I’m Ok!

But if ok is enough, then you would never appreciate the discovery of that love within. It all leads back inside to finding your truth, that understanding that all your ‘looking’ for something out there, is really back inside your heart. And the only thing that is blocking it, is the fear to look within, that self doubt that we all have from years of having it drummed in that we aren’t good enough, not loveable which builds a wall of self doubt.
Look within, search for that part that upsets you the most, a switch that gets thrown when someone treats you a certain way and upsets you to the core, even creating an anger that you always try to suppress. And we all avoid looking because of that fear, who wants to go into something that makes us feel that way.
But there is your journey, because when you finally really look deep into it and for the first time ‘see’ what has been driving it for all these years….you will finally UNDERSTAND it…and it will no longer hold that fear anymore because you now see why it has held you fast…and you let it go, your life will change to such a degree it will feel like you have been released from jail after 50 years, it is that profound.
You will be changed forever….AND you will feel more closer and loving to yourself because you now see what has kept you in this unloving place. And in that love, you will find that thing that we all search for….happiness.
We had not allowed ourselves to touch that place within through those beliefs of ourselves….now there is no wall to block the truth of what we really are within. The duality that we all must face, to find that unconditional love within us all, can now be felt, seen and released, and we begin to stand in that truth….and just be glad and smile in that knowing πŸ™‚
That is our path in all that we do down here on this lovely big blue planet. It is to find ourselves in the millions of ways that it is possible as we trip, stumble and sway to the rhythms of life. It all points back to how we feel about ourselves and how we express that out into the world.
We all seek that happiness, that well of love that will lift us out of all that we go through and save us from the pain and hurt that this life brings. But within it are great wisdom’s to find that self truth. How can we know and appreciate love unless we are treated poorly….how can we find our compassion and empathy unless we have lost and suffered. All we go through cannot be understood until we actually go through and feel them, the good and the bad.
This journey is filled with great pain, but also tempered with great love so that we UNDERSTAND what it is when we finally step into that love of ourselves….that unconditional love of self. And it is all given with a great love so that we CAN see that journey.
We all know when a truth touches us inside….follow that path…for it is the path home, to that happiness we all seek within.

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29 thoughts on “I’m Ok!

  1. How heart warming your post is mark… I have also been called AGAIN to look within as I caught myself triggered by others… My sign that some part of me remains unloved, so I have too spent some me-time diving into my depths, calling for parts of unworthiness, sadness, aloneness whatever has been left, to come back home to me and be embraced, be loved…and be whole.

    Thank you so much for being you and my sacred friend… Love barbara x

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Barbara. The biggest shock I’ve ever had was in getting hit with what I thought was something I had actually dealt with, and had actually released.
      We kid ourselves into thinking we have faced those big ones, but in truth I realised they take many attempts sometimes to really see whether we have in fact let them go.
      Me and my grand ‘awareness’ meant nothing….I too have to look inside and ‘see’ my truth, and release those many walls that we all seem so professional at building πŸ˜€
      And as you say, come back inside and hug that beautiful person within and show them the love that is truly unconditional.
      Thank you for sharing Barbara, your words are appreciated. Mark xo

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Beautiful. A simply stunning expression of the true human spirit, and yet, I can’t find it. I am so glad that I found this blog. I’ve added you to my reader, because I may not quite know how to get beyond the self-loathing, it doesn’t mean I’m against reading about the beauty of self discovery. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Sandra. All of life’s beauties are stunningly simple…but, we get in the way. And I don’t mean deliberately, but with our fears that we are brought up with always holding us back.
      These have been implanted from how we feel we were treated at a very young age, and because our emotional coping strategies at that age are not very mature, we just throw up a wall, block anything that is painful and therefore never dealt with, and carry it on into our adult lives.
      The self loathing is a holding pattern, usually from something that has occurred in our youth, like being treated very poorly by a parent (who I might add you will find that THEY are continuing a treatment they have had from their parents), a rejection of the love we are seeking from that connection with a parent but has been replaced by a fear because of the treatment. And in that treatment is ingrained a self loathing, thinking we are not good enough because of that treatment.
      Now I am generalising at the moment, if you look deeper you will see that it can be triggered by many things, but nearly all will come back to a particular way you have been treated.
      And to add to that, in your case, you are struggling with the condition called bi-polar you have mentioned on your site. From what I am aware, this condition will exacerbate those feelings within and push them to such a degree that it will seem you are surfing the big pipeline at Hawaii.
      As I am not a Doctor I cannot give help with that per se, but I may be able to help with another direction that can affect your bi-polar. A friend of mine had the condition and we found that if she was able to come to terms with those things that were always triggering her low self worth, it calmed the beast, so to speak. We looked for what she felt were her triggers and looked deeper into these so that she could understand what was driving them, understand why she reacted to these….and let them go. For anybody, once the understanding of why those fears are held in place…they are no longer anything to be afraid of, and like anything else we go through, like starting a new job, after a while we get used to it and just let that anxiousness and fear go.
      Now obviously the bigger fears in life take a little more understanding, but like all else it is surmountable, it is always a persistence in wanting to be released from something that you feel is affecting you and holding you back.
      And in these things that we deal with, is much understanding. Once we understand something, we let it go….and each time we release a wall we open a little further, and each time we open we give ourselves that one thing we all seek in this life…happiness. And it can be found by that self love of dealing with these things in our life, understanding them and letting them go. That is self love…it is reaching that point within where we have had enough, no longer can handle being in a place of fear and loathing…and break free by looking inside and finding what drives these feelings.
      Find a great counselor, put it ‘out there’ that you wish to go beyond where you are now at and find that beautiful heart within. It is waiting, it knows you are reaching this point, and more than anything is cheering you on.
      There will be days where you struggle, but that is ok too. You have begun a journey that will change you forever because you choose to go past what has held you back. Seek that love within, it is only being held back through fear…and fear is beatable….once understood it loses its hold…and you are free.
      Love and light for your journey Sandra, may you see the beauty that is within you, believe in you and what you can achieve within yourself…you are worth it πŸ™‚

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    • And I thank you kind lady, your words are appreciated and taken with the love that they are given.
      I asked spirit to help me to be a healer, it was my calling. Little did I know of what I asked πŸ˜€ .
      Spirit immediately pointed to my fears, and I did the usual ‘speak to the hand’. And then spirit very gently took me into each hurt and pain that I had experienced and showed me how I had dealt with them, and what the outcome was in each and every one of them.
      Here I was thinking that it was horrible and I never wanted to go back there etc, etc. But it was in facing them that I could see that they in fact had purpose. They showed me a journey that we all go through, and all had one purpose…to show us that beauty within.
      They all lead back inside to how we feel about ourselves….nothing else….just that one thing….from the many, many ways that it takes, and we go through, to do that.
      Once we see those fears and WHY they are there…we let them go and finally UNDERSTAND what drove them truly. From years and years of refusing to look within and really see what they were made from, we finally come into our own….that journey to understand that love within…and BE that love.
      Thank you for sharing Kristin, it can be a very painful place that we live in….but under it all, and waiting patiently is a love like nothing else you have ever felt. When you finally reach out and touch it, you will see this journey is oh so worth every thing that we go through….promise! ❀

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    • I’ve been a little quiet Michele, been looking into some pain that I thought I had dealt with. Isn’t life grand πŸ˜€ . But I know its purpose is to break free of those walls and love that beautiful heart inside, the one we avoid, thinking we aren’t good enough, feelings of rejection and built from our fears etc.
      It is getting much better though, the views are so much more clearer and I’m beginning to see…me…truly see me for the first time πŸ™‚
      Thank you for coming by and sharing your journey as well.

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  3. Beautifully said, Mark. It takes such bravery to really dive into the depths of our pain–whatever it is–but it does seem the only alternative, as otherwise we continue to experience it in greater degrees until dealt with properly.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you Kay, your words are very true, and are from a lady who has seen her fears and stepped through them.
      They are very painful, but in return is the beauty of a that love that brings a ‘knowing’ of self.
      I bow to your wisdom and the love within gained from those journeys.
      Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Such Wisdom Mark.. Yes we all stumble and trip, we all bleed, and our hearts all ache… But we came for all of it within our experience of our Earth Realm Journey..
    What words of wisdom were in these lines

    “But within it are great wisdom’s to find that self truth. How can we know and appreciate love unless we are treated poorly….how can we find our compassion and empathy unless we have lost and suffered. All we go through cannot be understood until we actually go through and feel them, the good and the bad.”

    May we all of us dig deeper within and pull out our inner knowing and lay bare the truth of our hearts..
    Love and Blessings dear friend.. this was a heartfelt post..
    Sue ❀

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you very much Sue. As painful as this journey can be sometimes, it is needed to find that place within that we all seek.
      The wisdom that it teaches helps us to find that truth, and slowly changes who we are to who we want to be. That ‘reacting’ to life, to then ‘create’ what we want to become.
      That beacon, the heart, will always draw to us what is best for our journey, and sometimes it is the most incredible things…like when we finally understand it is in loving ourselves that we finally feel complete and no longer go ‘out there’ to find that happiness. It is in finally daring to look within for those fears that hold us back, that place we avoid, but holds the key to that happiness.
      Many thanks for sharing Sue, love and blessings to you also in your journey. May it have many butterflies and green thumbs πŸ™‚ ❀

      Liked by 3 people

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