Learning to Love

I read a very nice poem by a  lovely lady on a blog here yesterday (scottishmomus you have been outed 🙂  ), and it reminded me of a love that I had experienced and what it had meant to me. Yes, that love was very special to me, but it showed me something even more precious. It showed me how to love myself, and I don’t mean that in a egotistical sense. Out of all that I went through over the last few years the main thing I found, and was shown by spirit, is our inability to love ourselves.

We always doubt ourselves, have little confidence in our abilities and belittle our worth in so many different ways. BUT, that is the journey, that is how we find and understand unconditional love. It is a journey within ourselves to find that capacity to give to ourselves that love that we find so hard to do, even to others because we don’t want to be hurt. It is only when we realise that if we give totally, step past the fear of being hurt, that we realise that it was inside us all the time, we just had to step past that fear in ourselves. An incredible realisation when you see and feel what it means.

So now I give from a totally different place, no more doubts, no more thinking I am not worth it, just do the best that I am able. Yes, I definitely still make mistakes, I’m still human, but that doesn’t give me the excuse any more for anything. I now know within myself that I always give from that place of love within and accept that. It has changed everything. Everything takes on a completely different aspect. All I have learnt in my life has practically been thrown out because it does not function in who I now am. But don’t get me wrong, all that went before was very much needed. Like trainer wheels on your bike, needed to start with but removed as your confidence in self was increased to a point that they were no longer needed.

So is life, the more we understand, the more we integrate our truth within into our everyday lives, the more we let go of what is no longer needed until we reach that lovely place of unconditional love. That is our path. It is the one thing that when we show our love openly, freely and with no fear, it is also returned in like manner. The universe is so in tune with our every move that when it see’s us take that step into ourselves, it will reciprocate in kind. I now see that on a day to day level, and when I do say ‘hang on, why isn’t such and such happening’, I know I’m putting expectations on it, so I let it go.

And slowly as I integrate this into my life I smile a lot more, simply because I am more happy within. People find that a bit confronting. My car breaks down, I smile, I lose money, I smile, because in the middle of all those things…they don’t matter. The most important thing in all this is you, and to learn you are that important in the scheme of things. Give that love to you, you deserve it, totally and unreservedly. Begin the change that will make all the difference in the world. And in return, be that change and give from a place that is now you, and like any relationship when you give something with love, it is returned in many ways.

First take one step…how do you truly feel about yourself within?…then take another…..and don’t worry about people looking at your trainer wheels, they are there for you so that you can find that truth within…this is YOUR journey, no one else’s, this is all about you, believing in yourself and finding that love and the perfect relationship with you. They will be delighted with the end product because of what you will become. Yes, it can be a fearful step, but be gentle on yourself, don’t put so much pressure on yourself that you enhance that fear, and more to the point, show me one child that hasn’t come tumbling down in the process. Even later on with the ‘look ma’, no hands’ that ends up in a heap because they got too cocky.

But that’s ok too. That’s the learning process. The most important bit is that you try, try to become that beautiful being within by being loving to yourself, and in return begin to express that love within that is just waiting to come out. Now…about that first step…are you ready to give that love to yourself?

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22 thoughts on “Learning to Love

  1. Thanks Mark for the wonderful advice. This was something I knew in my head but hadn’t taken it to heart. I love the analogy of the training wheels. Your words have helped me to take this lesson within. I am ready to love myself. Namaste

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    • It is an amazing journey and when we are ready within ourselves it makes itself known. Many are the times I need to look at things from a different perspective, until it ‘clicks’ and I then finally understand it for me. Glad it helped. By the way, that was a very beautiful poem ‘Tears’ on your blog. Written from the heart. Thank you again for the share. Namaste

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  2. Congratulations on such a great, inspirational site. Earlier this year I was told to learn to love myself, and I admit it is hard, easier to love those around you but I am trying. Thank you for sharing this.

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    • Thank you Maria and my pleasure that you have found inspiration within it. It is a bit confronting to start with but as we begin to give that love to ourselves we will slowly let go of the ‘life and fears’ that has been drummed into us all our lives, and start to feel a truth inside us. Feel that change to trust within and then begin to give from a completely different place. A new you is created that lives a life with your truth, integrity and a heartfelt expression in all you do. And because you hold up that new belief, that new sign within you, the universe see’s this and now begins to give back what you are putting out there. Yes, there will still be days, but now you can see and feel what you have become and those days will no longer drag you into those pits of frustration that you think you will never get out of. The new you is now ok. Can give from a place that is more confident and happier within because of that love you are creating for yourself. Love and light for your journey. Namaste

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    • My pleasure. It was a lovely journey for me to finally understand this process that we all go through, to find ourselves through some incredible struggles, and come to that moment of realisation, that it was always about us, and that love we can give to ourselves. Namaste

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    • Thank you kindly Tammy, I appreciate the award. This is my first so I will take it with the love (and probably tiredness 🙂 ), that it was given! 🙂 Get some sleep before you fade away! 🙂

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      • Mark,
        I survived. It’s all good. I’m anxiously waiting to hear how you’re coming along with it. Today, it’s your turn. I was awake until 5:00 a.m. and up at 7:00 a.m. had 3 appointments today, no time for any napping. It’s now 5:15 p.m. and I took my bedtime meds about an hour ago and I sure hope I conk out any minute. Good luck.
        Peace out,
        Tammy 🙂

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        • That is very good to hear that you have survived the first wave 🙂 I am going to take my own advice and get everything together first in a draft, then do the send thing. Hopefully there will be no explosions, wails of fear or gnashing of teeth. I do think it is very time consuming and that in itself would vastly reduce responses because people do not have the time. Mind you, these awards do feel good to the recipient, gives a feeling of appreciation and the responses give more understanding about them. (Wait till you read my ‘things’ about me 🙂 ). Mine should go up in the next couple of hours, I need to do some serious caffeine (I actually drink decaf would you believe, but it is a psychological gee up to get me going 🙂 ). Hopefully I don’t offend anyone in the process. Sleep well, may your dreams take you on a journey of freedom. Namaste

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          • Well, Mark, I’m glad to hear you are doing your homework. Sounds like you are handling it much better than I did, so far. I am just very impatient. I want to do it. I want to do it now. I want to do it right. I’m just like that. LOL I may be drifted off to la la land by the time you get it posted, but no worries, I’ll see it tomorrow. Hope the rest keeps going smoothly for you. You better not offend me in the process. Offending the person who nominated you for the award is against the rules. LOL good night, friend,
            Tammy 🙂

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          • My patience is seriously being tested. I just lost the lot. It saved to somewhere in the ethers and doesn’t wish to be returned. Obviously I had something on there that wasn’t to the universe’s liking 🙂 I have a another chunk saved somewhere, I’ll re-add to that and get it up and running. Patience is a virtue…..right? 🙂 And I will not offend, I didn’t say anything about your losing control at all (I’m kidding) 🙂 Now Tammy, how could I possibly say anything bad about you. Sweet upon awakening, till sleep takes that lovely heart to rest. Night 🙂

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          • LOL LOL see what I mean. It will definitely test your patience of which I have none. I’m serious I’ve never done so much cussing for so long at one time. Over 8 hours, every word in the book, too. I think I even made up a few as I went along. Trust me, I lost plenty of control last night, but I lose control a lot, anyway. LOL I’m impatient and impulsive. I want it done and I want it done now and I do not think before I speak or act. I’m a real character as my oldest daughter said yesterday. Sweet? That’s what I love about this virtual world. Sleep better be just right around the corner. I took my meds, I think it was around 4:00 p.m. and it’s now 7:08 p.m. I guess, it would probably help if I shut down shop for the night. In fact, that’s what I’m going to do right now because I cannot go on like this with getting no sleep. Have a good time with your homework and hopefully I will be able to see it tomorrow. I’m sure you will do fine. Get you some beer or something. that will calm your nerves because your nerves will most definitely be tested during this process. Good night, friend.
            Peace out,
            Tammy 🙂

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    • My pleasure Skye. Like the poems that you share, they touch what is felt within, to understand and give meaning. I hope this brings you strength and understanding for what it means to you. Have a great day as well. Namaste

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