‘Our love, our compassion is in understanding the tears of another, and sharing that moment with them…our hearts cannot connect in a more truer way, hence the power within that moment’
What an incredible word. It brings so much feeling to whatever it is applied to.
But…why is it that some people have it, and others appear to have none. Where is this switch that it can be on or off at the drop of a hat?
And that my dear friend’s is where the secret of compassion is.
We all have compassion because it is built on our ‘experiences’ in this life. And if we aren’t shown compassion in our journey, we find it difficult to show others. But it is very difficult to have true compassion for someone when they are struggling with something that we don’t truly understand, because we haven’t experienced it.
I would feel compassion for a man who is married, lost his job and has fourteen children and struggling to make ends meet…but, when I realise he sits around all day drinking and chatting to his friends with not a care in world, my compassion diminishes…why?
Because my upbringing in life tells me that I should put effort into things, to achieve by that effort and within those struggles to create what I want, is the path I should take. And I measure everyone else by that, realising that everyone does have different dreams and hopes in this world, so shouldn’t be judged by their different dreams or their efforts. But to actually sit around and not really try to do anything lowers my compassion because I only see laziness or a lack of effort.
So in judging this man, I confront him and say ‘what a life! I wish I could do this, lazing around drinking and chatting to friends all day, it would be fantastic’. To which he burst’s into tears, shows much emotion to this accusation. And then begins to tell me of his journey where as a fireman he had rushed into a building to save four people, two adults and two little children. He had brought them out but heard their calls for their pet dog, to which he went back in but was caught in a collapse and badly injured by breaking his back and burning his lungs. Hence the sitting around drinking and chatting was just his friends giving him compassion for what he had gone through. And the fact that he could no longer contribute to himself, family or community because of what had happened.
I would be stunned, my compassion going through the roof for this man that had put his life on the line for the safety of others.
So because of what I had seen and experienced in life, I was judging another, when in truth I had no idea.
My compassion has changed five times in relating the above story. But why?
Well, in saying the above, there is one more thing that drives our compassion more than any other thing in this world.
Yes, our experiences are a big driver. To experience something means we can have true compassion because we relate to it directly, and can then truly understand what another is experiencing. But even then there is one other thing that will affect our compassion, and by its very nature it is a block to all that we do.
Our world is built on ‘conditional’. Loaded with it. And as we grow up it will implant its fears in such a way that we become that ‘conditional’, avoiding many things because of their pain. And in doing so we ‘hold’ much emotion within…because of that pain, and the love that we feel we are losing or we don’t deserve. And those walls are a buffer to the one thing that this life is trying to teach us. To love ourselves!
We cannot give out what we cannot give to ourselves. We are a reflection of what we are. If you are angry, you give out anger. If you are sad, you give out sadness. You can cover it by ‘acting’ a certain way, but deep inside you are still the person that you are from your experiences.
So our compassion is built on our experiences and how we are able to reflect that into the world.
Now I’m going to rock your boat a little further. Spirit said to me…’We know everything, but we do not ‘know’ it!’. Meaning that as Spirit they too must experience this conditional world to understand ‘unconditional’ love. That is our whole purpose down here. It is the only thing we take back ‘up there’, the compassion and love that we experience and develop ‘down here’.
So I will tell you something that happened to me many years ago.
I was with a beautiful friend who was going through a very rough period with her diagnosis of being Bi-Polar. During this afternoon I was watching her escalate beyond anything I could even imagine, becoming angrier and more agitated as the afternoon went on…and as a healer I could ‘feel’ that struggle of this little frightened girl inside struggling to come out of this wilderness that she was in…and my heart just ‘opened’ with so much compassion, and my heart totally went out to her.
And the most incredible thing happened…I was suddenly no longer there, I was ‘somewhere’ that could touch and feel everything. I no longer needed to ask any questions…I ‘knew’. Time was irrelevant, and the most incredible love and compassion I could never put into words, I would diminish it if I tried. But the one thing I did know was…I had ‘let go’ of my worlds fears and totally gave from my heart to this friend from a place I ‘know’ is within us all, a place that is all our destinations as we experience everything on our individual paths. And to reach this place we ‘need’ to have ‘conditional’ so that we can then truly ‘know’ and understand ‘compassion’, to achieve that ‘unconditional’ place within us all. We cannot ‘know’ happiness, unless we ‘know’ sadness. We cannot ‘know’ compassion, unless we ‘know’ fear. We cannot ‘know’ unconditional, unless we ‘know’ conditional. They are all our experiences.
So my journey has been built on that understanding, that all that we do is guiding us ever closer to that unconditional love that we all seek. To find that happiness within that is built on our ability to find that compassion within all that we do. And do it we will, because all experiences show us more and more of who we truly are within, the beauty that is only a wall away from a freedom like no other, and that happiness that we all search for.
I no longer judge anyone…no, not even a murderer. They too have their journey that affects them and all around them…but it all has purpose, to find that heart within by ‘seeing’ and ‘experiencing’ and find that balance inside, the one that says go past my fear, understand that it is just in place so that I can ‘see’ the truth within, release the duality of not loving myself because of that fear, and find that oneness that will make us whole once more.
I have been blessed with touching something that is initially unseen by this world. And when I was ready, it came knocking to see if I was listening. And when I was ready, going through one of the most tumultuous times in my life, I was at a place where I asked God, ‘Why?… what meaning was there in such a ‘dark night of the soul’ experience. Show me, at the least, some purpose in what we do’.
And God did.
I didn’t know it at the time, but I had made the decision in my life to have meaning in what I do, so I became a Remedial Massage Therapist to help heal others. And it was within those healing’s that I began to actually ‘see’ myself within others as they responded to me. And as this grew, from each fear that I faced and understood, the clearer I could ‘see’ and understand others. The more I opened my heart to myself, the more I could share that opening to others. And as each step was taken, spirit would show me many things to understand what this journey really means.
I have shared what I was shown over the years here on my blog site. And with those incredible experiences is the one thing that spirit has always been very constant with…we are all here to find that self-love, it is what unconditional love is…that ability to no longer hold anything against ourselves, that negativity, self-loathing or fear because we feel we have been rejected by those we love and look up to as we have grown up. Always thinking deep down, ‘they don’t love me, there must be something wrong with me for them to treat me like that’ and not feeling loved because of those actions, and building emotional walls to block the pain that they cause. And we hold those doubts for a very long time, slowly simmering below the surface in all that we do.
Then along comes that event , a divorce or a death of someone very close, or a rejection from those we love, that will bring it rushing back up so that we can begin that journey to break free from our fear, a rebirth if you will, to finally understand and be released from its shackles…and touch that happiness we have always looked for.
And have that one compassion that always seemed to elude us…that compassion for ourselves.
Only then, in ‘knowing’ conditional, will we then ‘know’ unconditional, and a true compassion in all that we do.