€
      Thank you for the offer though, it is much appreciated. And I do hope your journey is in that ‘softer’ region kind lady ❀

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  8. Pingback: Our Nakedness! β€” Healing Your Heart! – healthy bodies happy life

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