First Love!

I was just minding my own business, I think
Not concentrating on anything in particular
One of those idle moments when you’re just absorbed in yourself
Off guard, defence’s down, not expecting…anything
And I think that is the secret to this time
The shock of so many things coming together
All in a heartbeat, the twinkle of an eye
The possibility, synchronicities…even the sheer magnitude
Of something coming together in the universe of this scope
Is un-bloody-believable
But there she stood, not spoken or even moved
Just the sheer energy that she gave out left me speechless
Mind you, that is a miracle in itself
And then, as if she knew what was in my DNA, she smiled
I was lost until then, but now really entered somewhere untouched
Thoughts that hadn’t been engaged for…what seemed like ever
Scrambled to make sense of what that smile did within
And then I couldn’t help myself, I smiled back
It felt strange…those particular muscles also haven’t been used forever
But I didn’t care, I felt nothing but the sparkle in her eye
And then she was gone, leaving me gasping for air
Mind altered, perceptions in affray, dopamine charged to high
I was lost again, but this was so much deeper, I almost cried out
But she then returned, and this time she opened her heart and spoke
“Hi!” and smiled THAT smile again
I said, “Hello!” and her smile got brighter
And I knew right then, she was the one, without her I would die.

—————————————

Note*
I saw some magic in another’s eye, brought back memories.
Thankfully much wisdom has been gained for a more true love by being loving to myself, and then give from there.
And they are all First Love’s as we are always in a more wiser and loving place each time we step past those fears and open our hearts again.
Am I ready? 🙂

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35 thoughts on “First Love!

  1. Pingback: First Love! (Part II) | Healing Your Heart!

    • Thank you Gede. And I see, because of the awareness of my journey, that in seeing this within another, I have more to understand within myself.
      I have touched ‘unconditional’ in my life and it comes from a total giving of self, and this then creates a total awareness and the beauty is beyond words.
      Wanting to be with or share with another is another ‘need’ and allows me to see something so that I may understand myself further. But like all things on this journey, I will always attract to me what is required for my understanding. And like all things, there is a balance to be found.
      And thank you for sharing your website, it is a light to find that beauty within. Mark

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Elle. The encounter was a beautiful experience to say the least, but I think the incredible part was how I now experienced it AFTER many years of wisdom from this world.
      It still makes the heart beat faster, the smiles so much bigger, but more than anything, I understand what love really means to me and how I express that love to another, and even seeing any fears that I had built from those relationships easier, as I now no longer wish to be held by them so that I can fully appreciate that beautiful contact with another.
      Thank you for sharing the experience. Mark

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Smiles are contagious 🙂 especially when the come from the heart…
    so much sparks in between your words… 🙂
    I enjoyed your smile you shared through thoughts to words…
    Take Care…You Matter…)0(
    maryrose

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    • Thank you maryrose. It was a lovely encounter and the energy was beautiful. Brought back many memories of those early days, viewing the world through those rose colored glasses.
      In hindsight it wasn’t any glasses, we just didn’t have all those fears blocking what we really feel and so could move mountains…which is what true love can do.
      Now if I can just move a few more walls…my light may need a stronger pair of sunglasses 😀
      Thank you kind lady for sharing a moment in time, and a smile created from that beauty within that we all have. May your smiles be from there too. Mark

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Wonderful Mark! Thank you for sharing such a beautiful poem. It appears to be your time for love again! I have met a wonderful man and we seem to read each other’s mind and we complete each other’s sentences. In fact, I believe him to be my twin flame! It’s amazing! It is also a little scary. I wonder if I am truly ready and if he is ready for me. I am independent and need freedom to be me. How does one merge with another and truly accept who they are? I accept him but he is having a problem accepting my independence. He believes in the traditional relationship where the man plays a certain role and the female plays a certain role. I believe in fairness, being partners, friends, lovers and supporting one another. Right now, it’s a balancing act and I pray we are able to do just that.

    I wish for you to have love and happiness.

    Vee

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    • We always attract exactly what is needed in our lives Vee. In your instance, and this is just a casual observation, your need of distance MAY be from your life experiences of being hurt in some way (as in childhood emotional interaction with your parents, they may have found it difficult to express their emotions to you, or many relationships have been painful), so you have been kept emotionally distant and find it hard to be with someone as close as they like. And in his instance, it may be a lifetime of loss and the need for that closeness can be very strong.
      But the one thing I do know, is that the universe understands us totally, and will only bring into our lives someone or thing that will help us to be more open, more beautiful, and more giving by going through those bumps in our lives so that we can interact in a more loving way. Sometimes it can be hard to look within because those places can be quite raw. But in all, if we find something rubbing us the wrong way, then we know that there is where our journey is. To look within and ask ourselves, ‘why do I feel this way’, and follow your truth. Then you can reach that lovely unconditional place that does set you free so that those things no longer become a ‘bump’ and we can accept another totally as they are.
      We can feel ‘merged’ with another because we see so much of ourselves within them, hence the attraction and being able to be so close, but then they will also reflect those things that we don’t like within ourselves and those are the lumpy bits that need ironing out. The first time I realised that, and I had reacted to something from another, I finally realised it wasn’t them, it was me. It can be quite a shock and create an anger or upset because it can be very confrontational to ‘see’ yourself in that light.
      But don’t forget, within all this there is much beauty, love and much happiness as well. It is amazing the bad bits always seem to overshadow so much (but yes, that is where the work is needed 🙂 ), but also remember to breeeeathe, and enjoy a journey that IS all about that love within. We are all clearing those spaces to shine a little brighter each day and be that perfection that is coming into the light.
      My thanks for your wishes, I too have created a circumstance to ‘see’ an action with another that has made me have a look within. It took me by surprise as I haven’t been in a relationship for a while as I needed to deal with the big changes that the previous relationship brought up. So as this is the first since then, I found a little ‘fear’ cowering in the corner and it snuck up on me 🙂
      We all have our journeys, and they always attract exactly what we need. We know the universe loves us unconditionally so will always give us the perfection that will bring us closer to that place within.
      Best wishes for your journey too Vee, may it be with much beauty, love and understanding. Mark

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  4. I don’t think anyone is ever “ready” and it doesn’t change a thing. Maybe our last love is the one that matters most?

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    • Very true Willow-Marie. I think the ‘ready’ was more in jest because of the being caught off guard, the unexpectedness which I might add, added to the beauty of the experience.
      And I think our loves all mattered in their own way, as we explore this world of love.
      Many lessons, some hard and some of the most beautiful things are felt and understood. And slowly we find ourselves, those flashes of wisdom and understanding to become that lovely unconditional love that is within us all. Thank you for sharing. Mark

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    • It was quite an interesting discovery…a synchronicity…that the universe is built on in its perfection 🙂
      I quite enjoyed ‘The divinity Within’ as it is my journey as well.
      Hope you enjoy the exploring, as I will your blog Jan. Mark

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    • Thank you thewingedwoman. It is in fact something that we all do everyday…it is in trusting that feeling within that guides us truly. My awareness is only totally in that space because I have learned to trust self, remove my fears (not all, I’m still working on a few 🙂 ), and be more open to those feelings. As I trusted them I began to feel another’s energy for its purpose, ie. if they were stressed, ill or when it is needed to guide another in their journey. Mom’s are great at it because they have been taught from youth to go with their feelings, it is just life that blunts that as you go through the many things that this life teaches. One day we begin to realise it is those feelings within that are the purpose of this path we are all on and we begin to do as I do. But first the trips and the stumbles as they have purpose too. And I agree with your comment on getting lost in the feeling’s, it is a beautiful place to be instead of the sometimes hum drum of life. Thank you for the lovely hugs, and given in return! Mark

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      • What you speak of is what I am just beginning to learn. The more I trust and less I fear, the more beautiful things become. I have always been empathetic, but the energy is now is much more noticeable. Glad to hear of another traveler on the same path, and to learn it is going well for you!

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        • It is all part of the curve of life. We can’t properly understand it until we go through the different stages so we can learn and appreciate what we have travelled through. It would be like teaching a baby to ride a bike. Unless it knew about balance and speed it would be forever in a place of confusion. This world and our journey in it is so beautifully balanced so that we can understand and gradually find that beauty within that can only be understood after being in those hard places. It teaches grace, faith, trust and the beauty of the unconditional love that is understood after being in those places. May your journey show you those things even though I feel the beauty in the wisdom you have already gained. May there always be the wisdom of love and light on your path wingedwoman. Mark

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  5. How wonderful mark ‘to be so ready’ to see your magnificent and wise self in another… To feel pureness of love itself… You are so ready and I believe she is too… It will be interesting to hear how she is truly integrated herself… Barbara x

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    • It has been an interesting thing to see yourself in another. But isn’t that what love is? That eternal search to find self. To love self unconditionally. And each time we go through a time with another, we become closer to that inner heart that is us, that eternal search to find that one thing that drives us all, to reach that nadir, that completeness to become as one…and totally love unconditionally…because it is that connection that we seek…to return to that singularity…that is everything.
      Barbara, your words have shown me something that I hadn’t seen before, this ‘knowing’ that came through that I have just now written. It is an incredible understanding…I can barely give its worth in these words.
      Sorry Barbara, this needs much more thought so that I can fully realise what I have been shown.
      Thank you so very much for your comment, and the trigger to show me something so amazing.
      Blessings to you my beautiful friend for sending me that love in those words. Mark xo

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  6. Yes please, I need all the good energy I can get because I’m going down hill fast. Now, if you hook up with this wonderful woman, she better not interfere with me and you chatting. That’s gonna have to be a deal breaker. If she’s like that, she’s not the one. LOL I’m about to lose it. I had that damn MRI of my hip done last Friday and now I’m being told that the surgeon won’t be back in til Friday. Yesterday they said he would be back today. She did tell me that it showed abnormal joint space with swelling and bone defect. That’s just freakin’ great. I will not survive a surgery like that. He told me I would be very high risk for complications, no shit! I’ve had 13 damn surgeries, but I’ve never been terrified like this. This is some serious stuff and I don’t think I’m cut out for that kind of crap. I think I might need a triple dose tonight, if you don’t mind. LOL All I have is negative energy right now, so I better not be sending that your way. I’ll send ya some when I can find some. I’m fresh out! Peace out, your Royal Majesty!!!!!! 🙂 only smiling cause I’m talking to you. I’ll go back to crying now. 😦 Yeah, I know mister, I am a hot mess!!!!!!

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  7. YES, YOU ARE READY! NOW GO OUT AND GET HER! BEAUTIFUL POEM, I MIGHT ADD. YOU’RE MAKING MY WRITING LOOK REALLY, REALLY BAD. LOL 🙂 my response is based on past conversations we’ve had. Have a great day, my dear friend. 🙂

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    • Thank you Wild Flower. I’ll see her again in a week or so. I’ve intrigued myself with my reaction, I think I was meant to see something within (which I have), and realise where I was at.
      Your writing is coming from exactly where it should be my friend. Showing the world where you are at, and coming from in your journey. You cannot get any more perfect than that 🙂
      You have a great day too, good energy coming at you. Mark

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    • Thank you Sue. It took me back a bit to have those feelings raised in a brief encounter.
      And I think your very right, it is the fact that I’m much more open to me that has made the impact that it did…not so many things in the way so I’m in a much better place within…to receive that beautiful energy when I come across it. Thank you for the share my friend, have a wonderful day. Mark

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    • That little moment brought back lots of memories. And while I was feeling the ‘rush’ I tried to put it into words but my head was all over the place with many thoughts and that silly grin sensation that allows you to move mountains.
      It was nice to feel that feeling again 🙂
      Now if I can just get back to work and stop drifting back into that moment…it’s like a drug 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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